Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I was impaled with an icepick and then stun gunned

(Mengele click HERE AND HERE)

this is MODERN medicine?
.

what there wasn't a stray voodoo witch doctor around?????????
.
I am sure I would have been MUCH more comfortable with someone shaking bones over my head, even if they had to sacrifice some chicken feathers or something.

.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I get some ICEPICK
test
followed by the STUN GUN test.
.
Invented no doubt by a MAN,........ the same one that invented MAMOGRAPHY...
.
and no one warned me.......sniff
and you all call yourselves my FRIENDS?
sniff
so
here I am, impaled, both arms, one leg and part of my neck and back......
THEN I went to see Mengele.....( that actually was the highlight of my day HIHI June and HIHI Kathy)
ok I have imminent period arrival..... IPA, so I had a san napkin and old clean but ok to be stained undies...... so what does the doc make me do?
lay on my stomach and he sticks pins in my BACK.............
oh
and the best part
every single time he zapped me
and I SCREAMED......
he said he was sorry..........
if he really was FREEKEN sorry he would stop FREEKEN zapping me........
my little body is now all dented where he zapped and stabbed me.....
my arms and legs kicked and contorted all by themselves.....
I am STILL in agony.........
sniff
now Bernie has yet to hear this whole ordeal
( and the first one that feels sorry for Bernie that he didn't get a chance to WATCH......and LAUGH....... may you pee yourself........... )

I can't even give anyone the finger as that finger was impaled and is protesting mightily......
sniff
so is my back, neck......legs.....
actually NOT one FREEKEN spot on my body feels normal

sniff
vi
send cheesecake, icecream, and amazon gift certificates.........

OH OH OH AND one more thing....( OK two)
I am DENTED
yes that's right
all that impalement and stunning dented me!
plus I really think I should have turned them stun gun thingies on his testicles .........no?
ZAP This big boy
damn
vi
who is going to go back to nursing her boo boos with some milk and a peanut butter sandwitch

2 comments:

  1. Vi, no giggles, not even a smile here -- you have my complete and utter sympathy, along with a couple of companionable winces as I read your entry. And as a self-anointed peanut butter specialist, I hereby award you the PB Heart award for injuries sustained in combat.

    Bad old doctor. We'll get him someday, oh yes Precious!

    ReplyDelete
  2. poor, poor vi. i know, we'll all stab him with our pink aluminum needles, hook up batteries, and let him have it. oh dear, that is frightening!

    ReplyDelete

thank you for your comment- it will take a while to appear on the site, as it does get moderated (to cut down on spammers- i also don't allow backlinks)
i do so appreciate your taking time to write to me
vi