not a shy violet: 08/01/2005

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Into the wilds of NJ

Tomorrow I venture forth...............
into the wilds of Sussex county to have an mri
.

I hope that my filling are safe in my teeth.........
.

they tell me it will take about 1 hour 45 minutes
.

I think they really should give me drugs
they don't think so
.
I can't even SLEEP for 1 hour 45 minutes straight....let alone lie on a hard board thingy and have a machine move over me.
.
what if my already annoying bladder starts up?
how about the 'gastric' upsets that this med gives me.......
1 hour 45 minutes?
I can't even sit STILL for 2 whole minutes........................
.
I get really bored......
.
they told me I could bring some CD's
all I have are John Edward meditation CD's, or medieval dance music........ oh and the harry potter DVD...............
( well they ARE all the same size and shape right?)
.
I also need to remember to eat before I go .........
damn that one is hard to remember, but being on the metformin I have to or I get sick now.
ok lets see..what else?
.
.
I am hard at work.......but a piece of wire has stymied me.
the piece of wire is for the legs of the new set of dolls, and I can't cut the wire...........
Bernie forgot the entire weekend to cut the wire, even though he was the one that suggested it in first place.....
.
oh and speaking of bernie, he informs me that he has a three day weekend......yeah !!
we can go and get my chicks!
I need to get me a brooder as well..
and chick starter.
oh and grit without calcium............
and a cardboard box......
hmmmmmmm......
maybe they all need little suitcases as well?
little red plaid suitcases and tiny polka dot scarves?
.
.
wish me luck
til next time
vi

Monday, August 29, 2005

late breaking news from the FAIR ***PICTURES

I got three first place ribbons
and two third............
I think I put the pumpkin folk in the wrong catagories and that's why I got thirds on them
I don't know what I got on my bag yet
woo hoo
vi

ok here are the winners........
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

ah........ I don't know if I have a picture of the porcelain doll ......but I will take one when she gets home....
the pumpkin folk you all know about as they are the Potiron family.......

now I need to do the one for the STATE fair.........
I better get a blue out of that next one
hmmmmmmm
vi
gees........I keep coming back like a fungus

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Ok ok I really am alive

I have been making pumpkin people, getting ready for the fair.......
good thing that they are 14 inches high cause there are body parts all over the studio
.
.
battling the side effects from the meds I'm on....... ( gastric upset my ass.....my poor hemorrhoid is NOT happy)
.
I turned the insurance company into the state for non payment..... they are driving me nuts
I have so many problems with them that I can't get them to fix I figured they needed someone with some muscle to presuade them.
.
Saturday we went to take the dolls to the fair.
I took up five
plus a pockabook........ ( that is jersey for handbag)
.
we have to retrieve them on Sunday and any ribbons or money I won will be Sunday as well.
The Judging was today and during the week Kris is going up to see how she & I did.
.
let's see.....
I measured my neck and lost almost 2 inches in circumference!!!!!!! I need to loose a bit more to wear my smaller necklaces comfortably.......but WOO HOO.......
hahahaha
I swear that Mengele is a miracle worker.....I really wonder what she can do with my ass and thighs .......................mmmmmmmmm
if I give her the chain saw???????
.
.
.
Thaddeaus is daddy's little darlink lately..........
who cleans his ears?
mommy
who cuts his toenails?
mommy
who feeds him?
mommy
who gives him his meds?
mommy
who brushes him?
mommy
who remembers his shots?
mommy
who notices when he doesn't feel well?
mommy
who does he LOVE?????????????
DADDY
.
.
you don't want to hear what I am saying about them right now........
.
.
now as to the others..
well little calpurrnia decided that while mommy and daddy were 'visiting' each other.........she would just walk acrossed their enjoined bodies........
ah.....mmmmmm
Calpurrnia..... what the hell are you doing in here right now???

( calpurrnia) blink blink...
Calpurrnia get offa us!!!!!!!!!

