Momma vi's little book of instructions

first off........DO NOT try and hike rhinebeck in clogs

do not do it
or if you want to attempt it.......... do yourself a favor and cut your legs off at the hips NOW and avoid the rush.

do not attempt to feed the chickens tomato slices..... make them eat chunks....

DO knit brightly colored hats and keep them by every door, in every coat pocket.....
and also keep at least two in each vehicle at all times

when you are almost 50 facial hair happens.............
suck up and deal with it.. you really THINK I like having my hair migrate south?

homemade chicken soup is a very good thing... make sure you use a STEWING CHICKEN and eat it at least twice a month during the winter

children and cats will make you old fast...................

so will bad men

the way to keep a good man good is keep him thinking you are the most brilliant, intelligent etc since einstein.. and do NOT allow him to get new eyeglasses regularly........
and if you must let him get new eyeglasses...........pay the dog to smudge the lenses daily.............

( and watch that dog for extortion, give her just ONE carrot........no matter what she says.....she lies I tell you)

the second you have resigned yourself to wearing a 2X shirt................
you WILL lose weight............
when you break down and get a large.... you will gain it all back with interest..................

but at least you won't have wrinkles huh?????


if you heat with wood, you will get bugs in the house........... do not let the cats play with the wasps or the spiders......

if you ask for a new kitchen........DEMAND the counters to go with it........

don't fall for that ' maybe' crap................ get it all in writing with witnesses.......... signed in BLOOD
and make him put up a bond or something.

make cheddar cheese sauce for steamed cauliflower... never mind how I know this............... just do it

drink at least two cups of coffee every day........... tell folks it is to prevent colon cancer.........
being wired is a good thing...............


and do not eat chocolate.... do not believe the hype from the candy companies......
coffee is much better then chocolate could ever be




til next time or when I figure more

vi

transylvanian garlic, & sheep manure

you know...... the GOOD things in life

ok we planted garlic....
transylvanian, silverskin and a red garlic
I got a plot of garlic that is about 5 feet long by about 3 feet wide...
hopefully garlic likes sheep shit cause THAT is what it is planted in.....
worms BIGGER then my FINGERS....
fisherfolks eat your heart out.

we took the dead plants out of the garden.... mulched a bit
brought in firewood
bernie took hoses out etc
I helped for a while until moron neighbor was outside screaming at those poor little boys.....
I don't know which kid he was yelling at but one of the boys was crying.....
since the oldest just turned 9.......
they are not big boys at all
he was yelling at the boy for crying.

he was yelling so loud that EVERYONE could hear him if they were outside

that idiot makes me sick.

ok on to better things
I made carole's sloppy joes last night
I even bought worchestershire sauce AND hot sauce to make them.. that is how GOOD it is.
we had them last night on multigrain rolls and today we also will have them..........

ok in other news, I am plotting to get me a green house......
nothing too big mind......but maybe a way to grow some lettuce etc over the winter.
since all the e-coli scares with the fresh produce.......
it's better if we grow our own no?

I got brussels sprouts I am babying out on the deck right now....
I want to rig a cold frame for them so they will actually GROW
btw, the one seed i planted in a barrel of manure is 6 times the size of the ones I planted in regular garden soil......
so the moral is boys and girls.. have the sheep shit in your garden..........
or...........

no matter how deep the doo doo....... it is fodder for SOMETHING no?
hahahahahahaa
ok
meanwhile now........
I am off to the kitchen I also have a bushel of apples to sauce today...
hmmmmmmmmmmmm

cinnamon spiced applesauce anyone?


vi
til next time

I found the studio floor! AND fawn caught a mouse!

ok I came back to interupt this post with a news flash.....
Fawn caught her very first mouse........!

she killed it as well......and did NOT growl at me when I took it away from her.....( unlike her grand children who sound like a bunch of pitbulls when we try to take the living mice from them)
pretty good for a cat that spent her first 5 years in a cage huh?
with no momma cat to show her how to hunt!

I am so proud of her.......
she got a BIG bunch of catnip


ok now on to the regular blog post

amazing huh?
on saturday, ( today's monday)
we reorganized the studio
ha
now the studio is a big open room of 18X23
we sort of made 4 little 'ells' with storage units to have seperate areas for my workbenchs ( I get two ells)
bernie's workbench and models
and my computer/office area

there is a big open center area now for the wood stove to heat through the house.

we didn't even fight much
!!!!

sunday was corn maze, and back to carole's

my little violet the goatie is HUGE now
she is going to be bigger then her momma rosie........

and they sold rosie........sniff... not to me...... but to Shawn and Tara........ which is ok as if there is anyone else I would want rosie to live with it's them
they are a nice family.

