duckie names..... weather change......

well it's that time........( haven't we had this conversation before?)

the duckies are to be named

i suppose that is the ritual of ownership or relationships or family ties even

naming............. giving a name,........... recognition

whether it's naming a child, pet or just labeling a person as 'my friend'
the saying of that seems to mark the occasion, and relationship as important,
setting it off in your mind as an individual worthy of thought and consideration.
making it real-er somehow

it would seen to be a primal urge
which links us back to our first ancestors that walked up right and gazed with wonder on the world around

we have whole ceremonies surrounding this
naming of ships with champagne
naming of buildings with ribbons
naming of children with religious ritual

now...... i come to the naming of the duckies
for us it signifies ......'you are staying here'
for we did not name the boys, nor the ones leaving

now it is clear they are staying.....the time for naming is here

now forgive me for being so philosophical today.....
i was up at 4:30 am reading a book a friend gave me
it's rattled my brain i finished it at 8am......
and it is still stuck in the corners of my mind

i found myself wondering ............. how many stories in life do not have happy endings.....where all the ends are woven in...... neatly trimmed up and presented

i know in my life....
some things just ...........ended
abruptly in some cases..... and i was very grateful for that
but still no lessons learned
no insights
no explanations
just..........
events strung out with no connections

then there are some things that are gloriously connected..... light blazing laser lights which are amazing to see

today i wonder how come i am not on my farm yet

i am not quite sure why no

i know the economy, and housing market etc....

but still i wonder why?

i feel in a holding pattern
at times

which has made me determined to NOT stop doing
even if it has to be here........

because i can't see putting my life on hold waiting for the farm
so
i do here
i plan on putting in fruit trees
because three years ago i wanted to
i held off because we 'were going to move'
we're still here
those trees would have been bearing now

if we move........ok i will replant
but i am determined now
not to wait....not to hold off
to take whatever i can with what i have here

to make as much as a farm here as i can
it may be the only farm i ever get
or
it may be the preliminary to the farm of my dreams.....
i don't know
i wish i did know
but i am determined............ the picture of the life in my head......

i want it
and it doesn't matter where i am

i am intending on living it


on that note
here is a list of some of the duckie names i am thinking of


phoebe
psyche
valentina
bia
bianca
ortensia
cordelia
octavia
luciana
candida
aldora ( which is cool as it means 'winged gift')
damiana
immacolata
liliana



til next time

vi

ahhhhhhhhhhh October!!!!

welcome october
happy happy october 1st everyone

today it is raining
on and off

i found our woodpile uncovered and the wood was getting wet

to celebrate october though
i plan on roasting a fruit stuffed pork loin
i know i really should wait for the weekend and serve it with baked acorn squash
and scalloped yukon gold potatoes.......or should i roast them with garlic and parsley?
but i may just do it today anyway
happy october and happy hump day?



i got some dried peach slices.......and i think i will soak them in some cherry juice left from making danish cherries.....
then add THAT all to cornbread stuffing
and stuff the pork loin
how does that sound?

i wish it was a bit cooler in a way
i could start the woodstove
but it's not
which is good for the garden
as there are some plants i would like to lift
oh well

happy october everyone
doable?

rubber duckie in the rain..............

well it's raining
i believe it is a hurricane or something like that but up the coast so we are just getting a lot of rain
and slugs
can't forget the slugs

the duckies are not too happy with all the rain
apparently even duckies have a limit as to the amount of dampness they can happily endure

today one of the girls jumped on my sweet little baby girl duckie

bernie took her and put the mean one in with falstaff.....who proceeded to jump on HER

guess payback is a bitch

so as you all heard, one of the duckies is the SWEETIEST thing in the universe
she comes running up to us
'pet me pet me'
and we do
it's them blue eyes
she is so sweet and so gentle...... she takes tiny berries from your hand without hurting you
that duck is getting a pension and diapers and may just come in the house to live

i love that duck
i need a NAME for that duck.....no?

she's got more karuncling on her face then the others.....scared me that she was going to turn into a boy
but she still is sweet and chirpy not raspy and ungainly

and she has an egg bulge developing
so she is a she
thank goodness

cause i do so love that duck

now
in other news
bernie had some rough news, he's got to replace the timing chain in his truck
so in the mean time
he's got MY truck and i am..........well........

without

i think seriously i need a horse and buggie
this is getting out of hand
i NEVER have wheels!

oh and thems of yous that are watching
he has not gained an oz
he's still about 125-135 and got me frantically worried
but he's burning about 4500 to 5000 calories a day at work
and not replacing enough of them

i am going out of my mind

he's getting cookies with extra nutrition in them
deviled eggs and cheeses for breakfast
extra milk and cream and butter for suppers

i don't know what all else to do


in garden news
my one zuke that i thought was my beloved san pasquale........turned out to be a yellow zuke!
and NOW it's got zukes on it?
NOW?
it's the end of the season!

oye
i so would love to hoop it and the pattypans and the peppers

instead i am going to dig up the eggplant and some peppers and put them in the house in pots
we'll see

i am also going to put the one big planter in the house with lettuce and spinach
and maybe try for another one with chard?
it will be cool enough i think in the living room

now that the truck needs a timing chain.....
i am thinking that the hoop house and freezer is not in my future

oye

well ..........we'll see

til next time

vi

a favorite duckie, and ramblings

one of the babies that stayed, is such a sweet little thing.
we suspect that is the one that falstaff doesn't like
she comes over to me and crouches for me to pick her up and pet her
i love that duck
she is going to be a house duck i think
after this entire summer of duck raising
which wasn't easy btw
( i lost some weight ........most i suspect i left on the hill out back every time i fell)
at least ONE duck is a sweetie

in fiber news.....the socklet is coming along
i feel like knitting now!
i guess trish really is slapping me up the side of the head
i also feel like sewing etc
but i still miss her horribly........