So she decided to sit on the edge of the bed and WATCH everything.........
damn cat.
.
.
Fawn the GOOD cat.........slept on the hope chest and ignored us.....
oh man....
.
.
meanwhile I am listing stuff on ebay, which I haven't done in a while.
.
ok this week is an mri and then next week the doctor and probably the week after megele again

well chicklets that is about it right now............
I will post pictures of the new work as I get them done
.
til next time
vi

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Potiron *** family

***Potiron is pumpkin in FRENCH
hahahaha
Babe is going to be next ......or as the family calls him.....'lil sprout'
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

ok guys....watcha think???
vi

Worrying the chicken

as you all know, or would know if you read this blog.....
we are to get chickens.....
more specifically CHICKS
6 of em
even though I don't WANT 6
they come by either 6 or 25..........( who the hell figured out THOSE numbers????????? a dyslexic math challenged brainiac?.......never mind)
So they tell me half will be BOYS.........we don't WANT boys, as they make NOISE....
( yes ALL males are annoying like that....human, animal............. Extraterrestrial.......they got testosterone they are annoying like that)
But that is 'OK, CAUSE we will take them back when they crow, we won't however GIVE YOU A REFUND'
gee they will be about 10 weeks old......... broiler size...........hmmmmmmm
what is the fate of male chickens that no one wants.........?

BARBECUE sauce and a rotiserie.........

with a side of slaw......

yes I see where I am going to raise chickens for someone else's dinner...............
NOPE

ok my dilemma is
where do I KEEP all six babies while they are under the grow light...... ( it is actually a HEAT lamp but hey)
I can't let HIS highness the imperially fluffy MR THADDEAUS Peabody......... or his great great grannie, FAWN anywhere's near them......or we will have 6 DEAD and dismembered chickens.....

I can't keep them in the basement NOR outside.....
( that would be like a bit of a chicken nugget for the hawk........ three day old baby chicks and there ARE 6 of them........just like a FAMOUS fast food joint huh? only for raptors, with fly IN service......... WHAT kind of sauce would you like with that there mrs hawk????)

I have boxes and an X pen.........
or an old aquarium, but these little birdies are going to get BIG.........
orpingtons are one of the 3 BIGGEST breeds of chickens...... ( just so the soup pot isn't lonely incase we get ALL roosters.......... vi-heartless bitch)

so anyone have ANY ideas that will help me here
please please post them to comments...........????

oye
how do I get myself into these things Ethel?

vi

Monday, August 22, 2005

this insurance is killing me

they paid the physical therapy claim
they took it back
paid it
took it back
paid it
took it back
paid it
took it back
paid it
took it back
paid it
took it back
paid it
took it back
.
are you as sick of this shit as I am???
.

I turned them into the state insurance commission
.
.
I've had it
EVERY single freeken bill they tell me I went out of network......I did not
they try to charge me 500........and then they don't pay it
.
I do NOT have high blood pressure when I started trying to get this crap all paid.........
AND
.
we pay 100.00 a WEEK for this insurance..........
doing the math.........
we are paying through the nose.
.

vi is soon to be dead
.

and the autopsy report will read
.

DEATH by insurance company

I swear that my CATS could run the insurance company better, and I swear Larry, Moe and CURLY are the ones in charge of my insurance company........

just remember at my funeral...

the insurance company did me in........

Saturday, August 20, 2005

All is quiet on the violet front

THANK GOODNESS
I cleaned the kitchen a bit....... ok so I did an archeological dig in the kitchen......ya happy now?
I am not saying that I rarely clean.......
ok so I AM saying that I suppose....
but it isn't actually dirty, it is just VERY VERY cluttered.
.

hey what do you want, it's a small house, no closets and NO kitchen countertops
.

No shit......no counter tops........ yes yes I DO sleep with my contractor however did you know that bernie was 'doing' the kitchen????
He is also 'doing' the hallway, soaproom and library....... as well as making a stab at the studio......and putting a FENCE up in the front of the house........
.
Not doing too well with it all you say???
.
yea I know, but he is really really cute and has an ass you can bounce a quarter off.......
(we won't tell him he is a little stud muffin ok??? I am happier if he doesn't actually REALIZE that)
ok where was I ?
ah......... what's going on.....
.

big

fat

nothing!!!!

nice huh? for a change.
the mentsruation tide has turned............ I am much happier.......
at least until.................
.

hushed voice

.
.

