the woodpecker

ok this happened a bit ago.... but it is fixing to happen again I see..... so I figured I would tell you all about my adventures on the roof....with the woodpecker........ or several woodpeckers... now let me start by telling that Bernie ( Mr. NO MORE ANIMALS) likes to feed the birds outside.....he feels so sorry for the little flying flea bags....*oops* that reminds me.....brb.....I gotta fill their little feeder.....damn beggers......

***elevator muzak***

......................ok back.....brr it is cold out there.... ok where was I ...... yea them flying feathered flea bags..... ok so he feeds the birds..... and I render suet for them little monsters and mix it with peanut butter and bird seed and some raisins well when you do that in this area you get a couple of woodpeckers.....I mean a couple of species....one is HUGE.... one is tiny...and one is a bit bigger....... and they bring their familys....... now when I finish filling their greedy little gullets these filthy little beggars repay me by pecking the crap out of my house.... (the studio part, which is wooden.... the main is stone and they would get a head ache in their beady little brains from pecking that) anyway, as my house is very old..... (termites holding hands and dancing are holding it up....) I feel the need to defend it against these flying feathered fleabags...... normally I use my broom and pound the hell of the walls.....they usually move on.......but every once in a while...... some cheeky bugger will decide to go on the ROOF of my poor beleagured studio..... just beyond the reach of my trusty broom......... then drastic measures are called for.... I must go up upon the roof...................... now of course.... bird brains being what they are....... this damn bird picks the bitterest..... most icey and windiest winters to do this....( I KNOW I KNOW.....if he didn't what would BE the point) ok this one particular winter he decided on..... we had 40 inch snow banks...... ice dams on the roof with icecles stretching to the ground and then some..... and here I am...... climbing OUT of the upstairs window onto the studio roof..... trusty broom by my..........OOPS>>>>>> damn thing slide down to the end of the roof there......... ok where was I?????? oh yea..... purple hat on my head.... three layers of assorted clothing covering my rather rotund body........ three inches of ICE on the roof too...... did I mention that ice on the roof is SLIPPERY???? yup...... yup......it truly is.... now this bird is eyeing me as only birds can do..... they look sideways at you..... so I realized he already had an attitude....... first one beady eyeball then another...... meanwhile I am attempting to slip slide down to get my broom without going over the edge......and at the same time screaming at the bird to get offa my roof....... apparently that sounded (to the bird) like I SAID........ HAMMER the crap out of the roof there bird...... with feeling! cause now he sets to hammering my poor little long suffering iced over roof...... I grab the broom....and attempt to sort skate and slither back up a bit to reach that bird and send him into his afterlife.......nope.... and thank goodness for LARGE snow banks....... as I ended up going off the roof....... just like a cartoon......I ended up unhurt in the snow bank.... with the bird looking over the edge of the roof LAUGHING at me.....(I know he was laughing at me....I could see him shaking.......)so brilliant person that I am........ what do I do???????? well go back UP There of course........ clump clump clump through the house..... snow all over the place........ climb OUT again through the window..... a bit slower this time believe me...... get out on the roof..... totter over to the bird........ extend my broom to whack him to eternity......... when THE DAMN BIRD FLEW AWAY.......................... apparently me NOT falling over the edge of the roof was boring.......and he need to go and find new crazy ladies to torment........ I keep hearing them damn birds out there again...... and the broom is moving towards the studio.....it shouldn't be long now....... vi

These two little beauties were born a short time BEFORE I got to the farm for the impromptu sock knitting class which ended up being remedial knitting 101.
Aren't they adorable, they were about an hour old.

HERE is their Daddy, handsome fellow that he is.

I did get to hold Iris, one of the twin kids that was born the other week. Iris, sweet thing that she is, just settled down in my arms, put her head down, sighed and fell asleep! She is smaller then THADDEAUS!
I tell you it is love at first sight.
And now...... Bernie wants BOTH of the little black twins. hahahaha
do I see a goatie in our future?
gee I am going to have an entire herd of animals and not have the farmette to hold them.
Kris did however find us a farmette, with a BANK barn.....( be still my heart) but it is too far to have Bernie travel to work, I am trying to think how to figure THAT dilemma out.

( do you think it is too much to ask him to suck it up and get an ultra light to fly to work? So WHAT he is afraid of heights, and would need buckets of Dramamine........ I don't think that is too much to ASK...... we could get him a snow mobile suit for winter flying, just think of all the animals we could have if he would do that simple little thing)

Lets see, I am trying to finish up with the story about the roof and the woodpecker for you all, it is pretty funny, and goes under the caution....'don't try this at home' which, I really should have known BEFORE it happened to me.

Right now I am holding 4007 year old amber.
Thaddeaus is very jealous.
He is behind me 'talking'
LOUDLY.
But Amber is laying on my shoulder not bothering anyone BUT Thaddeaus, she is purring and it is very peaceful.
So Amber stays.
Thaddeaus will have to deal with it.

I am drinking my coffee, it is very good coffee for a weekday.
I am in the studio.
So are the cat litter boxes.
Thaddeaus availed himself of the box.
ewwwwwwwww
so much for coffee enjoyment
I knew there was a reason that I did NOT let them out of the crates until after my coffee.
gees.

well folks, I will be back later hopefully to post the story about the roof.
til next time
vi

YES we are getting MORE snow, we are after all IN the snow belt.

I am dreaming of a Latvian MITTEN....... fa la la la
well Christmas is over so I can't dream of a white Christmas.
I understand we are to get more snow here in the snow belt, imagine THAT!
I mean how could mother nature do that to us in the SNOW belt......
whatever would the palm trees think?
So here is what I have planned for the snow storm:
I got some Dalegarn Falk and some new needles...... and a few gold plated tapestry needles today.
I suppose those who are followers of fiber fantasies deserve a picture of this weeks goodies......?????
ok I will see what I can do huh?

THERE we are.
The only book I am missing from the pictures is Folk Socks by Bush and that is up on the nightstand.
While I was at the local yarn store, Jo who owns it showed me the new Dale..... in NEON colors
then told me that I was not to buy it until Friday or Saturday........
but that when I did buy it next week it was on sale at 20% off....
I want at least 2 of each..... maybe I better get 4 each?

We tried very hard to get junk food for this snow storm....

Don't let this happen to you,

learn from our mistakes.

Last big storm, us with no junk food, however since we ARE junk food impaired while we did go shopping I don't think we actually got alot of bona fide junk food, none the less we did try.

We got fruit........ mmmmmmmmm oranges, strawberries, grapes, bananas, and PINK lady apples....... my favs. Is anyone else thinking fruit salad?

We got a ton of veggies like snow peas etc..........

And oh yeah, a thing called 'hot pockets'

We did try.

We also got a zillion gallons of juice!
hahahahaha
Oh and some peach preserves.

I am in a wonderful mood lately, as soon as I got my antibiotics and terminated my involvement with a project that was very upsetting. ( that last was a shame as I'd already finished the work, and was about to upload it to the web, but what can you do. What should have been a lot of fun turned into a nightmare)

Bernie used the snowthrower to get the last storm off the driveway as it was flurrying all around him.

I have yet to get to Hancock fabric for the fabric & stuff for the new needle cases and knitting bags.

Sunday is the impromptu sock class at Carole's for the spin group, Bernie is baking a cinnamon swirl cake... I am making cookies for Diana, (Carole's daughter and my goat pusher) the snickerdoodles I owe her from when she had her wisdom teeth out.

In Goatie news, we are waiting for another one that is due Monday and possibly will be having her's on Sunday while I am FINALLY out there....... yeah for goaties!!!!
If she does......I may just come home with a goatie kid and a bottle! Someone please remind me to take the camera?
I really need to get a video camera for these little guys.

