Saturday, February 02, 2008

almost back to the land of the living

and i learned a lot while i was so very sick

let my pain be a lesson to you

never drink a gallon of apple juice across 4 days......what goes in must come out
and when it does come out.........well......lets just say 'you are no longer full of shit'

never underestimate the weight of goosedown.....it weights 48 million tons per square inch
and it WILL trap you.....
as will blue eyed kittens...
who instantly weigh 97 pounds on each leg

dry toast can be a blessing

so can clean toilet bowls

there should be a law in marriages

if one person is deathly sick....the other MUST not get sick at all

sadly i broke that rule and bernie had to take care of me

i tend to halucinate nekid chickens dancing in a chorus line when my fever gets too high.....

this is an improvement of the plucked turkeys i halucinated when my temp got to 104 after bernie and i first were married

cold compresses are only a shock for a few seconds.....they are exceptionally good on your eyes

theraflu is your friend

logs for the woodstove must be made of lead
i don't know how those leaden logs burn

if you hold your arms up when you are really sick.....you fall over
(don't hang the laundry......it will bite you in the ass)

remember that apple juice thing....or you will regret NOT remembering it over and over and over

red noses are not the glamour statement you would think after hearing that stupid rudolph song

when you're really sick...... room temp water....
it's the BEST THING
vintage 20 seconds ago.....seriously
but it also weighs a ton.....must be really hard water

maybe i need a 'sippy' cup?

puffs tissues with the lotion.......pay extra


and the last thing

an entire week of your life can and WILL just slip by

you won't know
you won't CARE

and you won't even KNIT


til next time if i survive

vi

ps bernie is much much better
having gotten the other abcess yanked thursday....with no help from me

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:40 PM

    You are remarkably funny when you are sick...

    ...and still weird.

    Glad you're both improving.;-)

    Trish

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  2. Hope you both are all better soon!

    I swear the yarn I sent you did not have any germs on it! ;-D

    Hugs, Jen

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  3. I'm so glad you're both feeling better - I worry, you know.

    I'm on the mend too, thank you for your kind thoughts - I'm sure it would have been quicker with your chicken soup!

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  4. Timing is everything, isn't it? Years ago while my husband was "sick but stable," we went through a round of Norovirus - sickest I have ever been in my LIFE, fortunately it only lasted a couple of days, but while I was basically unable to stand upright unless I was lurching for the bathroom, I was being cared for by a Stage IV cancer patient getting around on a walker. He got it too, but probably because of all the other drugs he was taking, his was mild, while mine knocked me on my butt and would not let me stand up.
    So I totally identify with the combo of "major dental surgery and fever and such" and then caregiver gets the flu. Timing is everything, ain't it?

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  5. Oh, I guess I shoulda said sickest I've ever been but for that brain aneurysm thing, that also knocked me on my butt. I tend to not count that as being sick for some reason, probably because the great drugs they gave me made it a nicely floaty experience, totally unlike the flu.

    And you are hilarious even while sick. Beware the apple juice!

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  6. At least your sense of humor seems to have survived intact!

    Glad that you are feeling better --at least, enough to post!

    (oh, and I know what you mean about those logs!)

    ReplyDelete

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