Thursday, October 07, 2010

a hat a day?

next week is rhinebeck, which my sister in law colleen is going to for the very first time
sooooooooo
as it's due to rain (sorry mo, i think it's going to be cold wet and really nasty weather.....)
i knit her a blue and grayish white tweed colorknit hat
in about six hours
but since it's not any thing really spectacular..***hello, only six hours***
i expect she'll only wear it if the weather is nasty
i am going to wear i think bernie's light blue one
he'll wear his darker blue one or maybe colleen will wear one of the solid blue ones
anyway
we have hats for rhinebeck
(mine will most likely be a barn hat)

oh and the budgies are all getting along fine btw, the yellow one is now estella from 'great expectations'

now i have a question for you all, about your levels of tolerance for other people, and their stupidity or whatever

do you find yourself more tolerant or less tolerant of other people and their personal 'quirks' as you get older?
i think in many ways i am much less tolerant- a case in point, yesterday someone was to have come over my house for me to do them a favor...they never showed up nor called... i got a PM last night- that since i didn't call THEM, they didn't come, besides they had a bad day.....!
can i do it for them today or tomorrow
now the deal was.....i did this favor for them, they helped me plant garlic, (which i actually didn't expect them to do as it is actual work) and i am thinking that the garlic planting had something to do with them not bothering

here is my thing, i think that if you want a favor, you show up when it is most convienent for the person doing it for you.....
or does a favor imply inconvience for the one doing it?
while ordinarily i don't mind doing something for someone, i do mind when i feel imposed on

as a side note, this particular person asks for favors a lot....swears she is going to 'help me'
i hear 'let me help you' regularly..... but have yet to seen her show up to help
this happens a lot around here
i hear offers of help a lot but no actual help ever seems to happen.
 so i figured i would ask you all

what do you think of this ???
what's your experiences?
(also if you post i will answer in the comments ok?)
i really would like to get a dialog going here about this if we can.......since this is something that puzzles me

6 comments:

  1. Now wait. This person (essentially) had an appointment with you for you to do something and this person would then help you plant the garlic. And the person just didn't show up? Wonder if the person treats medical appts that way -- you know, the kind where they charge you if you don't show up or contact them ahead of time to cancel. Or other appts -- car repair, accountants, whatever. What a strange thing to do to someone who was going to do a favor in exchange for some garden assistance. I just think it's strange. I don't think I'd offer the favor again.

    OK, back to work now.

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  2. yup, but that's ok, i am planting garlic..... did i mention i got a LOT of garlic to plant..hours and days worth of planting garlic and hauling dirt out there then mulching it with hay and leaves......
    i figured this person wouldn't show up when there was real work to be done...good thing too cause i think all i would hear is how much pain she's in..........

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  3. I think I would suddenly be too busy to do favors for her anymore. You could either be subtle about it, inventing excuses, or you could just tell her you are too busy to make plans with someone who doesn't show up, depending on your relationship with her. You're probably better off not having her help plant the garlic, you probably would have had to re-do it anyway.

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  4. so do you guys find yourself less tolerant as you get older?
    i won't be doing her any favors vicki, i doubt i will hear from her.....after all i didn't do her sewing for her!

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  5. I am not sure I would say I am less tolerant. . . maybe just a little smarter about recognizing when someone is taking advantage of me. Other things I find I am more tolerant. Like the two little girls who were picking pears off my tree and taking bites out of them, but the pears were green, so they didn't taste good. They came to the door and confessed, and I really wasn't that bothered by it. When I was younger it would have driven me nuts, and I probably would have really chewed them out for it. But when we planted a pear tree in the front yard, that all the neighborhood kids walk past on the way to school, I knew there could be problems. But since we pick the pears green, I figured that would minimize the problems. When I found a couple of pears on the ground with bites out of them, I chuckled, thinking that those bites weren't very pleasant. And I appreciated the confessions, that took some courage. Maybe the difference is that children kind of are still learning to know better, and adults should know better than to treat people that way, so it is more maddning to have someone treat you rudely when they are an adult and should have learned better by now.

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  6. vicki, that would have made me laugh, but that's wonderful that those kids confessed. (did you invite them back for when the pears ARE ripe?)

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vi