I am waiting for some goodies to come from Patternworks, shhhhhhhhhh don't tell anyone
I am getting the 'Year of Mittens' and the Chibi thingies.
Then after that all I need is my Latvian Mitten book and some time.....
I will be color knitting until my eye balls fall out.......hahahahaha

On the doll front, I have one I am working on (C 1760 English) that I am doing an article for. When I get that done I have to do some new sculptures for some larger figures. I am going to sculpt in Apoxyclay for these, instead of porcelain. I am going to do a test on this, and try it with my master molds. I think if it works I will keep doing the sculptures for the masters that way instead of in porcelain clay.
well Bernie is calling me, he is upstairs.....
sooooo
til next time
vi

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them think***

Ok so I paraphrased it..... I do that sometimes.
Ok I do that a lot.
why?
because I like it.
hahahahaha
Well I got to thinking this morning, about what goes ON in peoples heads sometimes.
Like me for instance, this morning.
I woke up from what has to be one of my odder dreams.
I dreamt of an old friend who died about 9 years ago, a few months AFTER Thea died.
in this dream she had WINGS..... not big old 'hark the herald angel' type wings....
but little Raphael cherub type wings. I saw her sitting in the car from a distance. She was wearing a tank top and had her arm on the window frame. The wings stood out a bit to the side.... they weren't any more then 18 inches..... BUT, it scared the shit out of me.
Took me quite a while to work up the gonads to get closer.

I did eventually talk to her and ask a million questions about them.
Questions that only an artist would probably think to ask.....

"how does the structure attach? Is there an extension of bone from your skeleton in there? how is the musculature attach? to where? does the pectoral have any thing to do with it? what about the lats and deltoids? how exactly is the movement happening? What other muscles are involved? Do you have rotator type movement? how far can you extend them? retract them? fold them?"

Also I observed that the area coming out of the attachment point was skin! not covered yet with feathers. And also that attachment point appeared to be on a secondary joint on the ridge of the shoulder 'blade' which also seemed to have been beefed up for the occasion very near the spine but not apparently directly attached to the spine. Oh and by the way the trapezoids were highly over developed here, to support the extra weight. And apparently the actual shoulder and rotator cuff have minimal to do with this, as the actual shoulder can stay still and the wings can be moved. ( fascinated me to no end I tell you)

I never got ALL the questions answered. She seemed a bit......ah........ remote.
This needless to say, was one weird ass dream and I woke up pretty upset as well as unsettled.
I realized that I had just experienced ( in a very interesting way) one of our universal myths and archetypes.

I am of course still trying to analyze this whole thing but the most interesting thing ( I mean APART from observing wings on a human up close which was freeken AWESOME) was that I had a feeling of extreme strangeness in this observation.

I mean here was a person I knew very well for a very long time. Change one attribute and a primitive area of my brain was screaming at me that this was 'different' and until investigation was to prove otherwise.... extreme caution was in order. That and actually seeing some one with a non human physical attribute was really eerie. I can only imagine our ancestors without benefit of computer aided animation or latex creature shop prosthetics would have thought if faced with something like this.

Oh and she said that at this point the wings worked as in she could move them however they were not big enough to attain the lift that would be needed for actual flight. So here I am faced with the fantastical, and my ever practical brain realizes that.......duh.... these little bitty wings are way too little for enough lift for a person that size!

I have been walking around all morning with the after feelings from this dream.

THE most overwhelming feeling was the eeriness of having real wings on a real person. I kept seeing actual LIFE in her eyes, not like a sculpture or a painting. This was real moving life. A person I knew. I kept thinking I wonder what would happen if I met up with some of the other myths from our collective history. All the figures and dolls I have done, any of the other work, nothing prepared me for this sort of feeling.

Now to bring us all down to earth and grounded for the day..... pictures of a new buck kid here.....

Is it me or is the world spinning faster?

I woke up last week because I was dizzy and the room was spinning, all this WITHOUT benefit of drugs or alcohol.
You know you are sick when the room spinning WAKES you up.
I SWEAR to be this sick without having had a ton of fun the night before is really not right. I demand to see the management about this, gees..........

I had to feed the cats, and tried to hang on to the walls while it seems like the little stone house in the woods was really a violently pitching boat on a storm surged sea..........

I could almost smell the dead fish.... or at least my stomach was telling me that.

You know I didn't know that stone houses could hang ten like that.

I was half expecting dolphins to come whirling by... instead I was greeted by the annoyed and impatient sarcasm of my little curly headed devil cat.

"MOM, do you KNOW it is 7:30?????, and I am WAITING for my breakfast???"

Me trying not to slide down the wall onto the curly devil's little head........... (And trust me on this one, Thaddeaus was not only impatient, and annoyed but there was NO missing the sarcasm in his meows)

'yes son, now be a good boy for mommy and get out of the way of the seaweed while I attempt to stagger across this floor that now is 35 feet in the air to get you a bite to eat'

Putting the food dish DOWN was even more interesting as I momentarily forgot which way was back UP, there by almost landing face first into an oh so appetizing bowl of chicken, turkey and gawd knows what else including butt parts, they put in canned cat food.

***Note to the animals loves that may happen across this tiny little enclave of cyberspace, these greedy little buggers of the feline persuasion that rule our home with not so velvet paws, are fed a very high quality kibble heaped in three separate bowls for their dining and nutritional needs, they get one tiny teaspoon of a canned cat food in the morning, not the cheapo kind either, it is the kind that they see on TV in the crystal glass, which is the ONLY kind these darlinks will agree upon...... think of it as feline junk food........ and if you still don't like it......

please send hate mail to kissthaddeaus'sbehindATwedon'tcareDOTcom

His Highness, Thaddeaus Peabody, emperor of all he surveys in his furry little cat head, expressed his acute displeasure in this close call of finding his mother almost face down in his bowl of food there by rendering him unable to fill his greedy little belly. (Yes I KNOW that I stand somewhere lower on the food chain in my Big Boy's esteem then his food and his belly, and I can accept that)

I think it took me about 20 minutes to figure out which was actually was UP.

Why don't people come equipped with the simplest of navigation instruments? I mean even CHEAPO planes do no?

ARE we no BETTER then PLANES, Are we no better then CARS, Are we no better then BOATS, can I hear an AMEN???? (I will assume I hear you all say that ok?)

I finally realized that probably a better place for me would be, possibly, horizontal on a soft surface. While it didn't stop the spinning, it did more or less insure that not to much dangerous stuff could happen to me while I was waiting for all this swirling to stop.

Now is also about the time I realized that possibly, JUST maybe, I may actually be still sick. (See I am really smart that way and see how FAST I figured it out, oh took me what? an hour????-personally I blame it all on Bernie and the plague he gave me that mutated...... numerous times)

Just as the room and bed had calmed down enough to an almost gentle lapping motion after the wild storm tossing I had gone through, Calpurrnia realized that her MOMMY was in HER boudoir- ALONE, - oh the horror of it, without CALPURRINA.

I was unaware she could have that much noise in her, persistent little blue eyed darlink that she is.
I mean she yelled outside that door for what I would swear in a court of law was oh....... two three YEARS..... Gee Even Bernie was afraid to disturb me at this point, he (for the first time in well.......forever) did NOT bring me the phone when it rang and ACTUALLY answered it himself.
Shocked the shit out of the caller, who had to keep asking if she was really speaking to Bernie.

But I would like to also go on record here stating that hell indeed most certainly DID NOT freeze over with the shock of BERNIE actually speaking INTO a phone mouth piece and his head did not explode from the experience, neither Bernie nor any phones were harmed in this momentous first.

Calpurrnia decided that mommy would be a wonderful trampoline this fine morning and she was soooooooo glad to bounce all over her beloved mommy, ‘never mind the headache mommy I am going to drool and bounce all over you don’t you feel better now mommy?’ which actually was more like

“nevermindtheheadachemommyIamgoingtodrool

andbounceallo

veryoudon’tyoufeelbetternowmommy?

All sixteen of her blue eyes blinking at me. How could I throw her off the bed, even if I knew which way WAS off the bed?

I am here alive ready to report to you, that human beings can indeed wake from the dead, and come back to life……. All it takes is a ton of antibiotics and some time.

I can also assure you all that the dead can drive to the doctor in a snow storm, even with locking up the breaks on the van and not kill anyone.

I am not so sure that the recently deceased and arisen can STAND all the crap draining down her throat, and out her nose……. Damn, people LEAK…… a LOT!

90% water my assets……. I am thinking 45 % of that is snot……and it is all in my sinuses..
oye
til next time

vi

As I will be unable to post for a few days so this is an old story that one of my friends kept from a few years back, (thank you bethie pie-I hope you also enjoyed rereading it)I hope you folks get a laugh out of it.... til next time..... vi

I figured I would tell you about a little visitor we once
had......Named Horace the BAT
ok this was a while ago, my Tiffany was still alive, we still had flocks of birds in the living room (another story for another time) Froud the bunny was still alive too.....Kiss the dog young....and Amber and Merry barely grow from kitten hood...... so we had quite a crew running around this tiny little house.