OVULATION
.
.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOO NOT ovulation........ please say it ain't so
I am still thinking females get a partial dirty deal here.
I mean it is all cool and all the way we fill out a sweater....... but some of the side effects of that whole sweater filling out thing are kinda hard to live with.
.
now on to wildlife.....NO not the moron neighbors....
they been doing the whole WARD & JUNE cleaver thing and I for one have found it really scary!
no one is going OFF of the property there......
who the hell is going to pay the bills?
oh man
and they are swimming in the green pool........ewwwwwww
.
ok enough of the freak show
I was talking about actual wild life.
specifially the deer.
.
we went over the mountain to get cat food, litter and some groceries for us.
if we saw one deer we must have seen 15 per MILE going over the mountain, and it is about 14 miles to go.
That is a shit pot load of deer................
one big ass buck meandered across the road............. I didn't see his head but I did see his shoulders........ talk about loaded shoulders.
I saw a littler pointer buck who thought he was ALL that..
hahahah
he was so cute....... ah............. I mean stagly and stately ( he thinks he is a hunk 'O' deer, shhhh don't tell him he is a little boy yet)
.
In feline notes
Thaddeaus Peabody is getting his bath tomorrow........
everyone had thier little toes clipped.......and is it me or is Thaddeaus getting even BIGGER daily?
his paws look like lion paws to me now.
damn that cat is big.
little Calpurrnia and Gramma Fawn have tiny little paws and tiny little nails....
not the big boy......... he has him some big ass talon claws.......
wicked strong to cut too....
but I loves me some big boy Thaddeaus..........
even though today he was in NO mood to have his feet touched.
not after I cleaned his ears.............................
nope he was not a happy camper.
Fawn laughed at him ....................
then it was her turn
hahahahaha
Calpurrnia hid
smart girl for one we keep thinking is so dumb but beautiful huh?

ok til next time
vi

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I am closing comments for a while

I have been getting a ton of comment spam
so I am going to close the comments for a while folks.
you all can email me if you need to
vi

just flying around

I dreamt I was flying last night

I was flying around the bedroom

the bedroom had bright yellow walls

the bedroom really has eggnog colored walls

I had a blast flying around

I stuck my tongue out at thaddeaus, who was enviously watching me fly around the room

nanananana

I am on the ceiling thaddeaus, and you are NOT.......

hahahahaha

FLYING around........ not a care in the world

just flying from corner to corner in my room

.
.
ok tomorrow I am going to the FARM
yeah
I miss my goaties and sheepies
I am going to see my pony princess...
love me some goaties and sheepies and miss my pony.......
It is Carole's birthday, she is 48.................... she is much YOUNGER then me........
anyway, I can't wait to see her too.
.
I have decided on an A frame chicken tractor, and I am going to build it myself........ with a bit of help maybe from either bernie or kris.........
but maybe just by myself if I feel well enough.
.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DO NOT tell Mengele........
she will have a fit, as anything I do now SHE will have to undo when I finally get back to her.
.

ok the chicken house, I think that 2.5 feet wide by 8 feet long and 3.5 feet high to the peak is good........ with the actual coop above them as that would make them less visible to nosy moron's.
and would still fit through the basement door if I needed to keep them inside during really really bad weather.......... no?
I need some metal feed bins for their food.
I also am going to put WHEELS on the back at least, if not also on the front..........
I think I need some tent stakes too, for when it is out on the slope by my garden.
.
I may just pitch a smallish tent out there to shade my birds from hawks and the moron neighbors while they fertilize, weed, and turn my garden beds.
.
I really need a couple goats here right now to clear out the brush out back.
hmmmmmmmmmm..
if moron does leave soon I will lease the goats and let them clear the back tract.............
I will see if I can get a temporary permit to have them clear the land.
hahaha
oye
ok I am not quite alive yet
but soon
probably after seeing my goaties and sheepies tomorrow
til next time
vi

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The saga continues..........

now we have a lot to cover so pay attention my beloved chicklets.
( and remind me if I forget anything)

UPDATES

Moron neighbors : apparently at the moment elle mae is trying to appease her soon to be former penis ( the legally? wedded one) Meanwhile back at the 'sty o lust' , current penis continues to lay low.......( did I just SAY THAT?) while moving out as fast as he can. HIS neighbors wanted the soon to be former penis to run over that trailer with the dump truck as it smells......... really really bad, like dead bodies, even when the windows are NOT opened.....
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
I really don't like the pictures that is bringing up do you?
oh and their pool is a lovely glow in the dark shade of GREEN.

The Chicken Project: Progress is being made, as I found a Buff Orpington breeder right over by CAROLE's house!!!
All I need to do is make a chicken tracker, get some metal feed bins, some chicken feeders/waterers and we are in business.........so to speak. These will be pets that will help cultivate the garden and fertilize the soil, and give us eggs all year round.
I think three is the right number, don't you?

Our furry family: Amber isn't as senile as I thought, she is just doing her bit to piss me off. She tried to pee in the living room, I caught her and asked her

'what the hell are you doing?'

