one pen down and happy birthday bernie

today is bernie's birthday, he is 55
i have known him since i was 15 and he was 17, give or take a driver's license and a few months
we've been married 33 years through ups and downs and all arounds
let me tell you, he sure doesn't look like what anyone would think a 55 year old guy looks like- but aging actually is agreeing with him, which it does a lot of times with men.
me, i am aging like entrails in the hot august sun.......basically sinking in and putrefying

the pullets are in the fridge, i was going to stew them but i am wondering if they would be ok to BBQ?
maybe not- they are 16 months old.
anyway, i started to clean their pen, and got that finished yesterday, i will move the old hens over do their pen and then do the new pullets pen

i also had a half a glass (with a ton of ice) of some home made  hard apple cider up the hill at georgie's house-
now i don't drink, and also with the pcos and the 11b it's really not a good idea for me to drink....at all PERIOD
this was a big first for me for the most part
i won't make it a habit but let me tell you, yesterday afternoon i needed something

i hurt all over, i think that i can't haul like i used to, menopause seems to have affected my strength, as i age i am getting weaker and weaker, even though i am trying to increase the load bearing work so that i stay strong- i just am not staying strong
it could be a cumulative effect due to the illnesses, they do mess with hormones big time-
i am taking on more and more of bernie's chores in addition to mine, and i am falling more and more behind in a lot of stuff.
if i do the wood or duck or chicken pens, really all i have time for after is some drawing and maybe start supper
i am going to have to see if i can start work at 5 am i think and work until bernie gets in
bernie's average day now is from 4:30am to 9:00 pm........ me, i fall down at about 4 pm
i've pretty much had it
if i push it much beyond that i start getting shaky

( and i don't get a whole lot of sympathy really from anyone, i keep hearing how 'i work ten times harder' not only from bernie but from a LOT of men either my age or young young women!- huh? anyone remember, i am actually a SICK old lady?)

so i am wondering if i need to make some decisions? now i won't give up the poultry, and i want my garden, and canning. so something has to give here.
i can't give up my drawing.
housework i think i can live without
and if i can just get poultry coops that are either easier to clean OR tools that make it easier maybe that would help.
i thought my wood cart would help but during deep snow it's not useful-
so i need to figure some stuff out
maybe a door on the 'low' side of the studio to bring wood into......
(maybe how about we move to a more user friendly house and neighborhood?)
anyway, this just proves that no matter what...... life is always a balancing act
(or that the more money we seem to make, the harder i seem to have to work physically......HUH? how'd that happen?)