Now I know that it probably was my own damn fault......... after all it was a week before Halloween, and I wanted some Halloween decorations......
which I unfortunately said
out loud.....

Now, I am beginning to believe that the universe has a very very
interesting sense of humor, and just when you think you should be
serious...... it comes along to smack you right off your pompous
pillar.....or so it goes in my life anyway.
ok so here is the story......

I wanted halloween decorations, I said......."I would LOVE a pumpkin, or a CARDBOARD bat or something" and then went back to my work in the studio sculpting new faces for new dolls.

Being absorbed in that work, It took a while for me to hear and register that there were some odd squeaking noises going on in the kitchen....... as well as an interested crew of two cats a dog and a rabbit all crowded at the gate and being way too interested all at once............

ok so I got up,and waded through what felt like a sea of animals to enter the kitchen........ THERE was my Tiffany..... who was way too interested in
something that look suspiciously like someone had left a brownish accident on the kitchen floor......... I thought....(dumb work clogged brain that I was using at the time) oh man......who pooped here?????

When the "poop" started to squeak! oh my........... I decided it was a mouse.....and order Tiffany to back off his treasure....(tiff was named after LOUIS Comfort Tiffany....and yes I know they both were boys) which he didn't do!

now I am dumbfounded and shocked as Tiffany always listened to me....... we had an understanding I was his slave, and my terrified orders were actually followed............
hahahaha not this time.....so I started to make him back off.....fully expecting the
"mouse" to jump up and run under the dishwasher to the safety of the mouse hole behind it..............
now again......imagine my surprise
when the "mouse" instead of jumping and running to the mouse hole....leapt up and started to FLY around the floor......................... ohohohohoh..................
frantically counting head and rabies shots.......I realized most everyone was ok,
with the exception of ME........ & at the same time .....my brain was also saying .....*twinkle twinkle little BAT* HOLEY SHIT you are a FREEKEN BAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it is 10am in the morning...
and you are now squeaking and flying in circles around my ANKLES......me without a
rabies shot......
and you...... oh my.....you must be sick! (As an aside, they really do make that sort of schlecky B movie flappy sound with thier wings) at which point this poor little bat promptly flies into the edge of the stove and knocks himself out cold.................
on his back...... oh my........

I call a neighbor for help...while gently covering the still breathing but out cold bat with a perforated large deep dish metal pie plate...
this neighbor is less then helpful as she suggests I squish the bat with a broom.... I DON"T THINK SO...
Ok call a friend of dh.... who has a bait and tackle store and NETS..
"Can you come and help this bat please"
well I won't repeat his answer...
Ok then I call DH...at work... 1-1/2 hours away... I am screaming into the phone now.. to be heard over the sounds of air tools in the background...(diesel mechanic at the time)
"THERE IS A BAT IN THE KITCHEN..COME HOME NOW"
however.... when you try to shout in one ear of a mechanic, while air tools go off in the other, you should know to expect some misinformation to go across..
he replies..."WHAT CAT we have three of them...and why is this a problem....?????????"
(now mind you I am still married to the man...I didn't strangle him on the spot..) and
I started to scream "no BAT...BAT BAT>... COUNT DRACULA....VAMPIRES...a
friggen BAT!"

He finally gets it....and says..
"why do you have a bat in the kitchen...???

" Followed by..."no I can't come home we are doing a fleet service, you will just have to deal with that on your own.."

NOW I notice that the bat is waking up... and he is not happy, he is squeaking and beginning to move around ..as is the pie plate over him..
So I ever so gently place a large can of pineapples on the pie plate..just to hold it in place...
well now this bat is not going to take this lying down so to speak..and now is running around the kitchen with the pie plate and a can of pineapples....
Oh my
So I get a bucket....and put that over the pineapples which is on top of
the pie plate with is over our little friend....
And now I got a bat, a pie plate a can of pineapples and a bucket running around the
kitchen..squeaking...
ok I get a gallon of bleach..(hey I was desperate here, I was afraid someone including the bat might get hurt)

He decides to finally stop squeaking and moving around.....
Woo..Hoo..
for a second I am relieved...
Then I get nervous...is that little guy
ok? Is he breathing..? Is he hungry? Cold? Tired? Oh my....so all day I gingerly slide little slivers of card board and lift up the entire contraption a hair just to make sure he has enough air..
all the while trying to convince the other animals that this bucket/bleach/pineapple
can/pie plate is perfectly normal and I actually meant to do that and leave it alone..
Now.. finally dh comes home...I meet him out on the top deck frantically babbling about this bat.. who's name by now is named Horace and don't hurt him...(like dh even would consider that..but I was worried that we would have a problem releasing him right)
we decide to wait for after dinner..and medium twilight to release our tiny guest.
Ok, after dinner we get a large piece of cardboard.
The idea is to slide this under the pie plate gently so that we can carry our little Horace out and release him while singing "Born Free" into the gathering gloom... so far so good. I remove the bottle of bleach, the bucket, the pineapple can...

"Horace can you hear me?" answering squeak...

THE MOMENT COMES..
we have Horace under his pie pan, with his cardboard floor...carefully go out into the early night.. I get ready to sing "born free"....
I dramatically cast away the pie pan off of our little friend...
.
.
.
only to have him sink like a stone into the leaves below...
DH goes to me.."OH YOU BROKE HIS WING" I am hysterical crying thinking...Oh my I don't know how to SET a bats wing.and how rotten a person am I...when Horace BURSTS from the leaves and flaps his way off into the sunset..........with nary a backwards glance...

And the moral of this story is... BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...THE UNIVERSE IS LISTENING... and it has a twisted sense of humor...

TWINS

ok the names are ( are you all ready?????)
Iris and Hyacinth

Can we have a moment of silence?

sadly, no books were waiting for me at the post office today........
sniff
however no bills were waiting either!
but monday is a holiday so now I have to wait to........... tuesday
how will I survive the suspence?
sniff
I need a book fix I really do
til next time
vi

Coffee and Daylight and Laperms OH MY

it is pretty late for me today, as I try to get this blog in before the sun is up, (I got caught with my pants down, so to speak today)
The sun is up. ( said like Darth Vador)
oh my I can still hear the echoes
well first off it is again very cold up here.......now I may have the blubber of a walrus but damn, it gets really really cold too....... I wonder what the walrus' secret is?
I mean they are as fat as I am, yet they lay around all day on ICE.......how the hell do they do that?
I can't even walk outside in my long purple goosedown coat, which when seen had SOMEONE refer to me as the Michelin man's illegitimate love child. Ok so horizontal goose down baffles are not exactly my best look....... hello? did I mention it was COLD again.

ok where was I, walrus'? no............... coats? ........ past that....
ok to town, I have to go to town.
DAMN
Actually the first part is the fun part........the POST OFFICE..... ok that may not be fun if all I find are bills there..... but if my (hushed voice now) books............. woo hoo......I will be soooooo happy and rush through today's work schedule like a roaring tiger.

Meanwhile I want you to all know I have coffee hahaha although it is the beginning of the first cup.
And yesterdays trip to town was sponsored by the LAPERMS........ That's right, Thaddeaus and Calpurrnia got together and informed me that they were out of kibble. And if I did not rectify this situation...... they would revolt. While Calpurrnia doesn't have enough smarts to actually think a revolt through, she would be playing with a leaf and singing in the corner......La la la....
Thaddeaus..... Unfortunately does have the smarts, if not the opposable thumbs. It is the BOY cat strangely that you have to watch out for.....I do solemnly swear that he really is smart enough to plot the over turn of the universe...... with him as the head. Fortunately his Achilles tendon is his stomach.....offer him food.......he is putty in your hands at least until the food runs out.
So now you all see why I had to brave the snow, and wind, and ice, and COLD ( I did say it was cold right? I mean really really really REALLY cold.......can't emphasis that enough)

Today with any luck it will be pure pleasure to brave Mother Nature and get my books.....