SHE RAN to the litter box, jumped in and peed in there....
Senile my patoot.........
she is trying to kill me.
it is as simple as that.
.
Calpurrnia told the mouse exterminator that he was her daddy.......... good thing her REAL daddy didn't see that......or Calpurrnia would be back sleeping in the living room without her own comfy mommy pillow.
Mommy would not like it either.
Fawn could not be reached for comment as she was too busy telling off Thaddeaus' knocked up squirrel girlfriend off.
Thaddeaus is watching Wilbur the ground hog out back.
.
My monthly: Full blood has arrived along with the assorted aches, pains, annoyances and irritations that entails.
I am officially engaged to the porcelain goddess upstairs in the bathroom now.... I mean I am spending so much time there that I may as well be.

WARNING

don't piss me off as there is a broom with your name on it.......who ever you maybe....
But I will be fine in a day or so........
after my entire lower body drops off into the sea.
( one could hope can't one?)
.

Anyway, the actually accomplishment of any real work at this 'special' time is a freeken joke as I can't remember shit .......( there is a pun somewheres in that statement) and my legs won't hold me up even if I could remember what the hell I was trying to do........
.
THANK goodness for having cooked ahead like I did.........cause we all would have starved if I didn't.
.
.
.
the dolls: are coming along.......... of course everything comes to a screaching halt when the 'MONTHLY" shows up, but in a day or so I will be back at work........
until then you all should be sending me cheesecake..
sniff

Knitting news: I am half way done with the 'wonderful wallaby' it is going to be for the yarn store as a sample and also as a support for one of the sweater classes there, the one I will be teaching......
I have discovered teaching is a lot of fun......... and I get to be a real smart ass and no one throws tomatoes at me.........ha.........

ok that is all she wrote
til next time
vi

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I didn't die** WARNING mature content

so you all get back in your seats....
there is no inheritance YET....
( gimme a few more days of this new med and maybe)
.
.
.
now onto other news.....
my new reason to LIVE
.
.
.

The moron neighbor show.

Starring....... Moron neighbor aka, soon to be former penise

The boyfriend aka current penise.

and Elle Mae, *** names are all changed to protect the guilty.

It is like a regular soap opera here lately,

I keep hearing 'old mcdonald had a farm' only the new words are

''and a cheat cheat here and a cheat cheat there'

well actually I could care less who is boffing whom...... ( is that currect grammer for this situation?)

I mean if it aint me doing the boffing or being the boffee....... I really don't care who is boffing whom.

however

I do care about moron neighbor NOT living next door..........

which is what appears to be going on.........

so that for me is great

no more dog feces over the fence,

no more dog barking ALL DAY

no more worries about bulldozers in my yard,

no more worries about bulldozers running over me.

and most of all

NO MORE WORRIES ABOUT my TREES being cut down

I am ready to dance nekid in the moonlight........ (thud, thud........... the sound of owls turning to salt and falling out of the sky)

Now before they do leave however I do intend to fling their dog feces back over the fence.... preferably flaming. I think a medieval seige engine is just the thing for that no?

I also intend to get the lawn chairs and the popcorn, for the final showdown.

(REALITY TV? beat this!!!!)

I am also hoping that the pool they put up without a filter, that is about 4 feet tall by 12 feet across doesn't wash out my fence out back when it falls down or he runs it over with his bulldozer. ( that would be HIS penis extention no? the bulldozer?)

Ok now enough of my happiness

FAST studio updates,

BIG little pumpkin headed guy is done. I need to take final pictures of him and he can go to his new home, his sister is partially done.

I got some new yarn.........and the 2nd stitch treasurey by Barbara walker...... ( I had the first since 74)

I got more classes scheduled........

AND

after moron neighbor LEAVES forever............ I plan on getting some CHICKENS...... yup here not at the farm.

In a little Chicken tractor.

just enough for us and the neighbors to have EGGS.

buff orpington chickens here I come.

shhhhhhhhhhhh

we won't tell the town.......

I mean moron neighbors had over 60 rabbits in one tiny hutch, they were 'pets'

yeah I don't eat my pets, do you?

I can have pet chickens........

RARE BIRDS I say..............

well have YOU seen a buff orpington lately???

til later

ps: due to the overwhelming curiosity ( or nosiness of you all....)

ella mae has had current penis for about 2 years, the newest spawn is probably his, but she isn't sure.......... (HUH?)

moron has been caught with a 260.00 an hour hooker, when they can't pay the taxes or mortgage........ HE IS smarter then the average road kill you see.

and the star crossed lovers have had to find a new sty as moron tried to go with the dump truck and run them over 'in the act' so to speak.

gee talk about getting in deep.

