Monday, April 17, 2006

Long ago and far away

When I was growing up........
I remember that the people in my family and neighborhood were very interconnected.
Uncle John Langfinger used to come over for coffee in the morning....
at night during warm weather the neighbors would take turns gathering on someone's porch talking and laughing from after supper until after dark.......
My relatives visited every weekend and sometimes during the week as well.

If someone needed help........they ALL rushed to help, family and friends.
I called neighbors Aunt and Uncle and there was very little difference between the two.

Everyone talked at least daily, over the fence........ on the stoop....... while drinking coffee at the kitchen table.

I remember when our well ran dry......... Weezie and Uncle John dropped a hose to our house.....then Uncle John helped dad sink a new well.

EVERYONE was like this..

so my sense of family, friends and community means a LOT of contact.
Now I am sort of far geographically from whomever is left so instead of setting on the stoop
I call.

recently I was criticized for this by one person I know.
As I will call her the same time every day and have coffee with her on the phone.

She implied that this is a fault somehow on my part......
I disagree.

I am more and more seeing people disconnected, families not close...people not knowing their neighbors.
I see society tumbling apart
Folks don't care about other folks............ giving the excuse that 'is none of my business'

I also think we as humans are much poorer for this mind set.

Even when we lived in the apartment before moving up here to pa, neighbors regularly gathered on someones stoop.........
we had communal picnics in the center green of the apartment complex.

folks helped each other.

I am being told I am 'co-dependant'

no
I am old fashioned and human.

I believe that people need the daily connection to build a sense of communitee.......
I believe that only by helping each other, and sharing day to day life will people keep their humaness.

I don't believe that it always has to be in person............
I do however think it is very important to spend the time with the people you care about.
even if it is just over the phone........


let me ask you all...........
you know what I think.........
what do you think?


til next time

vi

6 comments:

  1. hey vi! I know exactly what you're saying, and I'm only 22. Sometimes I call my mom just to talk, and she always asks me what I 'want'! I want my mom to talk to me, duh! I miss the days of visiting with neighbors & things... I'm looking forward to living in NZ as they're still very much like this :)

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  2. i think what has happened is that we've reduced ourselves to those we are like. why be chummy with the freak down the street, when you can call up all kinds of friends online. i think that, while our "online" lives are richer, we're ignoring the ones in our back yards. that "freak" may have the same political opinions, or be a knitter, despite the fact that they mow their lawn once a month, and they have a sign up in the back yard that says "beware of pit bull."

    i don't know my neighbors' names, but i'm not unwilling to say "howdy" as i travel to and fro, and am not afraid to tell them when their boys are digging up the asphalt in the alley (i did that last summer, lol). i won't discipline their kids, but i will go to the parents, if i think they're doing wrong.

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  3. You`re a tribal person, Vi, that`s all. ;-)

    (And thank you for the Easter e-card, btw. Pretty! )

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  4. I think you're right, Vi. I come from a small town where about 90% of my dad's side of the family lives. If you sneezed near the grain elevator, someone down by the church would yell "God bless you!" We still have Plow Days, where all the farmers get together and help plow over each other's fields, and if you ever need help, the entire town will be there. I really do miss it!

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  5. Vi, remember you may be judging by a tiny, tiny percentage of the world. Most of the world is still like it was then, but it is the third world not the wealthy countries. And within those first world countries like ours there is no lack of neighborliness nad small town community. It is also on an individual basis. I notice that my chickens-in-the-yard draw folks even though I live in a mobile on my own lot in an associated community. Still people yearn for that friendliness. We need it more now than ever. It has become so scarey in the bigness and pushiness of the world, both the large scale things we can't seem to affect and therefore huddle together, and in the seeming separation of people as if we were doomed to be strangers living next to each other because there are so many of us and so much mobility in the society. Well, you see I've thought about this a lot also...
    I just follow the ways of my family and try to connect whenever I can. Trusting and being kind as much as I can makes me happy.

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  6. I think too many people ignore the neighbors then blame them for not being friendly
    Everyone is afraid of getting involved if there is too much personal contact crazy!
    I totally agree with yoU!

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vi