I swear that people like me should be given open passes to the library of congress...... I would never see the light of day. Eventually my pasty white blobby body would be found deep in the medieval history section..... having discovered a book with obscure references to medieval women, blinking because my eyes can not adjust to the light of day.... with a pile of coffee cups next to me and an empty pop tart box, the contents of which I will have eaten without noticing while I was trying to decipher the middle English....

ok back to reality......... over the river and through the woods to town I go.....
now if you all REALLY don't hear from me for a week........
I got that Starmore book and am knitting like a woman possessed.
til next time
vi
ps: I have been promised more goatie pictures....... when I get them you all will be the first to know

This is more like it

Still not 100% but I am vertical...... I am awake before daybreak, AND I have had coffee!
Not just one cup, but I am on my second cup!
now

the important stuff
for the Goatie KID pictures go HERE
ok I came back and decided to put her pretty face HERE for you to admire

after all she is a little beauty and I would hate you all to miss her pretty little face....
(see what did I tell you.....isn't she a doll???)
THADDEAUS is Bigger then that little girl!
amazing huh?
Wait cause more are due on Monday!

lets see what else?
Sheepies......
ok IF Kris only gets singles this year, which we figure is impossible as her one ewe is as big as a house, I may have to get a lamb somewhere else.
I am thinking Tunis and then doing a X with the 100% BFL ram that Kris has.
I think that will give some seriously nice spinning fleece. Carole and Kris are both interested in what would be the outcome of this cross as well.
I really wish I could get a variance to keep two sheep here, but I doubt it.
they want 3 acres to start plus 1/2 acre per animal.....so I would actually need three MORE acres here for two sheep....... now what 2 sheep will do with 4 acres? I don't know
it would even take more GOATS to keep it trimmed back.......

ok now back to the studio.
Work has suffered.
there is no way around it, and Bernie is working Saturday.
Which may be a good thing as I will probably be working late saturday to play catch up.
I am trying to get a hold of Nancy to see if she wants to come fill this big order for me while I do the other stuff that is in the studio. So far I can't reach her.

I had planned on going up to Lilac Corners today or monday, as I want to see the kids and I have to help comb cashmere, as the goats are starting to shed and so it is time to gather the fiber, I don't know if I can fit that in now, but I am going to burn the midnight oil so I can try to get there.
I can't WAIT to comb out the cashmeres.
Besides I miss my time with all the goats, sheep and princess the horse.
The chickens are now in my freezer, but I will still miss them sitting on the stall sides in the barn watching us work with the animals.
Such is farm life.
ok
the sun has now more or less peaked over the mountain, or at least there is light outside, so my day can start on the workbench now.
have a wonderful day you all
Gee, I wish you folks would leave a comment or two, so many of you are coming here, I can see by the counter.
til next time
vi

A whole lot of nothing

Ok, I don’t do well at certain times of the month……. Part of yesterday and all of today is that certain time of the month……
I woke up feeling like a turnip that fell off a truck and was squished by an elephant….. and I suspect the elephant is still standing on me.
I can’t even SEE straight let alone stand up and walk much.
And forget about using my hands….. they aren’t working today.
WHAT you may wonder brought me so low…….
Damn…….. it is my period.
I will however be fine in a day or so……… ( anyone doubt that Larry, Moe and Curly are running the universe….. exhibit A, my week)
I understand that my one remaining brain cell is sound asleep dreaming of Latvian mittens………..
So that explains my stunning lack of life at the moment.
The good news is………
(yes even given this depressing state of current events there IS good news)
in a day or so, I will be fine, back to what passes as normal for me….
Bright eyed if not bushy tailed……and again working my fat behind off.
I may even have a brain cell back in this hemisphere and inside my own little head.
So if I don’t make much sense, or seem off my rocker to you….that is because I am laid low with the period from hell.
(no wonder MEN don’t have a period, as they could NEVER deal with this shit and survive it……… much less actually be able to breath and walk at the same time with this)

if anyone wants to send sympathy gifts of ice cream or cheesecake, remember I don’t like chocolate…….. however blackberry, raspberry, blueberry and peach all sound good……. All mixed up is even BETTER………
til next time
viwho is sort of glad that she is too weak to drive as the ice cream and cheesecake got me hungry, and now I have a craving………visions of chubby cheesecake stuffed hamster cheeks dance in what is left of my head

it's a GIRL

born about 4pm
she is dark brown with white on her nose and white ears.........
hahahaha
I am an AUNT~!
hahaha
mommy and baby are doing fine

Talk Goatie to me

Today is raining and cold........ and this week has gone downhill fast.
so Fritter the goat decided to dilate and have her babies today, naturally......... of COURSE......
can't she SEE I am worried sick??? ( Carole reports that she told Fritter I was frantic with worry, Fritter unimpressed continued to chew her hay)
We are expecting them in about three hours.

Meanwhile,..........

I dreamt of my folks last night, which would have been nice.....except I dreamt that Dad was messing with the computer, and we had gotten a trojan which was flashing "IDENTITY THEFT" all over the screen......
which caused my mom to start screaming....... to which I responded...... 'what are YOU screaming about........ I'M the one who has to deal with this crap'
nice huh talking to my dead mom like that
oye
then they touched my cheek and I woke up
at 4:33 am
and guess what I discovered??????????
oh go ahead....... GUESS????

my computer had a trojan............ no shit!
I submitted it to Norton, and then I started to back up and download like there was no tomorrow......
I got done about 11 am, broke for breakfast...................
scanned the crap out of the computer.......
and finally hooked the modem back up.
I was a bit nervous you see
it isn't everyday your dead parents come back to tell you that you have a trojan on the computer.

So now I am not only behind from the nightmare trip to town yesterday........but I am now also behind due to computer woes.
this puts me a solid day behind.......... what (you may be wondering) is next?........... my period
yes mother nature decreed.......... thou shalt be upset AND bloated.
thou shalt have pms
thou shalt have assorted ills and pains..........
and thou shalt crave sweets...........
which thou whilst NOT have in the house
oh and we are sending mega cramps too........ and the rain just to be on the safe side.
oh yea and before we forget
it is going to get really really cold........... the goat will deliver and YOU won't be there........

gees how the hell did I piss off Mother Nature so thoroughly?
All this crap AND I miss the babies.........
I can't get out there in time
oh yeah, I got a rush into the studio as well.... I may have to actually hire help!
sniff
and not a drop of chicken stock in the freezer......... not a dollop of icecream or a crumb of cheesecake......
HOW am I supposed to go on........I ASK YOU?
no icecream or cheesecake either.
However the one bright spot is that Carole told me that my lamb does not have to die ........... ( you all heard about the lamb Kris is giving me right?) since the zoning won't let me have my lamb here, we were going to have to send it to the butcher, but Carole saved the day and told me I could board it there by her........YEAH!!!!
I am going to have me a LAMB!!! and we don't have to EAT it
I get a fiber animal......... maybe I can sneak it here for a visit once in a while???? you know...........to mow the lawn????
I hope it is a white one, and I Hope it is a ewe!
hahahahhaha
I get a lamb, I get a lamb, and it is going to be alive...........how great is that?????????????????
meanwhile I am running behind...... so if I get up at 4:30 for the rest of the month I may actually catch up.
Oh did I mention I got a rush come in Monday? no? ................ ok, I got a rush come in Monday........
so I am going to try and update this first thing in the morning..... you know, to let you all know I am alive and not run away to Hawaii on a slow sea turtle
til next time
vi
who is going to be a lambsie mommy

Waiting for the goat kids to arrive

Carole promised that the goats would have the babies yesterday.
Actually one of the goats was due, the others are spaced out relatively evenly over the next couple of weeks more or less.
We are waiting for anywhere from 40 to 60 goat babies (they are called kids) to arrive.
I am calling often to see if I am a goatie aunt yet.
I wanted Carole to take the phone to the barn and tell the goat that is due.......to hurry things along as I don't have all day here....
and she IS a day late you know.
Carole said Goats Have them on TIME, and in the afternoon............................
I told Carole to tell the goat that I SAID......... she is late, and I am not the most patient person in the universe........
The message was relayed and the goat continued to chew her hay, she was unimpressed.
I told Carole to explain to this goat, that if she doesn't have these kids soon, Carole will have to listen to me call daily and whine and complain about the babies not being there....... AFTER ALL, it is my FIRST goat babies.......
gees......
all this waiting isn't easy you know.