Friday, August 12, 2005

How hot does it have to get?

to melt this fat offa me?
I had to go to NJ again today for a carotid artery scan.....( they wanted to see if my elevator goes all the way to the top....... be advised it doesn't)
.
Now it has been hot, no news there..... the entire North American continent has a heat wave right? ( and if you are IN North America and are NOT having a heat wave......... BITE ME)
.
So me driving down to NJ in a OLD truck with leather seats, on a LARGE 4 lane interstate, no Air conditioning, on the HOTTEST day of the year to see if I have blood flow to the BRAIN.........
doesn't exactly make SENSE now does it?
.
.
OBVIOUSLY, the above statement proves that the blood flow is stopped somewheres near the ankles or so...... right? NONE of it is reaching my brain.
Cause if I was in my RIGHT mind, I would NOT have GONE....... duh..........
or at least I would have made someone ELSE who has AIR CONDITIONING DRIVE..........
.
.
.
.
so what is this all about???
.
.
.

My FAT

I can not understand how it is possible for it to NOT have melted off on the way down....
.
.
I mean, when you fry bacon at even HALF the heat that was out there today, it shrivels up and the fat turns in to a clear liquid that you pour off and dump in the garbage right????
Isn't that the WAY fat is supposed to behave?
what do I have?

super fat?

fat that only melts at the temperature of MARS or Jupiter?
( is Jupiter hot btw?-what do I know..I've never been there)

Is there some sort of ADDITIVE that is preventing the melting of this fat in this extreme heat?

Can't I cut a break here ANYWHERE?

Goodness knows I sweated enough........

I stuck to the seat

I turned magenta with the heat

I had HIGH blood pressure for the first time.

( add all that to my icepick injuries and you have a VERY unhappy camper........... but I did get yarn today so I am a bit better adjusted now)

so's I am just saying...... ( and so's is a WORD if you come from NEW JERSEY)

what's it take to melt the pounds off?

or do I really have to get that chain saw out of the basement and do some 'rough carving' first???

inquiring violets want to know

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Almost alive again

Ok let me tell you all first off.
I am STILL dented.
.

and the other thing I have to tell you is I know what it feels like to be stabbed in the back. LITERALLY ........ that doctor stabbed me with that thar ice pick.
Mengele is going to have her hands full when I get back to her
cause I can't get my shoulders out of my EARS right now
I won't tell you about the back..... believe me
better you don't know
.
ok
now onto other items on the list.

.

IPA *** ( *** imminent period arrival)
so again it is almost that special time of the month set aside for one of violet's rants against the joys of being a girl.

.

(WHAT and disappoint you all?)
.
When I was a little girl, and doubled over with cramps that now I know would lay out a defensive lineman.........
I asked my mother
'oh mother
look at all I have to suffer
the bloated pubescent breasts
the rubber legs....... ( not to be confused with the rubber chickens they resemble)
the MOOD swings..........
nose bleeds
general achyness and malaise
not to mention these cramps that make walking impossible.
and the food cravings...... '

( I was a precocious kid what can I say)

'Oh mother......... with all this I have to suffer .........
what do BOYS get'
Yes I really was that naive at that point....... shit I was young.......
.
and my MOTHER ( lieing through her false TEETH....... the bitch)
said to me
.

'never mind dear, they too suffer'
.
now I am an old old lady........ with visible panty lines....... when I am NOT wearing panties.
and the lines on my face match the graining of the leather seats in my van.......
.
and I have discovered that MEN......... don't get ANYTHING
.
.
.
have you recovered????
.
.
.
ok so at about 65 or so they can't get it up and have a problem peeing........
( damn by that time we aren't interested in what they got anyway..... are we?)
.
*** as an ASIDE I did not say we weren't interested at all, just that we were not interested in what a 65 year old had........ now if someone say...... oh.......... 30 or so was available.......... now that could be another story......****
.
.
.
have you gotten your righteous indignation on yet??
.
.
yes my darlink chicklets......
they get off basically scott free
so they lose their hair....... ( ok so everyone but BERNIE........who still has enough hair for 3 people, yeah right....... you all still doubt that 3 Stooges thing huh?- ONE more piece of evidence)

WE get the labor, morning sickness, stretch marks.
WE get the saddlebags, drooping boobs........ varicous veins
WE get mamography, speculums, internals and dowagers humps
and with all this crap.......
WE get to LIVE longer.....
gee thanks
isn't that special

so if they don't drop dead at 49 of heart attacks........ WE get to take care of them in their old age.......
then the little bastards drop dead on us...........
who takes care of US in our old age???

gees all this from a bad case of PMS?
AND I finally have totally realized.....