so many times i just want to call her and tell her 'hey look at this'
or 'hey what do you think of that'


in gardening news.......
i am thinking of lifting about 5 pepper plants....... cutting them back and putting them in buckets to either keep inside or try and winter over to plant out again next year

a lot of folks ( me included!) didn't know peppers are actually perennial plants
and if i can keep them over the winter that would get me a huge jump on spring and next years peppers for some of the late season varieties

i would also like a hoop house/coldframe/green house

part of my garden woes this year were due to a colder then normal august
it was more like late september

so a hoophouse or tunnel would have moderated that

one of the members on my canning group suggested a cattle panel hoophouse
another one suggested roll up sides.....
i am going to certainly look into that

that cattle panel hoop house also has another thing that is intriguing about it
one of the websites i have had occasion to visit......keeps their CHICKENS in it over the winter.....along with the plants ( separated by wire so the chickens can't EAT the plants)
they also keep the chickens above a 'worm pit'
so the wormies get the droppings
as well as the stuff pulled off the veggies
the chickens get a few wormies now and again
the veggies get the castings
the chickens add to the warmth of the winter hoophouse
all is happy in the world.........

i would like to do that
and if i can figure a way to make it predator proof.....i just may try for it

it doesn't look too hard to do by myself

maybe with a bit of help from vicki......
cause bernie doesn't have time

i am concerned about the economy,
i do think however it will get better once the elections are over

i think the unsettled effect that always goes along with the elections is heightened by not only the ethanol/corn problem and the weather
but also by the immensely historic times we are living in
a black man/or a woman in the office

hmmmmmm

i wonder what the founding fathers are thinking now

i can just see them sitting around some colonial drop leave table in heaven....with a glass of rum and a clay pipe.......(or some claret)

watching us and debating on the outcome


i wonder if they are ok with the directions we went in?

i guess they are as the most important thing i think they tried to insure was freedom

total freedom

til next time


vi

it's FALL ........FINALLY!!!

fall and spring are my two favorite season.
but fall holds a very special place in my heart
i have so many wonderful memories of fall leaves
of coming home to our fireplace lit
apple cider from Tice's farm
mom's red kidney bean soup

the colors of fall are amazing and phenomenal
the SMELLS of fall are lush, decadent and intoxicating
add that sort of crisp snap to the air
and a cozy sweater while raking leaves..........

what is not to love?


unfortunately Tice's cider is no more ( it really was the best cider i have EVER in my life tastes, i would love to know the varieties and % of apples that went into it)

and we have the woodstove, as we don't use the fireplace......( the cats would just think it a HUGE kitty litter box anyway)

but i still make mom's bean soup
and i still rake leaves in a cozy sweater

now leaves are used as duck bedding and shredded for the garden
THEN leaves were burnt

anyone remember that smell?

i fear this fall will be less colorful then falls past
we went down to stockerton saturday to pick up new gaskets for the woodstove door, and on the way back i commented to bernie about the colors......... it looked more like november then early fall

my big sugar maple turned in AUGUEST.....( the 280 year old one....the others are still green) and it was much redder then other years

i am still finishing up the winter stocking
still have some meat and more veggies to get

we got 200# of potatoes although no leighighs this year.......figures......
they are the VERY BEST bakers i have ever had
but it appears to be a good year for potatoes as the russets aren't bad and neither are the yukons .........the yukons better be as we got 150 pounds of them
the last 50 are baby's and i got them for 7.50 for the bag....
i had planned on canning them
bernie plans on making parsley potatoes with them

i think i will leave him a couple pounds but i plan on canning them for soup

now if you are a fiber person

i have what could be an announcement to make

i have started knitting again i think, i am just done with the toe of a toe up sock
in regia 'clown' on size 1 needles.....( i know....2-3 but i don't like loose fabric on socks)

we did a break in fire on the woodstove and i picked up my needles.....that and it's been COLD here at night

i can just hear trish now....... ( she approves i think ........what do you all think?)

AND bernie found my BALL WINDER!!!!!!!!!!
i haven't seen that in 25 years!
it's fine and works great so i am please....... it sure beats handwinding 1800 years of lace weight no?

even though i adore my pink ivory wood noste

so with that in mind......rhinebeck here i come

oh and Bob sent me 2 bags of alpaca lace weight from trish
so that is like 3300 yards
i have no idea what she had in mind for it
maybe a shirt?
i won't knit me a shirt with it, as i suspect i would need a tad MORE then that
sooooooooo
the question is........ 3300 yards....... what on earth should i make
it has to be something i finish.....
cause it will be my momento from our trish

vi

ps: i baked bernie pumpkin muffins yesterday, defrosted the last of last years pumpkin pulp ..........