I had to go to town and got caught in traffic worried the entire time that the goatie would have the babies and I would not know it

sniff

I was telling Linda at the bank how I was worried about this goat having these kids while I was gone.

I told Joanne at the yarn store about the goats while I was dropping off my baby sock and the mohair mobius scarf.

I told Jo ( different Jo) up at the insurance company about the goaties being so late..........

all week everyone every where has had to listen to me go on and on about the goaties......

do you THINK this goat would be co-operative and just have the damn kids already????

no

of course not

meanwhile can I get anything done right around here?
nope
oh and I just found out I have one less day then I was told for one project, so a day in the studio when nothing is going right is just not on the schedule.........
all cause of the goat not having the babies......yesterday.
you just can't trust a goat now a days........
til next time
vi
who will now have to rip back the cuff of the mitten that I am supposed to be writing the new pattern for........who needs to sleep............. not me?

that's us spinning alpaca up at Yknot Alpacas.....
we had a blast btw
I just realized I been promising pictures and haven't put any up
soooooooooooo here's pictures

And the word for today is.............

There is a word for the day? besides Monday?
no one told me....
did I miss the meeting?
WHERE was I when this was decided?

Meanwhile, it is about 8:30, or it was when I started this post.

Thaddeaus is running around calling me, as he wants to play. His sister, who it turns out is a bit smarter then we thought, has wisely hidden herself. Only to come out for the 'flying bird on a stick with string' toy. She is actually having a blast with the three times a day sessions....... ( no comments on my stability because I play with them so much, I am actually playing with their HEADS......... trust me, and I got some swamp land to sell ya)

I think Thaddeaus likes to watch HER play as much as he likes to play.
When we get done, far sooner then they would like EVERYONE gets a cookie, starting with Amber.
( you remember AMBER? she is 4007 and dy-ink daily.......... she is sticking around for the cookies)

Amber being old and DY-INK after all....... does not play. It is beneath her dignity.
SHE used to catch MICE after all. Real live ones, or they were live until she caught them.
I tried to get her interested in some toys, but for the most part she looks at me like I lost my mind.

"do you THINK that compares to a REAL mouse............ PLEASE"

I have been told off by a cat.

And you all should SEE the look on her face, there is NO mistaking she thinks I am beyond redemption.

Now in other news,
I got the baby socks done, they are so cute. hahahaha, I wanted to knit four and put them on Thaddeaus! they actually would FIT him......he does have HUGE feet. I drop that off tomorrow sometime.

Also tomorrow the particulars for my online class is due to the admin.
I will type that up tonight, it is all ready just needs to be put in coherient form, at least I think it is.

I did a bad bad thing..........
terrible thing.......
really really bad.......
shhhhhhhhhh
don't tell anyone......

are you ready????

I bought some books..............

HORRORS........

two sock books and two mitten books......... I am out of my mind

Folk Socks, Folk Mittens, Magnificent Mittens, Simply Socks

What I really WANTED was Alice Starmores 'Tudor Roses'
I will settle for socks and mittens for the time being
I also want the Regia sock journals. there are two of them with the loud colored socks that I adore...... oh and the yarn do go with......
I don't want much, and it IS almost my birthday right?


oh and the word for the day is

Happy Valentines day

My husband channels bacon

Every Sunday morning.
never fails.
Sunday morning, we wake up...... and while lying in bed Bernie always says.......

'I smell Bacon'

(isn't there a commercial that says that? only for DOG bones?...........
mmmmmmmmmmmm there is a joke in there somewhere I am sure of it)

He is always surprised when I tell him.........no, I am a NORMAL person and do NOT smell bacon.......
to which he replies,

' I also smell toast'

AAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK *** a small scream

it never fails..... every sunday morning he smells bacon, and he says it wakes him UP.

meanwhile I am thinking there must be some DEEP seated physiological reason for this, no?
now yesterday afternoon we took a nap, and when he woke up he smelled.................. ROAST BEEF!
at least he has variety huh?
til next time
vi
who doesn't smell anything in the morning unless someone (who shall remain nameless) farts

How did a SHREW get in the attic?

We had a shrew in the attic, not like in Shakespeare's 'Taming of the Shrew' but a real live dead shrew..... sort of a mole like creature, which I thought lived underground or at least NEAR the ground. But no we found one in the attic.
ok well rather Bernie found one in the attic.
He brought it down and informed me ' I don't think it is a mouse' .........ya think?
no it wasn't a mouse.
and it stank................ badly........
(stunk? what ever is the verb for that....is it a verb? gees it is a long time since I had grammer and such)

We wrapped it in napkins and plastic bag for a coffin and unceromoniously dumped it in the garbage.
The Laperm's were VERY interested in the garbage after that but fortunately, lacking opposable thumbs so far have not figured out how to get into the kitchen covered can. ( say that three times fast...... with coffee in your mouth....go ahead......I DARE you hahaha don't blame me if you do however)

Ok that all leads up to the actual point of this story, ( and yes you smart ass I actually DO have a point)

The nice man with the last meal bucket will be coming today to help escort any other rodent beings that have entered our home in the two months prior to his visit, to the pearly gates of rodent heaven

Now before you send me hate mail about rodent right to life. Let me assure you that for 15 of the 19 years we have lived in this little stone house in the woods..... we have not bothered the uninvited mouse guests. Indeed we have unwittingly FED the little buggers, cat food, bird seed, cookies, bread, my good dress shoes........... candles........ you name it
I repeated would stand in different rooms and ask the mice to please vacate the premeses as we couldn't really all live happily ever after with dancing rodents........giving birth to 5 bazillion babies an hour...... I did not want a sign over our home with the quote........over '5 million mice sold' to paraphrase a famous yellow arch.
Needless to say the mice turned a deaf ear. Mice know a good deal when they land in it.

Ok so what changed my mind?

well you all know I make soap right? cp or cold processes soap.........
well now you do know
and so do the mice
I make great soap
Mice like soap
Mice EAT soap
that cuts into profits
and then the laperms started to catch the mice and kill them
in light of those two facts, plus we would have dizzy dancing mice in the kitchen when the laperms CAUGHT the mice but didn't finish the deed........
so the mice had to go
we made sure they have a wonderful last meal..... from the sounds of it..... it is mouse thanksgiving.
the attic is littered with mouse skeletons
and tiny mouse ghosts too I would imagine, but maybe not as they all seem to be very happy up there.
And today because of the shrew, the baits will be renewed.......
and more mice will go to the light
til next time
vi
ps: please send all hate mail to idontgivearatsass@whatdoyoumean.com

Happiness

I am night blind, and can not see to drive at night.
Why am I telling you folks this?
Because it is important to know this so you understand what happened last night.
Being night blind, I am very careful to NEVER put myself in a position to be driving when I truly can't see. It is unsafe for me and anyone else I would encounter on the roads.

Last night was my monthly spin group meeting.

As Bernie has a new job, he doesn't get home until at least 6:30 or 7pm. Since he leaves at 4:50 am, I don't feel right about asking him to jump BACK in the car and drive another hour, stay up WAY past his bedtime, which ends up with him only getting about 5 hours sleep just for me to go to spin group.