MOTHER

LIED

and if you can't trust your mother........who can you trust???

til next time
vi is getting a shovel to dig that broad up and scatter her old bones to the crows

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I was impaled with an icepick and then stun gunned

(Mengele click HERE AND HERE)

this is MODERN medicine?
.

what there wasn't a stray voodoo witch doctor around?????????
.
I am sure I would have been MUCH more comfortable with someone shaking bones over my head, even if they had to sacrifice some chicken feathers or something.

.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I get some ICEPICK
test
followed by the STUN GUN test.
.
Invented no doubt by a MAN,........ the same one that invented MAMOGRAPHY...
.
and no one warned me.......sniff
and you all call yourselves my FRIENDS?
sniff
so
here I am, impaled, both arms, one leg and part of my neck and back......
THEN I went to see Mengele.....( that actually was the highlight of my day HIHI June and HIHI Kathy)
ok I have imminent period arrival..... IPA, so I had a san napkin and old clean but ok to be stained undies...... so what does the doc make me do?
lay on my stomach and he sticks pins in my BACK.............
oh
and the best part
every single time he zapped me
and I SCREAMED......
he said he was sorry..........
if he really was FREEKEN sorry he would stop FREEKEN zapping me........
my little body is now all dented where he zapped and stabbed me.....
my arms and legs kicked and contorted all by themselves.....
I am STILL in agony.........
sniff
now Bernie has yet to hear this whole ordeal
( and the first one that feels sorry for Bernie that he didn't get a chance to WATCH......and LAUGH....... may you pee yourself........... )

I can't even give anyone the finger as that finger was impaled and is protesting mightily......
sniff
so is my back, neck......legs.....
actually NOT one FREEKEN spot on my body feels normal

sniff
vi
send cheesecake, icecream, and amazon gift certificates.........

OH OH OH AND one more thing....( OK two)
I am DENTED
yes that's right
all that impalement and stunning dented me!
plus I really think I should have turned them stun gun thingies on his testicles .........no?
ZAP This big boy
damn
vi
who is going to go back to nursing her boo boos with some milk and a peanut butter sandwitch

Lil pumpkin headed guy.....new larger size!

here's him with a body....... no clothes yet however
he is getting ledderhosen.....
hahaha

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

there is his head again
he is going to be a LE of 3
then comes his sister, baby brother..... and momma, poppa, and aunt matilida........
hahahaha
oh man I am having too much fun here
vi

talk to you all after the neurologist

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Been busy with THIS!!!

lil pumpkin head.........

oh and here is a blurry picture of a doe and fawn taken last night
they are out back under the apples
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Due to public outcry

Ok so it was one outcry........someone who shall remain ( Minnie) nameless
that I have yet to post after my rant about getting old.....
.

meanwhile I was busy doing that very thing.....

Snap
Crackle
Pop

Sad really when you wake up sounding like a breakfast cereal........ maybe that is why my husband channels bacon? He hears my Snap, Crackle, Pop and thinks of food???

I sit on the side of the bed in the morning and replace bones back to where they belong before I can even attempt to stand vertically. They make noise........... LOTS of noise.

ok on to my half ass post for MINNIE..........

(you all can blame HER when it isn't all that funny cause I been busy working--- Everyone turn and look at MINNIE and wave now)

I am in the studio, I am working on some pumpkin headed guys...... only bigger ones this time.

I have run into a few snags.

you would think.........( you really would have, iffen you would have been here)

after 40 years of doll making.......

I would remember that really really LARGE things such as LEGS

would not fit through neck openings which are way smaller then they are....

if you don't believe me go look in the mirror.........

hurry now.. we'll wait.

are you back yet? did you see what I mean???

ain't gonna happen without either major surgery or something.....

ok so what does vi do????( dumb ass broad that apparently she is lately?)

sews the legs INSIDE the body..leaving an opening at the neck........

ok so today we have engineering 101.........where in vi re-visits anatomy and construction..
.

( Another Larry, Moe & Curly moment brought to you by ................... whoever is running this end of the universe........ WHY can't I have the publishers clearing house guys running this end......and my CHECK arriving???)

ok so that is on the list today, as well as direction getting for the neurologist tomorrow.....

( where in violet discovers squirrels in her brain pan which would explain a lot)

I tell you all............I really could use a secretary....... cause I also need to explain to the insurance company that they yet again screwed up the medical payments they are to have been making to the doctor and to PT.

I suspect that I need a stun gun to explain to them.................

although they may want to see THAT in triplicate then tell me that it is a duplicate.