now it's time for THIS years pumpkins
i think i am going to dry them this year

til next time

warning......not for the faint or soft of heart

sharon the chicken died, on her third birthday

i had bernie put her in a box and i took her little corpse outside
bernie was to have put her out back so she could rest in pieces
(we live on rock......no underground burials.......not without explosives)

well he went out this morning to open the duck crates and discovered that sharon is no longer in her little box

i doubt highly that she resurrected and went her little chicken way

i believe something got a free dinner last night
which is ok
it's natures way

however that does point up a problem i have with the poultry right now

the predator battle

now predation is never easy on a flock owner.....nor is it pretty

serafina was ripped apart savagely
there was blood and feathers and entrails all over the place
and covered by flies as well........


we have it somewhat under control right now
but as the weather cools down........
as the assholes continue to blast and build on the mountain behind us......
as prey population moves on due to habitat destruction.....

the facts will continue to be ......... the predator battle

you can't blame them

there is a nice fat WARM poultry dinner, just clucking.....of chirping behind that thar FENCE

and they gotta make a living too
they have a family to feed.......
little hungry bellies no?


but not MY birds

so now we have to think about hot wire i think for the inner duck pen
and when the chickens go out
as they MUST

we need to get hot fence for them as well

probably solar assisted




the jackass neighbor has one of them wire cage/pen/storage thingies for the small BBQ propane tanks such as you see outside of walmart etc........

i think that would be a wonderful inner predator proof poultry pen


now.......where do i get one???



vi

oh and ps

i am looking for seeds for an ORANGE pattypan squash...............

in america if possible

if anyone knows drop me an email please?

thank you all ever so much

patty pan squash is a very good thing

i harvested about 4 small (3-4 inches) yellow patty pans
if you haven't tried a patty pan

listen
slice it into some hot olive oil with a bit of sauteed onion, some sweet red peppers, a bit of garlic and a final sprinkling of kosher salt

cook the patty pan until it is slightly brownish on each side
oh and i also added fresh green beans cause that's what i picked today from the garden

this is heaven

believe me

even bernie who 'hates' squash had a HUGE helping
and
ATE IT ALL

then suggested a hoop house so i can get my stuff in earlier and hopefully keep it longer

today i harvested a lot of peppers
no where near the amount i had hoped to get out of the 30 plants i had out there
but at least enough to make a few jars of either salsa
or peppers and onions for meats

i also started to harvest the wonderberries......so unfortunately have the birds

this season was a disappointment in the garden

i know i am not alone in feeling that way

between the cold.....
the rain
my being ill
trish dying ( see trish it's all your fault)which threw me into a real depression,
THE DAMN DUCKS FROM HELL
then the colder then normal august
well.......

we have a terrible garden this year

canning season was a disappointment as well
i couldn't get any produce in quantity or of QUALITY enough to can
and the garden was late......and no where near as productive
the ground hog ate a LOT of cabbages on me as well
i hope the brussels sprouts do well

but i think the leeks are not going to
nor do i think the cabbages will every get a nice sized head on them


In family news
my sister in law colleen got her dog off galveston island
and she is looking for a place to rent on the mainland
her home is totally devastated
she couldn't even salvage clothing
they have truly lost everything
they had small rental houses that they had lived in, fixed up then rented
they are also devastated

they worked so very hard to fix these little houses up to rent with the idea that once they retired, they would sell them.....that was their retirement fund

it's all gone


in chicken news
i am so sorry to report that sharon the chicken has died
today is their third birthday as well
we don't know why,
we think it was a retained egg
we at first thought she was broody
but when we couldn't break the brood....

the other girls appear fine
the ducks are fine as well

(knock on wood)

so we'll see
i put her outside in a box

since there isn't actual dirt to bury her in
( the construction up the mountain blast all day long cause it's ALL ROCK)

we will put her out for the fox and other animals

it's natures way anyway

so she will rest in peices like her brother larry the chicken

i am going to have to get some more laying hens though
the ducks will start soon
and i will be selling the eggs i can't use

i would like a laying flock of 12 if i could
then i get a dozen, more or less a day......and i can sell what i don't use
which will FEED the laying flock of 12


well we are off to sleep.......

til next time

vi

i think it's time for winter.......no?

i think i am ready to settle down to the rhythm of the woodstove

the twice a day hot stoke, and the every couple hour add a log......

to chicken stock simmering, and bread baking,
yogurt making, and even schlepping water to the ducks

i want to knit and spin again.....i can't believe i am starting to want to do that.......
i haven't really touched any fiber since trish died.
( except that swatch for jen at spirit trail)


i am by nature a bit of a hermit, i don't tend to stray too far from home. ( Georgie will be laughing her ass off about now and shaking her head yes)
so as the weather starts to chill and the leaves start to fall
i want to stay in as much as possible

which brings me to one of my secret joys of winter.......
planning the next garden!

THIS year (2009) i plan on elderberries!!! ( 10 plants oughta do it no?)
and blackberries ( probably 10 of these as well)
blueberries ( well these and cranberries you can NEVAH have too much of )
cranberries
and peaches!