they will be good to rosie
I will miss rosie and need to get visitation rights

ok
anyway........ til next time

vi

ANNIVERSARY'S some need to be forgotten

ok yup yup I admit it
I got counter top envy.....( considering I don't have ANY countertops yet..... well....... you can all understand why right?)


let me tell you a story......

once upon a time, a wonderful ( and TALL, SKINNY, HEY it's MY story...I can be tall and skinny) person with a woefully inadequate kitchen.... was trying to make soap while also cooking dinner...
She fell over a box and a chair that were serving as a temporary cupboard as her's were falling off the walls.....

and she spoketh thusly....... ( that is a good one ......watch now)

'WHY do I have to have the worlds WORST kitchen...( seriously I have british friends that tell me they come from the land of horrific kitchens and mine gave THEM nightmares)

WHEN I am the one that is ALWAYS in the kitchen, as I cook from scratch, freeze ( now can) dry food..... I make soap, I bake, I dye fiber and fabrics.....I FELT......... I am ALWAYS in this kitchen....

ALL my friends have decent to grand kitchens..... (***note all the friends with the 50K kitchens normally all just eat takeout.... but I digress)

WHY shouldn't I have a wonderful kitchen...... a beautiful white cottage kitchen????? arranged in a better design..'

well apparently SOMEONE was listening as that night bernie came home and asked if I would like a white kitchen............
duh.......?
how long now I been talking about a white cottage kitchen....???????????????
well that very next saturday one was carried into my living room

( now the more astute among you will realize what is wrong with that sentence... and if you don't..... well that is because you probably wouldn't imagine someone as dumb as I apparently am)

where it sat........
and sat
and time past-eded
and past-eded
years in fact


''Bern, when you going to INSTALL that kitchen?????'

see our little heroine was really getting sick of falling over kitchen cabinets in the living room......

finally bern couldn't stand the nagging anymore and one weekend.... emptied the old kitchen and pull all the cabinets out....
with time some new cabinets actually made it into the new kitchen...and the peasants rejoiced....

after a few more years....( in which our heroine almost grew a beard....but couldn't sleep long enough)
st carole of the goatie dairy came over and ripped the kitchen out and rearranged it into a more pleasing whole.....

( that would be a year today actually)

now the little kitchen's path was clear....... the bones were there.... occationally bernie would do one or two more little things to give our very hopeful little person a glimpse of the glory that would be this kitchen if it EVER gets done.....

a hood was put up AND Wired..... let there be light!

outlets.... 2 out of the three work!!!
amazing.....
but still not countertops....

and the moral of this story is......


WHEN you ask for something from the universe............ first trust that someone WILL hear you....
and don't forget to ask for the countertops....as they do have a wicked sense of humor.....

( they once sent me a REAL bat for a halloween decoration when I said out loud, I wish we had some halloween decorations....oye don't ask)

vi
and now my friends you know WHY I got countertop envy.............

oh and I have been informed that until the sink gets moved and the dishwasher installed permanently...... there will BE no talk of COUNTER TOPS

sniff


and another quick rant
( I send these originally to my canning group on yahoo.. but I thought you all would laugh so I posted them here~ vi)


I think now it is time to not only can the last of seasonal veggies
but to can things like chili etc...
so we got actual MEALS in the pantry in the jars....

now you all do realize that since I did this.....( this whole can a years almost worth of food)

I have single handedly assured my area of a light and open winter......
with low gas and heating costs

since it never seems to fail....
please be so kind as to examine the following evidence

we got a troy-bilt snowblower in 94, with a 7 year warrenty...... we were able to use it ONCE in 7 years.....in the snow belt no less....... multiple ski resorts went bankrupt

the year that the warrenty was up ( more or less)......our 5 year old furnace became terminally ill
and we replaced it..... of course it happened on september 7 of 2001, and while I was attempting to find a company to replace our furnace..... 9/11 happened...
after the stock market reopened...... we found out that our funds that were earmarked for this......were not there basically...

ok we figured another way around.....

and managed to get an olsen put in......5 year warrenty............. ( do the math)

that year pansies bloomed on our deck at christmas.....

and in january I was in a teeshirt......

ok fast forward to last fall.... 2005, we put in a wood stove..........

ha
again an 'open' winter....
naturally my chimeny is way too short
so the 'draw' only works well at 30 degrees and below....
needless to say.......it was very very warm last winter......


now
this winter......we got 7 cords of wood
a full pantry
we will have new stove pipe and a longer chimney......( the new stove pipe is coming October 12)
I bet you I should give up and start planting peas RIGHT NOW
cause I am sure it is a question of....... 'you call THAT WINTER'

PALM trees are going to migrate NORTH........


want the gas crisis solved???
seriously

all we need to do to solve it
is for bernie and i to buy a hybrid

then the gas crisis will be solved....... the day we sign on the dotted line