So postwise today is light.......

I imagine that after the doctor on wednesday..... that things will pick up a bit?

meanwhile I got three laperms running around here like all the hounds of hell are chasing them......

damned if I know why..

oye

til next time

PS: and for the record.......I woke up with a ZIT on my NOSE.......

they are migrateing and it isn't pretty

Saturday, August 06, 2005

what's a nice old lady like me

doing with acne?
for the first time in my life?
on the BACK of my NECK?????????

HUH?

( over the top of my HUMP no less)

ok so I accepted the decending boobs into footstool thing.

I didn't complain much about when my waist slid down to my ankles...... leaving lumps and bumps all over my thighs on the way down....

and who actually notices GRAY hair when you are loosing ALL your hair.....

the mustache and beard thing...... goes with the menopause that won't FREEKEN PAUSE already.........

And I don't argue I just twist and creak my bones back into place several times aday now..

I avoid raw vegtables if I have to appear in public within a day of eating them. ( ditto on the chinese food)

I wear my orthopedic shoes, and wonder how the hell I ever wore them 'candi' shoes when I was cute.

I actually do USE my reading glasses

I am looking forward to collecting social security and again being adorable and cute in grown peoples eyes.......

but I draw the line at acne.............. on the BACK of my neck over my HUMP......( wouldn't you??)

oh and the off handed comment from bernie doesn't help much.....

'it isn't nothing but a ZIT'

yet I am still married to him and he is still walking around BREATHING!

so I didn't break his legs or strangle him

( gee bernie I didn't mean to put this here broom in the way of you going off in the dark to the bathroom in the middle of the night....... how many stairs DID you fall down???......... BOTH legs you say??? ........... can I pick the color of the casts?......I'm here for you dear.)

now I want to see the owners manual, I am NOT kidding around.

I want to talk to customer service and I want to know WHERE in the owners manual it says.........

MAY develope acne prior to DEATH??????????????

hello??

excuse me

who wrote this stupid ass book???

Lemme talk to someone in charge I don't want any smart ass gum chewing clerk with perky boobs either.....

I want to talk to someone OLDER then me who understands......

someone who knows the thud you hear every morning about 5 minutes after you get out of bed is your ass hitting the floor and following you.........

someone who looks in the mirror and has SEEN their dead mother.......... and not realized they are looking at themself.

someone who has to get up at night 75 TIMES an hour cause their bladder is the size of a pea, and apparently they drank Lake Ontario before they went to bed.........

someone who knows the JOYS of night sweats.................

Someone who almost considered a duct tape bra to slow the decend into hell..

Someone that knows that the senior citizen specials really are a very good deal.......

AND

I want that person to show me the twit that designed old age...........

because I want to beat the living crap out of them and leave them for dead on the side of the road with my acne and hump strewn over thier limp body, with a broomstick enima to remind them I am serious..........

if I actually remember

next time

Friday, August 05, 2005

just a glorified cat pillow

as I sit here and attempt to type this entry, I have amber sitting on my chest.
( she is so old she weighs a feather so it isn't the lung crushing experience that Thaddeaus is)
I realized that mostly, for all the things I do
all the accomplishments in my life....
I am really just a glorified cat pillow.
complete with internal heater.

This comes as a new idea to me......
imagine that......
however the cats have apparently known this forever.....and taken me for granted.

they are cold.....they lay on mommy......
tired,.... mommy
feeling under the weather...forget the chicken soup....... we got mom!

I began to get an inkling of this today while trying to knit a smoke ring in iris...... ( a neck thingy in a purplish color for the knitting impared) I kept having to gently remove (by twisting sideways and jumping up......) one of the four felines that decided that I needed 'company'

FINALLY they settled for hanging out on the back or arms of the sofa and giving me vile looks....

wonderful I get contempt from the cats.......

( hey you feline fur faces......... let me remind you WHO opens the cat food cans????????? and it ain't DADDY)

I also realized that I spend almost 24/7 with four cats............ I spend about 3 hours quality time per day with Bernie...... the rest is with the cats.....
It's a wonder I am not hocking up hairballs myself.......

well as long as I am not attempting to use the litter pan and covering it up I imagine I am still safe

til next time

For our Beloved La Bella Mengele

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I am STILL alive

like a timex.......... I am still ticking!
I drove to NJ in the heat without air conditioning in Bernie's truck.
right there you have to wonder if I am all there in my mind........

on the HOTTEST day of the year so far......I am driving at 1:30 in the AFTERNOON, so in the hottest time of the day as well....... down to an even HOTTER state.......

however it was all worth it...
I have good news.
because I have fought this disease so hard, watching to stay on a high protein low carb diet....
excersizing, and not eating processed foods I only need metformin & the other one....spirlactin?
NOT the chemical cocktail that normally PCOS patients get.
and NO hormones.......!!!
yeah!
I do have to take extra fiber daily before dinner and then take my meds AFTER.