(as we all know......peaches and nectarines are food for the gods.... grow as many as you can...........and then send them all to me!)

along with the small garden fruits i started to grow last year

as always i keep hoping that the real estate market picks up and we can sell and move on

i miss the sheep and the goat and want them home


in other news...........

colleen found their dog.....ALIVE
however her homes are all destroyed
she's basically homeless
thankfully she has insurance and fema is there helping
and of course she has us and raymond's family

i have a surprise for her, i have all the photo's she's given me of the kids etc......
she is going to be really upset when the realization hits that the pictures are all gone
the mementos are all gone

this much i can do for her

she is also probably not going to come up this fall as planned
soooooooooo

in keeping with the halloween traditions of our family
i am planning on sending a box of goodies to the kids
and to her and raymond...... i figure by the time it's halloween she'll have an address
even if it's a rental on the mainland

btw
today i think i am going to can tomato preserves
i got a LOT of tiny yellow cherries and the larger black plums
i was originally thinking salsa as i have enough jalapenos harvested
but maybe not huh?

i will decide i imagine...... when i finally get in the kitchen today

til next time

vi

ps: fiber folk......( you all know who you are)
i need an idea for a gazillion yards of a heathered brown/gray sport weight alpaca..... (20 skeins)
part of AZknitter's stash so it needs to be memorable

all is not well with my sister in law

it looks pretty bad for her homes in galveston.
she's trying to get in to see the damage
basically she is apparently homeless

i told her to come home here
bring everyone and just come the hell home
we will sleep on the floors if we have to
but everyone will be safe

i don't think she will be making her planned on visit in october this year
i haven't seen her for a while so i am going to be bitterly disappointed
but she doesn't even have a roof over her head or work clothes or a pillow to sleep on
so i more then understand

i just wish they would all come home

in other news

the DUCKS from hell

falstaff has taken a dislike to one of the ducks........
he's tormenting her
poor little thing hids in the back of the duck pen behind the coop
soooooooo
starting tomorrow that is going to be addressed
falstaff is not going to be happy about it either
as i am planning on Xpening him in the middle of the larger pen

bernie is feeling better from this cold or whatever he had.....

( damn him.....i get something and i am dyink for a month......
HIM....... a few days of sniffles
OR
if it's really bad...two days of fevers and then he's fine
doesn't seem right does it?)

the leaves are turning up here...have been since august
so naturally my garden picks THIS time to actually decide to produce
huh?
what happened to july and august?
NOW you decide beans and pattypans are a good thing?
55 day beans and 60 day pattypans......... took what? 95 freeken days?

yeah right

however the wonderberries are starting to ripen......and it is good......


vi
til next time

duck pens, snow loads and gardening thoughts

we spent the day re-roofing the duck pen

since the demise of my serafina
i haven't wanted to let my ducks stay in the pen
so every single day i would convince falstaff to go into a tiny crate and i would schlep him into the basement

surprisingly he did this willingly!

the three remaining babies too***

ok they are on their second night in the duck pen BUT
we have roofed over with fencing......wire fencing
and they are in crates........
with the doors against solid walls

and the radio going

i have a few more things to do to the pen to feel that it is 'safe' again

including a better woodend inner coop


the roof looks really wanky.....like them crazy roofs on the houses from that town in california
i am hoping it holds a snow load
i think it will


in looking around my poor garden
i realized that again i didn't get the paths covered and that let a lot of weeds grow
next year or maybe during the winter
i plan on putting down cardboard and newspaper and then some sort of mulch
bernie talked about raised beds but i am not holding my breath

i am thinking however
my friend joey used what looks like a swing set....but is not for upside down tomato growing
i think i am going to lift that idea
without tomatoes in the ground.....i can devote their bed to garlic and maybe eggplants

the other thing is
i want a hoop house
i would LOVE a greenhouse with under soil cables for heat for my beloved peppers
but a cold hoop house for winter greens would be ok too

i have decided to put in elderberries
at least they are native
they will give me a lot of fruit
i won't (maybe) have produce envy............

what's not to like? the bird stains on the cars?
please we got them anyway ( i want to know WHERE them buggers are getting thos berries from anyway)

i would also like blueberry, cranberry, blackberry and peach
sounds like a reasonable array no?

i thought so

til next time
vi



*** we had the boys processed on friday night, it's not a good feeling but it is what had to be done
i could not find homes for them
i did try
so
instead of a life in a tiny cage which is what would have had to happen
they lived a great life for 4 months and then they will go to feed us

hurricane in the gulf

my sister in law lives on galveston island
or maybe by tomorrow........it should be past tense?
lived?
she owns a few properties.......one she lives in the rest she rents.
they are modest dwellings for modest people
(actually she lived in each house, fixed it up, bought another fixer-upper, and moved....then rented the house she just moved from)

they evacuated and went up to huntsville tx
where my neice (her oldest daughter) is going for her masters degree

i keep trying to talk her into selling all the properties there and moving HERE

we will jointly buy a farm and she can open a B&B while i get to have my animals..... garden, preserve.......
spin, knit and make dolls
( and hopefully blog about it all)

i am thinking....... she may have no choice in the matter after this storm


in other news

i have butchered the drakes
more accurately, i have had them done

no one believed i would actually go through with it

well i did
i feel bad
but i was also resigned to it

i did however back out on the chickens

we couldn't keep the drakes, they were horney and fighting
they spent a very happy safe and protected joyful 'duckling hood'

and were either doomed to smallish pens alone........ or
the freezer

they are in the chiller now...... they await the freezer

i figured it was a quality of life thing at this point

i tried to sell them
no luck
so their life force is now in heaven
and they are going to feed us

i am shocked that i went through with it as well

but let's face it

i eat meat

nameless chickens, pigs, and cows

these will not have a name but they will not be unknown


i do believe...........
i have finally grown up



vi

Halloween movies 2008!