So reluctantly yesterday I was resigned to not going. Which sort of sucked as I really love these people, I can't BELIEVE how important they are to me now. They have all become friends, which I never expected, but I am delighted to have found.
Now Kris, who lives I think the closest to me, but still over 40 minutes away, decided to pick me up take me there and drop me off...............
how unbelievably nice was that?
I still can't believe that she did that!
Now at the last minute I thought it was going to snow, which it did much later on, But I didn't want Kris here in the snow, as where she lives, they really can't get in and out with snow there. ( they run their own company out of their delightful 18thC stone house so they don't HAVE to get out in the snow)
I called Kris and told her, no Thank you but she needn't bother to worry about coming for me.
She wanted to talk to Carole, so we conference Carole........
between Carole and Kris......... I was sort of 'convinced' to go.
Carole kept insisting that I didn't love the spin group anymore and was going to start hanging out with the suburban knitters.........abandoning the farming fiber people with the goats and the sheep.......
hahahaah
I didn't even have time to bake cookies for these folks either......
I did however manage to call Bernie at work to leave him a message that I was going. ( I also hate to bother him at work, I simply don't want to take him away from whatever he is doing, as I know it is annoying to have your concentration broken)
Anyway, Off we went to spin group!
We had two new people last night.
Friends of one of the other members.
We laughed our asses off.
I talked and chattered on and on.....
I SWEAR I love those folks, they feel so much like family to me.
There isn't any of that childish petty jealousies or competition crap that goes on normally when folks get together regularly.
They don't care that Bernie has to come with me, and have told him that he is ALWAYS welcome.
AMAZING huh, but I have been involved with these folks for about a year......... they just aren't that way.
We do other stuff together, we have gone to each other's home for craft projects outside of spin, helped with animals, traveled to fiber festivals....... had parties together.......
I am telling you, it is the most amazingly wonderful thing.
I wish a group of people like this for all of you.
Anyone that comes is accepted, no one is ignored, everyone is helped with knitting, spinning, fiber, & life with humor and affection. We talk about family things, what we are doing in our lives.
We laugh hysterically at tons of funny stuff.
We hug what ever animals happen to live inside the house the meeting is held at that month.
(Linda's last night, so Teddy and Amy the dogs are hugged and kissed and played with, then they go inside to the living room and lay down)
Donna made GREAT cookies as did Linda, so I was ok that I didn't bring a snack.......I sort of felt bad for a second but really it was ok and Donna loved that her cookies were all gone by the time we left...
THAT'S how GREAT these people are.
Some folks that used to say they didn't have time to come now started to come monthly, realizing they really NEEDED this time with all of us together...... the laughter alone was worth it.
I swear I feel like these guys are all family members in a very good sense of the word.......
AND
AND GET THIS........
I told them I needed them to be sock knitting class guinea pigs.....to make sure that when I teach the class I am giving in March, I will be able to help even the slowest knitter.
THEY are all going to Carole's in a couple of weeks, just so when I teach later I will be ok with it.
Anyway, it is almost 6am now.......
and I am almost done with my first cup of coffee.
Today is Bernie and my 28th wedding anniversary. He was in bed when I got home last night but of course, he couldn't sleep as I wasn't there. ( I don't sleep without him either)
I realized last night and this morning......
life really doesn't get any better then this......
money can't buy this feeling.
and sometimes if you are very very lucky.......... life gives you this wonderful gift, AND makes you aware of how lucky you are.
til next time
vi
who is VERY VERY lucky

85 *&)@#$%# Strawberries FINISHED

all about 3/16 of an inch.......
I have finished.
I think I have single handedly ruined my eyes for all other miniature fruits.....
(what do you MEAN you aren't going to make bunches of grapes that are less then 1/2 inch in length......why that is just.............. CRIMINAL)
The strawberries are cooling as they came out of the oven.
I have yet to put seeds on them...........
do I really HAVE to put seeds on them?
I ask you........... would anyone NOTICE that I did not put seeds on them?
I am thinking if I never made another *&)@#$%# strawberry again in miniature it will be too soon.
however I have to tell you all......... they are really really CUTE......
hahahahah
I mean they REALLY are.....
now lets see if I can get the camera to focus down that tight to show you all how cute they are......
vi
who is thinking maybe she needs a microscope for this?
or some sort of lense for a Canon A 70 that will have a 3/16 inch strawberry in sharp closeup focus?

Over the river and through the woods.... to town however

I have to go to town today....not Gramma's house.
(sounds sooooo countrified doesn't it)
we used to be rural, but now we have a Walmart, a Target, BJ's wholesale & (my destination today) an AC Moore.

I am going to town for a few odds and ends to finish off this landscape base, then I swing by to pick up a new mouse as this one won't right click.....( how to drive me right over the top and off the deep end.......don't right click for me....you mouse you.....)
after that I have to swing by the LYS ( Local Yarn Store) to get the DK for the baby socks, we decided yesterday to do it in DK ( Double Knitting weight-although personally I prefer sock weight)

I have a long list of sundries and such that I need to get, but most are on the ......... when I have a bit more discretionary income

I need a good coffee pot, this one my dad gave me as a house warming present 18 years ago. I couldn't bare to get rid of it but I am thinking........ one that has a carafe that holds the heat would be a nice thing.......and if it managed to hang UNDER a cabinet....... gee that would be even better.... ditto on the toaster.
I am also going to see if I can find a cheapo mini tripod. My tripod is a full size one but lately a mini would be easier I think..... maybe a 18 inch one? under $20.00 for the digital camera?

Anyway today my list includes some dried babies breath, a mouse, cat food..... the dk, and possibly scrapebooking scissors and a paper punch......oh and some assorted dowels as I am going to be making some Double point needles for my spin group.

I am also trying to see if I can possible maybe........ justify a new toy for the cats..... mmmmmmm
I haven't paid the mortgage yet ( I will do that saturday, so I suppose the answer is NO......
too bad....... poor Thaddeaus)
til next time
and someone remind me to post pictures of the finished color knitted hat....... still unblocked
vi

85 strawberries and not one to eat

I am making strawberries
it would be a very good thing if they were eatable
but they miniature in 1/12 scale.
so they are something like........ what? 3/16 of an inch or so?
I am putting these tiny strawberries on tiny strawberry plants.
for something I am doing for the class I am giving. My class information won't be up on the site until I believe April 1.
meanwhile I am making this landscaped base for the class.
It has elements of medieval garden design, so it isn't just an average base.
I hope to have people learn abit about making some small flowering plants, and possibly a bee skep.
( the bee skep is if I have the time)
I am having a blast with it.
meanwhile I did the basic handouts for the sock knitting class I am giving at the LYS on March 5....
(Toe up baby sock), however that class is really about fearless patternless sock knitting.
I have to do the samples
THIS JUST IN
I just got a wrong number........ the person asked for "Frank Frazetta"
now Ironically............. he lives in my town, up the hill from me actually. ........ and yes it IS THAT Frazetta!
I just about flipped.
When I told the lady that sadly I was not as talented as Mr. Frazetta, and that she had the wrong number!
I am still laughing at the irony of it.
I know I owe you all pictures
I KNOW
I DO KNOW
lemme see what I can do.........

ok here is Thaddeaus' first day home!
look at my little devil in sheeps clothing!
til next time
vi

Thank heavens for boring days

I wish I could say that on most days, however even when I think a day is going to be boring......SOMETHING always happens. (it must be that Larry, Moe and Curly thing I think)
I will venture to say that today will be boring......
as I am going to be making 1/2 inch high strawberry plants.
that's right,
you read that right.
1/2 inch high.
I am out of my mind.
(yes we know this fact, as it has already been established that I must not be all there, after all I do have Laperms........ 2 currently and soon to be three)
how many strawberry plants am I going to make?
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh probably about............ hmmmmmmmmm
a dozen or so
then I have to make iris' about a dozen or so of them.
then roses.......... silk ones...... that are about 1/4 inch across or less.
All this with the looming specter of the plague from the pits of hell
I did however take the precaution of taking the ORANGE drugs. The last time I had the plague, which was given to my by my DEAREST husband.....( said through gritted teeth at this point), Bernie chased me around the house with this dayglow in the dark orange medicine stuff that tasted vile, (If I could have actually tasted it) and landed in my stomach like a hand grenade. But I have to say it did work.
now I have decided that I am not quite responsible for whatever I say for the next couple of days while I ride out the whole cold/plague thing.
With the EXCEPTION that.......