We are hoping to see a decrease in the visible symptoms.
meanwhile I am continuing on my pt excersizes........ ( Can't let our beloved la bella mengele down now can we???)

So todays little preview of hell actually was a very good thing.

ok Cat news......
there isn't any! the bad boy of our little laperm universe decided that it was too hot to get into trouble!
my ladies are respectable today as well. Although great granny Fawn continues to be her active little self.. She is so cute when she hangs from the cat tree by one paw.......... our little monkey...hahahahaha

ah..................
peace reigns in our tiny abode.

knitting news,
I cast on for the 'smoke ring' from heartstrings in Alpaca cloud from Knit picks in the Iris color way.
I am using size 9 needles as it didn't look like it would be big enough on size 6......
gee I hope I am right about that. I seem to remember that someone said theirs was too small in lace weight.
however I am thinking of doing a second one in either dk or fingering.

In neighbor news.....
it looks like the neighbor that has been causing all the trouble and we are sueing is indeed going to be moving on if his wife has any say............... YEAH cause since he has been here he has caused us over 10,000. in damages to our property alone......

life is indeed looking up from my current vantage point.

and I go BACK to the doctor at halloween!

meanwhile I am free to work and start my medicine..
next week is the neurologist........and then we get me a new warrenty!
til next time
vi

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

where in violet pulls her arm off......

ok first off MENGELE was here!!! ( June, you can also drop an email... click over on the email thingy and take out the inappropriate things and replace with normal email thingies.. @ and a .************* oh and I left a voice mail for you)
damn and I missed her.....
she was here at the blog......
( yes mengele dear, I can see that if I remember to look.......)
you know I do miss you so you can call.......
and tell them Fairlawn girls to call also.... (KATHY has the phone number you know.....oh and Kathy you better miss me too big time.......hahahahahaha)
I may try and stop in when I go to the neurologist......

Ok I have been again having a bit to shoulder trouble but I discovered if I hold onto the door way and stretch and lean................ it loosens up a bit and I can do my excersizes.........
( that earthquake you all just heard was our beloved la bella mengele dropping in a faint)

ok
now my next project is a OLD OLD woman doll........ she will be all in light colors......( what's up with that whole light colored thing lately????)
I am trying to figure out how I am going to do her now....... needlesculpt or maybe with either a clay or what?
I don't have time to do it in porcelain as this will be also entering the fair august 20.

I don't know if I mentioned it but I got juried into Art of the Doll.... that made me very happy as it is all original artists.
ok now it is time for dinner.... Bernie is making sandwhiches so I am setting on my fat ass typing this
but HEY I did clean half the living room today.......so that has to count for something no?

hahaha
vi
who tomorrow will be off to meet the vampire doctor and be drained of all her pints.......

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Where in violet takes a picture

Here is the finished Halloween doll..... She looks totally different from what I had first envisioned however I went with what she wanted to be......***

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

the furry flank you may see in the left side of the picture......is Thaddeaus'
he decided that he needed to help me as obviously I did NOT know what I was doing.
one second after the picture was taken he tried to eat the little cat...
I took it away from him and informed he that cannibalism would not be tolerated here.

*** violet has finally lost it and the nuts and squirrels in her head have taken over.... send cheesecake

Ok on the furry side of the family, Fawn has decided that necterines are a cats best friend..... better then catnip even....
Calpurrnia is getting a thing for bleach... ( you really don't want to know......but no one was hurt)

And Thaddeaus scared the crap out of a client when he WALKED down the stairs..........

Her comment?

"CRAP he is HUGE"

yes he really is as big as I say he is......all 20 pounds of romping stomping solid feline muscle.......
he can reach up about 42 inches as well........
and he reaches up when I am at the computer and taps me on the top of the head.....
so he is Big AND a smart ass...........

but you all knew that about our favorite bad boy cat........( visions of little motorcycle jackets and tattoos of catnip plants MUST dance in his head)

ok now
tomorrow is the endo.......
they will drain my blood and replace with sawdust.........
you all feel sorry for me ok???
send gift certificates to knitpicks and amazon............****

**** and this is funny cause WHERE to send them is unknown........
hahahahaha
ok til next time for real
vi