THIS is the link to last years halloween movie post

i don't have tv anymore so don't know if there are any other goodies that came out in the past year

anyone know of any?
nothing GORY
nothing so horrorific as to get you sick or scare you......(like the 'halloween' movies)

i swore i would add to our dvd collection but the most i got was sleepy hollow, and that was because the vhs ate the tape so i got it in dvd


i have to do something as my beloved and FAVORITE sister in law is coming for halloween
and we should so do a movie night
with popcorn and cookies

no?

tis the season


vi

OH be still my heart!~2 posts in one MONTH

i hope i found my way home now............

after yesterday's rain, and boy did it rain
i looked out today and expected dry pavement
silly me
the ground is still soaked
my laundry is still dripping!

the drakes need to be taken to the processor this weekend no later
( i sent an email to our attorney who is a duck hunter to see if he'd be willing....haven't heard back from him, then discovered....i sent it to his old email address!)

ok fixed that


now where was i?

ok vintage cookbooks

that's what is going on around here for interest lately

the older the better
vintage war years with rationing tips a plus
vintage war years CANNING books are always welcome

i am slowly trying to set in a hedgerow of fruits, i figure it couldn't hurt at all
starting i believe with barberry, which we have growing all over the place
(grows wild here for me..........EVERY thing grows wild here for me, mock orange, rose of sharon........ barberry)
i want to add cultivated blackberry, raspberry, blueberry and cranberries....
currants
gooseberrys
seaberry
honeyberry
elderberry
and maybe some grapes
bernie keeps killing my wild grapes off on me .......maybe if i put in cultivated ones?

all this is because i don't know how long or when we will get to move
so we need to literally bloom where we are planted

besides i think that the berries will add immeasurably to our life and to the property and maybe even to the wildlife in the area

not to mention all the juice and dried berries i will be putting up

and CRANBERRY sauce by the bucketfulls......

ok i didn't say i could stay long
the ducks need to go out

til next time

vi

long time no post

hihi my little neglected blog

i sort of forgot you in the rush of spring, duckling raising,
gardening
and mourning trish

i see you waited patiently for me
i'm glad to see you

let's see

i am just getting over a 'change of season' cold...it's a nasty one
i was out getting the duckling in with a temp of 102.8
(no, no one would help me, so i am not going to let the raccoon get them like the raccoon got my beautiful serafina may she RIP)

the drakes and two stewers are being processed i think this week

my truck is again on the road

potatoes are up to 15.00 a bag and no leighighs

my coffee pot dad gave me over 21 years ago bit the dust....i got the same one but the 2008 model, it was 1.99 more expensive then what he got me
i like it

Colleen is coming for halloween


the garden is finally starting to bear
but no where near enough
we had groundhog issues, drought
cold cold august.......
it's warmer now that it is september
the garden didn't do much
beans even didn't do as well as they should have and we are waiting for the cabbages
i hope the ground hog doesn't get any more of the brussels sprouts
i put in 15 and i think there are about 5-8 left

garden notes for this year are as follows
* prep most of the beds in the fall
* get a lot of veggies into containers also
* plant earlier
* use hoop tunnels and cold frames
* milk gallon cloches are also a good idea
* make the damn trellises over the WINTER
* don't listen to bernie about the tomato ARBOR, now i can't FIND one tomato
plant under the mess of the heirloom tangle
* fish emulsion is your friend
* start peppers EARLIER and tomatoes LATER ......peppers in january
Tomatoes in APRIL
* cabbages need to go out EARLY and get some really EARLY varieties
* start the sluggo a few days before planting
* start the nasturiums a few weeks before planting
* add flowers

i know everyone is feeling the rising prices of food and gas and well......just about everything.
i am seriously hoping that after this election, some things will calm down
i saw somewhere on the net that traditionally gas prices go up during the campaign and calm down (not return to the prior lows however) after the deed is done

i also understand the oil companies are showing an obscene amount of profit
bad for us
good for thier investors no?

i have decided to put in fruit bushes and trees here
as at this time it doesn't look like we will be moving any time soon

jackass hisself has left
mrs jackass was at first 'hosting' numerous men
then there were odd smells coming from there
acetone, ether, chlorine, pinesol, and a weird cat piss smell
i called the epa and also asked through back channels for the cops to look into this

the smells stopped

the big dog was clipped by a car
they got little yapper dogs there now

but for the most part now
things are relatively quiet

they were making damn sure i had nothing to call the cops on



that was this summer
how was your summer?



til next time.....which i hope isn't too far away


vi

just dial direct

i tend to have dreams
not in the martin luther king jr sense.....( although i do have those type as well but we are talking about sleeping dreams)

anyway, i tend to have dreams that either are real, happen or furnish me with some sort of information i need

this morning i was woken up three seperate times by dreams from a person i haven't heard from in 4 years
the last dream was disturbing, as it involved one of the kids

so i tried to call. the number has been changed
ok
i emailed

i am waiting to see if daemon mailer kicks it back
i wouldn't be surprised


this all leads me to thinking about just how interconnected and yet unaware we all really are

and about that old attribute called 'the sight'

yes i do have 'the sight' and i have always had it
although at times through my life it's been a bit ragged and perhaps needed glasses
i think everyone has it
cops use it daily
as do successful buisness people
and a million other living things

but now while i try and brush the aftermath of the last very disturbing dream from my mind, i can't help but wonder about this attribute

i can see the use, but also why can i not use it like the tool it is obviously ment to be
why do i not have more control over it
my sister in law thinks we aren't ment to have that sort of control over it
but i think we should
like any other tool no?

ok anyone else out there have the use of this attribute?