Our 28th wedding anniversary is Friday...... yes, this coming Friday.......
( I was a zycote in a petri dish when he walked my parents down the aisle, I am not saying that he robbed the CRADLE, as I would have to wait oh.................... lets say 8 -9 years to HAVE a cradle......you know being a zycote and all)

til next time
vi
who will try and get you all some pictures later

I fear the plague may have arrived

Bernie is sick.
He may with any luck, simply have a cold.
Which is good right?
He will sniffle for a few days.
And be fine in no time.
that's right
good for him

but not so good for me, cause you see, Bernie mutates germs into superbugs.
This generally means he gets the sniffles for a couple of days, maybe a slight sore throat, and then when he is done with it........ gives it to me and I am so sick I am trying to remember to breath and I am afraid I am going to LIVE.
now that is sick.
believe me it is
When you are so sick you pray to DIE, then you know you are really truly sick.
Now I would like to know exactly what mysterious power his immune system has to do this to the most innocent rhinovirus to turn it into super rhinovirus on steroids the terminator of rhinoviruses...................
he tells me he shares with me cause he 'loves' me
yeah
I can sure feel the love
me and my box of "Puffs"

and when I get this plague, I get it for weeks and weeks........ it seems like I am sick then until late spring. When the roses bloom, I get over it.
meanwhile I sound like I am on a triple XXX 900 line making 3.99 per minute...... ( can you say 'breathy')
now about the time I sound the very worst, when a frog has taken up residence in my throat, and either the frog is croaking or I am coughing........ I keep hearing from everyone......'gee you SOUND terrible'

yes I know...... but really I only SOUND like I am hacking up a few assorted body parts, really I am fine......
however if you want to send me some lovely departing gift......I am registered at Amazon
hahahaha
knitting books are ALWAYS in good taste you know, as is cheesecake.
(KIDDING, just send the books hahahaha)
and this last part with the lovely departing gift is a joke that Bethie and Marilyn will laugh the hardest at

Bathing Mrs Bigglewood

Those of you who may follow these things, may be aware that we have two "laperm" cats
who need to be bathed periodically like poodles.
today Mrs calpurrnia Peabody bigglewood was up for the honor.
to be fair I did not laugh maniacally like I do when her brother Mr. Peabody is going in the tub......
however I was not above taking pictures for evidence......
(and to laugh over later in private)
let me tell you, 5 pounds of wet cat makes the exact same size explosion as 1 ton of high explosives.
After we retrieved the wet cat, cleaned up the destruction in the kitchen, returned the furniture to it's upright position, we were tired, but determined to finish the deed.

She is currently hiding in a box, btw.
Now as furry as she is........... she is very very tiny under that coat..... she is about 6-8 inches tinier!
And solid and very strong....... legendary strength.
One 6 foot man and one short fat woman had trouble holding onto 5 pounds of slippery cat.

As the BACON turns..........

Sunday morning, bacon being fried up and turned in the pan.
oh my it doesn't get any better then this.....
ok well not much better huh?
Bernie is cooking breakfast, I am drinking very good coffee.
The cats are not quite destroying the house while running around.

Today I plan on getting the photo's for the landscape base tutorial. I will do the sanding/finishing of the wood add the label and the little cushions. Tomorrow I will do the beginning of the basic landscaping, and depending on how far I get I may even get it done tomorrow. This would be wonderful as then I would be able to get a head start on the other stuff I got waiting.

Ok I finished my color knitted hat.....don't look to close at the last repeat on the crown...... well ok I won't even show that to you all. I have the baby sock to design and write for class....which I expect to be done by Wen.

Now, in the midst of this, I have to tell you all......... I am out of my mind.
however in my defense, it is cold out ( ok it WAS cold out) there was snow and ice involved.
what am I going on and blathering about now you ask?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

rocks

Yes that is right you actually saw that right................

ROCKS

as in I have to have rocks in my head
Bethie asked...... 'are they to replace the ones you lost from your head'
Bethie is a smart ass....... lets all LOOK at Bethie the smart ass........... we SEE you Bethie.

Well you see just because I live in the mountains surrounded by rocks, pebbles, stones, gravel.......... doesn't mean I can get through the snow to it all...........so I BOUGHT THEM
ha
my dirty little secret is now out..... however they do have character.
and I did leave the pink and green ones there.

watch for their appearance on this piece I am working on.

please address all the ........"violet you are nuts" mail to BETHIE

thank you


in other news,
Did you know you could peel sour oranges and poke them with a fork and then pour sugar over them?
you did?
why didn't someone tell me before this?
I did it yesterday, and it is wonderful, sooooooo very orangey and not at all disgusting like I thought it would be.
I will be doing it again today.
ha
so there mother nature.
(crouching now so I don't get the shock of my life as it is not nice to fool mother nature remember?)
now my coffee calls, and Bernie has just informed me that my breakfast is to follow
gee............
how much better does it get?
and here I am with nothing to kevetch about.....hahahahaha


til next time
vi

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Ok I really really liked this quote, and I googled it to see what all was said about it.

I found the original at KR, quoted by a brilliant person, " KnitKnut" Marie from NC, who I am in debt to for this.
Now in all fairness Marilyn probably has quoted this to me a million times, but I probably was not in a position to actually hear it. ( well I DON'T know, maybe I was standing on my HEAD at the time, I am not always all here or all there at times.....but you all knew that about me)

Anyway there was some annoyance going on by email and I think this quote is apt. So if you folks see it turning up in my email siggy......you know that person is this close to me really biting their heads off. AND if I show up in an orange jump suit and styling ankle and wrist cuffs......... you know I just totally lost it and will do my time quietly....... ok not SO quietly. ( should we tell Martha to move over?)


Today is SATURDAY, yeah for saturday!!! Bernie has Saturday's off now again.......yeah!!!! so we get to do errands, which is pretty freeken good! Now one of today's errands was to run to Flemmington to get his last pay from his old job. took over two hours but we had a good time talking and looking at how that area is all built up from the last time I was through there....(he was through there last week so no surprise to him)
Now I am not ordinarily dumb enough to think I can travel for any length of time in a car with perfume on.... I don't know what demented twisted idea I had this morning that I could........

yup yup I was sick part of the way......
so here I am rolling DOWN the windows and trying to turn off the heat and poor Bernie who doesn't have heat in his truck so is enjoying the van AND also just fixed the heat in the van is trying in vain to stay warm........
he turned the heat up I rolled the window down more....... almost hanging my head out....which isn't really a good look for a dog let alone a middle aged woman........
THEN
I got a hot flash.
.
.
.
Ok I am thinking....... God must be a man.....as no woman would do that to another woman......I don't care WHAT the other woman did..... ok well except maybe for a couple of transgressions.

tune in next time for the OLD and
Menopausal

when vi decides to go to an ice flow in the antartic and commune with penguins, will the van start? will the van float? will Thaddeaus go and torment the polar bears?
will Calpurrnia find leaves to play with amongst the penguins? (la la la) Will Amber stop puking on the leather chair? and will Poor Bernie the SAINT finally get heat in the truck????

Larry, Moe & Curly really ARE running the universe

I know I know, I keep saying this but once again it seems to be true.

Larry, Moe & Curly ARE running the universe.

today for instance, it started out with cat puke on my leather computer chair, which made me have to CLEAN, ( and I am still shuddering from it)

which delayed my caffeine intake,

which delayed my updating the blog

which delayed my daily work

which brings to............ (drum roll please) THE SCANNER

ok so I was scanning the articles I wrote, and the articles on my work, as I am setting up an online gallery of my work.

everything was going well, the scans were the right size, etc.

when suddenly the twain interface froze.

now you know that sickening feeling you get right before the ceiling comes crashing down on your head............

yes THAT feeling.....

well it was worse then that.

I swear soiled underware was involved.

( I doubt that one was the cat.......)

ok so no problem right???

I will go through another application and pick up the images through there right?

WRONGO

ok ok

so I will uninstall and reinstall the program right no problem, it will take a bit maybe what? 20-30 minutes right?

4 hours later.........

I finally got it to install........SOMEWHERE

it isn't on the hard drive, it isn't in the program files

but it says

IT IS INSTALLED ( imagine a deep very throaty voice intoning this as gospel)

no shit sherlock, WHERE?

I swear it is Larry, Moe and CURLY

it has to be the Stooges as this doesn't just happen right?

oye

ok so now what do I do?

I manually remove any thing and everything remotely involved in this install..........

I use their uninstall app............ which uninstalls the twain driver about 5 times

and then tells me to reboot

NOPE

so I packed it in for today

I am hoping that the computer has a better day tomorrow

now...........

in my mind I am lying on a warm beach....... sunlight filtered through palm fronds.......

