There should be a constitutional amendment

and it should cover women's dressing room.........
lighting and mirrors.
first off you need a MAGIC mirror in there......
and one that hopefully makes object appear much smaller....... say maybe 150 pounds smaller?????

can anyone guess what I did today? (which really was yesterday when you read this)

yup

clothes shopping.......
ewwwwwwww ranks right up there with do it yourself root canal..........

ok so I have the deposition on Monday and needed something other then the jeans/tee shirts I live in.........
so I girded my loins..................
( that probably should read ..........LOONS)

and Diane from up the hill and I ventured out in my rattled trap van to Allentown to the mall.

did you all know that Lane Bryant stores do NOT have dresses........
all they got is hoochi momma tramp clothes............ewwwwwwwwwww
oh yeah........ that is what I really want to wear........
hang ALL my rolls bumps and grinds out for all the universe to see.....
yeah
right
not in this life
not until I am at my goal weight.............in 100 years.....

all I wanted was a nice 'church' lady type dress..........
in rayon.......
maybe blue?
and two jackets, one short sleeve in a lighter color
one longer sleeved in a darker color!
10 stores later..........
I was ready to cry or at least go postal.........

I did finally get the one dress in the one store that actually FIT me and didn't look like Omar the tent makers clearance rack..........
and I also got a short sleeve cardigan sweater that looks like a jacket, in a lighter color
and a LONGER sleeved cardigan sweater in a DARKER color..........!!!!!!!!
but not in blue.....
in PURPLE
so I am a very happy camper.........
amazingly enough huh?
I was so thrilled that I handed over my plastic and didn't even look at the total.......
desperation set in you see
I suddenly got scared that this magical garment and it's little jacket sweaters would disappear into the poof of smoke and wishes that I was so sure it was.......

leaving me with a muumuu in tropical colors................. and a christmas tree shape......

ok now fast forward as I had typed the above last night..................
to this morning.........

I discovered that the dress and it's little jackets were hanging quietly up in the soap room.......
perfect and pristine in the little plastic clothing bag they wrapped them in.......

I even discovered a pair of purple shoes upstairs......... they match!
so if I can't find the sandals I am looking for....... I have something to put on my feet..
and the mice only ate a tiny part of the shoes which you can't see from the outside
(insert sigh here.......... damn uninvited mouse guests.....)

now I am going to swear..
on my curly cats collective heads............
I will not let the state of my wardrobe get this bad again.............................
I WILL occasionally buy a dress/jacket thingy............... even though I have no place in mind to wear it.
I WILL keep at least TWO business/career outfits in the closet......in classic styles....... at all times.......


I WILL not continuously refer to my body as the Willendorff goddess even though I SOOOOOOOOO do look exactly like that stature of pre-historic fertility.....
( or maybe it was a pre-historic advertizement for their version of CURVES?)

and btw the way while we are at it........
Them damn dressing rooms need artic level air conditioning....... I swear......
fat old broads sweating and trying on clothing is NOT a pretty picture at all....
and I got to see me doing just that in THREE freeken full size, full length, freek house mirrors.

To say I was tramatized was to say the least........

sniff

oye
til next time

vi
who is feeling much better now
if I can ONLY find the sandals I need.........I am good