please by all means let me hear from you all


vi

the search for ancestors

Apparently every late winter to late spring I get the urge to find my past
Last year I found my paternal grandmother, her family, my paternal grandfather and part of his family and my dad’s siblings
I found a few of mom’s side

This year is apparently the year of the maternal grandfathers

I went looking for my mom’s mom, and her father…….. and I found HIM and HIS father
As well as a couple of his siblings
I don’t know my mother’s mom’s maiden name……BUT I have the information to get her death certificate as well as my mom’s birth certificate
I am still looking for her fathers mother……whom, apparently I am named after as was she…… but there is some confusion about HER mothers name….i could also be named after her but I am not sure

I keep talking to my ancestors while I do this
Asking them to cut me a break here………….. let me find SOMETHING of you all
I also ask them to send me 3 million dollars in a winning lotto ticket but that is besides the point…….

( well it IS the least they can all do no?)

meanwhile, I have cousins and such out there……..from both sides……
first cousins on my mom’s side
my cousin stevie romano and his sister anita romano…….. their other sister marie may still be alive as well….
I don’t know if my uncle jack had kids……. Or my uncle carlos but I think they both did……
They would be covino…. Carlos’ would be in California
Uncle jack’s would I imagine be in NY state

It’s sort of addicting
I almost have enough to start searching in italy if I wish to
But the garden is about to be opened for spring…….
Canning season started more or less….( ok so it never really ends does it…..canning season or gardening I mean)

I will be getting too busy to search through websites for ancestors…….
I am I realize one of the lucky ones……my people came through ellis island and rather recently at that…… I can find a lot of them
(except my mother’s paternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother….for some reason the gramma’s aren’t ready to be found yet)
anyway…… I am happy I am back on the net…… Bernie said a new computer is soooooooo in my future……. When I see it…..i will believe it
if I get a new one…….DSL is also in my future….
How about THAT?

Ok till next time

vi

What a nightmare
It all started a few months ago, my internet service provider overcharged me by a month and a half
Without thinking I paid it.
Then they told me……
‘you don’t have to pay us, we’re paid up’
ok
I didn’t pay them for the months of the overage
Then without warning they shut me off!
At the pole, not even at the office!

Huh?
Wait I paid you, I paid you too much……….
I went to a friend’s house got online, and paid them
Apparently I STILL paid them too much as now they owe me money!

I tried to call them, the customer service people I got on the phone were……to be polite, complete and total idiots

And didn’t CARE that I had over paid, that they had told me not to pay them

And my emails…….my accounts were all wiped out!

Without a word to me…no warning

She said to me ‘we called you’

I said…….i NEVER got a call

Well we called you

Ok……………………………………( you do NOT want to know what I was thinking at that point……let’s just say, it wasn’t anywhere near polite nor politically correct)

And since I pay my bills on line and you wiped out my account……how could I even try to see what was going on?

Now Bernie said to me…….just pay them or whatever and get the internet back……..

Ahhhhhhhhhh……………
No

I wouldn’t have minded the snaffoo if the customer service wasn’t so freeken flippant about it all
But I have had it with this isp
The email box has been messed up for two years now……it’s on their end……
Finally one tech said……’try changing your password, as it’s on our end’

Next began my adventures in outsourced customer service to foreign countries.
After speaking to goodness only knows how many Indian from India accented people……who did not apparently know how to deal with a computer with Win98SE, nor could they understand WALL phone filters,
NO NIC card…..i have firewire……
Rest assured they were mostly very polite
and tried really really HARD to give me 'american' names
the funniest one was 'ummmmmmUNDY'

i asked him to spell that...... ANDY
hahahahahaha

his accent was so damn thick i KNEW that if ANDY was his real name.....he was a total gonner

and btw, he didn't know what the hell he was talking about as i had been given a test access number/username and password to see if i could use thier system.... ( aol.... shame on aol)
and it didn't work.
UMUNDY told me that they didn't do that kind of thing.....

the guy right before him did

oye

Well except the sleezy from peoplepc, who kept telling me without the code he couldn’t give me the discount.
And kept having to ask his manager…….

I was put on hold for I swear three weeks……

Ok I found an American based company……local even
They aren’t as cheap as the foreign based companies
However, they spoke ENGLISH, and they HELPED ME
And we are now connected, even though it’s dial up….it’s faster dial up
They helped me over a glitch in my system too
Lovely woman that had me laughing, ( ok so I tried to give her a duckling too)
And in approximately 10 minutes, I had internet service….. with a SMILE and a person who actually understood English AND was helpful AND polite AND did what she said she was going to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What a concept


vi

we soooooooooo have to stop the foreign outsourcing

so i am paying a bit more for my internet......i think it's worth actually having service that i can understand and that is helpful

happy tax day

April 14, 2008

A few random thoughts

My lettuce is up…..i can’t wait for the first of our salads
( I think I posted how I make them prior to this)
I want to expand the garden which I have often spoke of on this blog
Over and over I think

I also want to move
So the sheepies and goatie can come home…….

Now I put in a bunch of different lettuces and other green salad type plants, I go out daily and speak to the seedlings in the buckets on the deck.
I remember my momma going in the yard in the spring and harvesting dandelion greens, and I am doing that too……but I am giving them to Serafina……after all she is expecting………sorta

Bernie is late tonight,
I am having a sort of menstrual period, not a totally normal one….but all the symptoms and none of the red blood
It confused the hell out of me for a while….. I was all weepy again…..which isn’t really like me, unless my heart is broken ( I still cry over trish, damn I miss her)
I am a bit depressed as well. It’s probably just a reaction to the past few months, and the loss of my friend.
And I am very very tired.