I am getting VERY SLEEPY

I am GETTING VERY VERY sleepy

I am relaxed

I am not throwing the scanner through the studio windows

I am not strangling folks that are playing head games

I am not sitting here with frozen toes and a dead scanner....

hahahaha

til next time

vi

doing the Friday shuffle

ok ok, I'm up
it is 8:30, I been up since 5 but got caught having to CLEAN.
there needs to be legislation to the effect that cleaning is to be performed between 10am and 11am only in spring, summer and fall. NEVER in winter, and never before the sun comes up.
you don't want to know what I had to clean....... ok if you have CATS you will know what I had to clean up..... yup yup..... word to the wise......always wear slippers.
The offending cat is currently sitting on my shoulder purring ........ I won't name names but you would think she learned something in the past 4007 years.
all this BEFORE coffee......it is amazing I can type at all

I would like to discuss ego
yes still without coffee, and what constitutes normal healthy ego, from the evil alter ego......'little Napoleon"
and what brought this up??? ( yes I did hear you asking)
well actually an email from a stranger, who I am assuming is a nice person and innocent. In this email I was 'patiently explained to' (this is the assumption that she is nice and trying to help someone she doesn't have any idea about) except, it is in connection with me teaching something.......which would obviously mean I probably SHOULD know what I was talking about.
now I did not bite her head off...... which is probably a very good thing as she would not be happy about being headless and all.
however it did get me annoyed, this was followed by a second email......where another area was explained to me....which made me laugh as I have written and been published in that area.
I still have not bitten her head off
as I don't know how to tell her these little facts without being a bitch, because I do think that she is innocent and trying to be helpful.

I also realized that newbies do this to old timers a lot......they do it online on forums and boards, and they do it in real life.
I remember my mentors, who were women of grace, manners and breeding in the old fashioned 'lady' sense of the word, how would they have handled this?
anyway this is part of my dilemma today, this and trying to get this base done without my rocks
oh and cat puke on the leather chair......
til next time

The Wisdom of posting prior to coffee?

It is now 6:30am, I have been up since 5 am....
( don't believe that early bird thing, and who the hell in their right minds would want a freeken worm anyway, at any time?)
today I am tired,
I don't know why but I am (gee maybe I really AM older then dinosaurs?)
I could sleep all day I think, however I dragged my hulking carcass out of bed......( hey what do you expect for 6am? poetry? I really did drag me you know)
(amber the cat this morning, she allowed me to take her picture)

I have so much to do today, and I have to do it in town.
now it is been colder then anything in these thar parts of the woods, so going out in this weather for me is insane.
never mind that Bernie the saint drags his ass out in this weather BEFORE 5 am to leave for work, and drives over an hour with no heat in his truck, the man is a saint I tell you.
however if I had farm animals, I would be out in the barn at this time, as that is what I did WHEN I did have farm animals.
ok so I am waiting for sunrise, which doesn't appear to be happening this morning so far..... maybe the sun is tired too today?

anyway, to town today, for double point needles in a length and size sufficient to finish this hat, for some more worsted weight cause I am insanely going to do yet another hat?
(my violets on the window)

I also have to do the base for the class at the doll college, I am giving that class, not taking it.
I can't figure out how to teach folks to sculpt so I won't be doing a doll sculpting class, and I don't sell bisque so I won't be teaching a dressing etc class.
I do however make some nice dolls, and occasionally a really kick ass doll.

I have so much to get done lately and of course like most folks I am a bit behind.....mainly in the housekeeping department. (we have named the dust bunnies, as they are now bigger then the cats. )

I am also looking forward to kidding and lambing season at Carole's farm, "Lilac Corners" I will be helping with the cashmere's combing while everyone is helping with the kidding.......they have 24 does that are due between February 14, and April something or other..... and two ewes that are in lamb to a BFL...... now to the non fiber folk amongst you all....... baby goats and lambs are acoming to the farm about 60 of the little guys are due.
all the goats will be bottle fed for a while so Carole will need a lot of help, as that is a LOT OF GOATS and a LOT OF BOTTLES.
Kris is expecting at least 4 lambs at her farm, one of which is mine, however due to zoning, it will be going in the freezer unfortunately instead of the yard.

I am trying to figure out how to keep a list on the side of this blog, I want to put the links to the folks I read regularly, and also a list of the projects I am doing or need to do by what date.
I have to get into the source coding for this site again, and I am too freeken lazy to do it
it actually isn't that I can't find my way around the HTML, it is that I get confused easily and am too lazy.

gee I really should NOT post prior to a gallon of coffee huh? as I am in some weird ass twilight sleep state akin to truth serum.......... and we all know how bad THAT can be, am I right?

on the Laperm front, Thaddeaus and Calpurrnia think they need to come out of the crates as soon as I come down in the morning........ now where did they get that lame ass idea?
yeah right, turn the demons, ..............ah I mean darlings loose before I am alive?
anyway, Thaddeaus was doing that cute roll on his back and stick his paw out of the crate door 'please mom, may I come out' thing that tears me.........
If that cat were a human, we all would have trouble, as he is a real charmer....... and he knows it.
Calpurrnia is .............well she is............ ah............... she is CUTE AS A BUTTON.
Thaddeaus the evil genius is plotting to over throw the government ( that would be me in his world) to eat ALL THE CANNED CAT FOOD........... and Calpurrnia is playing with a leaf going 'lala la..........la la la'
sad but true, she is not quite as smart as her brother.
however that being said........and yes yes it is true, she is CUTE AS A BUTTON............ and them blue eyes......

gees 6 am is not the best time for me to post huh?
all the secrets come out
well I am still not telling how two sort of middle aged people could break a Sterns & Foster solid oak Box spring on the bed........ cracked it in two places........
THAT secret will have to wait until I learn to drink alcohol so come back in like 30 years.....
til next time
vi

Decreases my posterior*** ( word changed to protect the offendable)

Ok first off.......... I am thinking I am decrease challenged...... ( ok well OBVIOUSLY I am decrease challenged if anyone looked at the size of my ass lately-talk about Rhode Island)
however in this case I am talking about my knitting decreases on the top of my very second color knitted hat......

( please ignore anything that looks like tension issues, if I do have them, I will of course let everyone know after I finish and block this)
ok what was I telling you all about? ah.......... decreasing.............
ok well I was knitting the crown part of the hat, being oh so careful.
you see those little chart things have a nasty habit of jumping around, or maybe I need bifocals? and the stitches multiply on the needles when I am not looking...... I can just imagine them getting all romantic and such....... boom we have a LITTER......... WELL hello, I DID not absentmindedly knit 16 more stitches on there did I? not MOI,..........
I don't have enough of a mind to BE absent........
ok well I ripped it back stitch by stitch by stitch............... and found out I had accidently caught one of the back strands as a stitch........ that will teach me to knit at 5 am without at least three maybe four gallons of coffee and eyelid surgery to keep my eyes open huh?
teach me good
oye

what AM I doing up at 5am?

Apparently doing dishes!
Bernie's first day was a huge sucess, he IS finally busy at work again. He was happy but very tired last night when he got in at 7......... that is a long day, 5am he leaves to 7pm he returns.
And to think, we used to live 1/2 hour away from where he is now working.....
oye

Amber the 17 year old senile cat.......( 'i'm dying mom, I swear to you, but first let me eat this little bit of cheese, oh and a bit of tuna and roast beef? ok I can go some............. but remember, I AM dying mom...... " .......SURE Amber, now come down off that 6' tall bookcase with your dying self and have a snack) appears to have a slight cold, I gave her the Sinus and warmth stuff the Vet gives her, ( chinese herbs and they work wonders) She isn't sneezing this morning so I gave her a second dose. She will be fine by tonight and again back to her daily dying........
if any of my friends wonder where I get it from...... I get it from the CAT.

We are to go to VA soon, to pick up Thaddeaus and Calpurrnia's Great Gramma, She is currently named Fawn, and we will probably change it to something that is Ancient Greek or possibly Roman, to go with the names Thaddeaus and Calpurrnia. She has lived her life of over 5 years in a cage. Here she will have her own room for a couple of months, then be turned out into the main house with the rest. I am hoping that Thaddeaus has matured a lot by then.

Lets see, soap news, I have a possible new outlet, I will be sending samples off I think this week.
I have to do vender packets too this week, if I remember. And the one vender that still hasn't paid I am going to take to court.

Fiber news, I am up to the top band of the second hat, about to start the last crown part. I hope that is done in a few days as I am very anxious to see it finished.
''behold you see a dream forfilled"
I have always wanted to learn to color knit.............. and now I have...... I finally feel like a real knitter. yeah!!!
I will be starting my wheel fund, as lately I don't get to spin on the hand spindles....... so a wheel fund is going to be started. Lendrum DT here I come.
OHOHOH
coffee is ready, so I will write more and possibly post a picture later
ti next time
vi