You would think that this would be covered in the owners manual….or at least in a service pack or something…..ANYTHING…. damn thing sneaks up on you and whomps you over the head like bricks

We paid our taxes today, all year I worry and sweat over paying them. For 2008 I will only have to worry about local…….not state and local anymore…..
That will help me a lot

I have to decide on firewood, I think we ended up using 5 cords give or take….
I suppose that is what I will replace.

I want my grain mill already…… oye
I got my wheat and barley and hopefully soon my oats. I got rice put in, ( I have to put the second sack in the freezer this week, then dry can it)
I am hoping for a goodly amount of meats to can soon, and I hope as always for an abundant harvest
Plus that hoop house to grow and harvest veggies through the winter…that will help me a LOT
With that and the root cellar, and the canning shelves….. not to mention the stuff I dry, we should be in good shape…..
YES I am thinking of NEXT winter already……
I also need to find the time to make soap in the next few weeks
Right now however, the garden has me totally absorbed. We put manure and compost on two beds, and covered one with tarps and one with black plastic.
I have 5 more beds to do like that yet…..
Possibly 6
I am going to put some mini hoops with clear plastic over some beds to get a bit of a jump on the tomatoes and peppers, as well as some pumpkins and zucchini I think…. I wonder if the eggplant would be happy like that early?
I can do that over a couple of beds actually…..not the beans and cucumbers……or the broccoli’s, cauliflowers or cabbages of course…..

Thankfully……. While surfing the net over the years……I downloaded a LOT of information to cd’s
I have been taking this no internet time to quietly go mad……. To spend my time going through all this information. There is a considerable amount
But I am enjoying it to a point….. I will be really happy when I have full time internet back however

Thaddeaus has gained back all the weight he lost while sick…… he is now again a solid hefty little boy. You can feel almost three vertebrae in his back, and he’s got a nice covering over his ribs
My boy is solid again AND still has fur! Thousands of curlies…….
What a good boy he’s been too, ok…….so he really hasn’t been a good boy…..i mean he is THADDEAUS PEABODY….. but he tries
Sorta………..
Occasionally……………..
When he’s hungry…………..
And I got fancy feast………

Oh ok so he’s really a bad boy…….but we love him
He’s happy tonight as I got the woodstove on again, it’s to go down past 30 overnight

Well that is the most of the news……

Til next time

vi

some posts while i was gone

Blog post for april 5 08

I am,

Without internet

It is a long story, but hopefully in 5-10 days I will be again with internet
I will be on dsl.

So I am typing this in word……which keeps capitalizing things for me.
I just type and it inserts capitals!

Now while I am waiting for internet, I am planning on moving my seedlings on to larger quarters, hardening some off, adding more little starter pots ( mainly cottage garden flowers now)

As you all know if you saw my previous post with the pictures of the 3 week old seedlings, I have a green thumb.
And I got a bit heavy handed with the bachelor buttons, as well as the columbines, but hey, I CAN tuck a plant here and there if I need to……. After I plant the main cottage garden bed
Or I can nursery them over on the deck
OR I can even sell some if need be

I so wish for a greenhouse
And a cold frame hoop house

I discovered little finches eating my freshly sown lettuce and mache seeds…..one of the down sides of having bird feeders up and full of seed

Now back to the vegetable garden in the making,
As I repot the tomatoes into larger containers, I bury them deeper…..and put them into the windows.

There is no longer room under my lights I use to start the seeds and grow the seedlings with.
Very soon EVERY window will be crammed full of pots of tomatoes, cabbages, hollyhocks, marigolds, peppers and leeks………….
Very soon I will be rigging my sort of greenhouse/cold frame hardening off thing out on the deck
I use saw horses and narrow poles to drape plastic drop clothes on…..and nightly bring in the more tender plants

I had hoped for a hoop house and cold frame this spring so all the work and fuss of doing the sifting of the plants wouldn’t be happening but that is life

And I have finally come to a decision of what to plant on the fence that is a problem……..STINGING NETTLE….. an extremely useful plant
Although it is also an extremely defensive plant as well.
I could use the nettle, it’s excellent as a pot herb as well as a wash for hair and skin
It will make good fodder for the poultry well wilted.
And the attraction against the fence is that any one stupid enough to trespass where it grows will get stung and a nasty rash………no trespassing……no rash it is as simple as that, yet it is a very nutritious green….. so nettle it is

On to other news
Calpurrnia was sick again……. 24 hours of vomiting. I used that probotic paste last night on her that the vet gave us last time, and sure enough no vomiting over night….none so far today.
I made her ‘fancy feast’ soup. Which is exactly what it sounds like… a smallish quantity of fancy feast in a larger quantity of water, warm……….
It is good to keep them hydrated when they are like this.
The vet and I can not figure out what this is exactly but they seem to be susceptible to it when the seasons change.
Thaddeaus remains furred! We are so unused to seeing him with a full coat on…..he reminds me of those weird Victorian supernatural people that look all wooly like sheep…..
So far he is still relatively short haired, but it looks like it will grow in long, and it is very very CURLY fur…….
Ah…….. what a laperm should be…..

Now one last thing, today ( actually tonight at I think 11pm) is new moon….
And a good time to plant things that grow under the ground such as onions and potatoes, beets, turnips, parsnips, and carrots.
It’s been dampish and raining off and on…… very good for the peas I planted the other day, as well as any of the lettuce or other greens that the finches may have left to me

I still need to get the spinach in…the first sowing didn’t take for whatever the reason.

I think in two weeks I will be getting three more large barrels for the deck….. and get the small planters and such out of there, cleaned up and replanted with rosemary, lemon grass, vanilla grass, and maybe another patchouli, ( I miss my patchouli) I also have a packet of cat grass seeds so I will plant that.

The cat NIP bucket is alive….i checked the other day, the cat nip is coming up, and I need to remember to move it on and divide it, as this year is a year for drying herbs.
A LOT of herbs
I have four or five sages to set out, which I like to dry whole leaves from, and also make kitchen wreaths. ( Trish you really should have stayed with us longer….you would have loved some of this stuff I do)

Well that is more or less the state of my herb garden, my life, and my furry family at the moment. BTW, bernie’s birthday is Tuesday. I doubt I will be on the net by then but you never know.

I will tell you all, I miss the internet, I miss my friends, I miss the unlimited wealth of knowledge that is found there at the stroke of a key.
And while I am not too fond of modern life. The internet I have to say…..even with it’s faults, makes it all worthwhile

Til next time

vi



April 6, 2008
We have a little visitor………..

Life is such an amazing experience.
And it is brutal in it’s down from our point of view.
This morning, Bernie came down to find a tiny baby squirrel dead on the front lawn. From the looks of him, it looks like he fell out of the tree looking for his momma, as he is a bit too little to be out of the nest.
I went out to see if the little guy was indeed dead.
He was
I turned him over, to see if there were puncture wounds or something……. Nope
And he was stiff. ( and a boy too)

While I was out there I heard a racket up in the tree above….. in the squirrel nests that has been there as long as I think we’ve lived here.

An even tinier baby was trying to come down the tree.
I was a wreck watching this baby, sure at any moment he would slip and fall to his death as well…..
He came down the tree
He climbed back up part way.
It was a lot of effort for a little guy like him
He rested a while and started back down.
I called Bernie out

When the baby got to the bottom of the tree he went around to the back and sat there for a few moments.

I called him to come to me as I was so worried about him
No parents around
The baby started to wobble over to me
And climbed my pants leg
Looking for food
I sent Bernie for a towel and the baby gratefully burrowed into it
We fed him he was starving
We got to the pet store for milk replacer
We kept feeding him
We warmed him up
He is very thin but he is a fighter, he’s now out in his little birdcage with his warm towel to burrow in.
I go and feed him often
He likes the heavy cream much better then the milk replacer mix
( goats are like that too…..can’t say I blame them huh?)

I hope he makes it
I think he’s about 6 weeks….
Marilyn went on line for me, ( as we have no internet until the dsl thing comes)
And from what I told her………… we figured 6-8 weeks…. As his eyes are open and his tail isn’t a rat tail…it’s starting to bush out.
But he is definitely tiny and not eating on his own yet……
He maybe will think of a seed but believe me….he’s looking for a teat most of the time

Meanwhile, it is bernie’s birthday observed.
As Tuesday is his real birthday, we are observing it today sort of
The celebration food got side tracked while I was feeding the baby
And Bernie is such a guy that he ran up to the pet store and spent $20.00 that we could NOT afford for the replacer milk

I am still laughing about that baby coming right over to me and climbing my leg

If my folks could talk to you all right now…..they would say
“of COURSE the baby climbed HER leg…….every sick, homeless or hurt animal for 100 miles finds their way to her door….’

( mom said that about Bernie too when I was going out with him……’ the dogs are getting bigger….this one is over 6’ tall’)

but this little baby was determined…….. my leg was going to bring him to a place where he was warm, fed, and safe………and so it did huh?

Wish this little one luck please…… I hope he grows big and strong….and becomes a happy and WILD squirrel out back

Vi

Updated, we lost the little guy which broke my heart


April 13 2008

Ducks, ducks everywhere.

Serafina the sly little duck……….. has hidden her nest

I had been asking Bernie if he could see eggs in the duck house….
Nope

I sort of poked around….nope

Well the other day, I found the nest…….
A gagillion eggs in there too!

Damn duck

I went into the pen Friday morning, with food for the ducks, water and my egg gathering basket.

I went around the back of the duck house where I had found that nest full of eggs…….
Serafina peeked around the side of the duck house…..she looked up at me
She looked down at her nest
She looked back up at me

I went out with an empty basket
BUT
I told that duck……….

She can’t KEEP them after they hatch…… in a 9 X 19 pen…… two ducks are more then enough

Oh man

We are going to be over freeken run with ducks

She is a sly little duck

vi

cream, white, pale peach and violets

i have spring fever

BAD

really BAD

i am about to go to town and get a gallon of cream paint, some white paint and a quart of pale peach and start painting anything dark in the house

such as the mahogany teir table, old frames

old wooden dressers

chairs

piecrust tables

bernie

my workbench in the studio.....

and then grab a brush and paint violets........... all over EVERYTHING

you can never have too many violets you know

( and violet china makes me weak in the knees.... royal albert, lefton, hammersly, oh my)

i want to replace my over sink light with something cream, and covered with violets as well.....

can you tell they are my favorite flower?

i don't know WHY people think roses are the epitomy of flowers....

it's really the violet....

so fleeting

so quaint

and so modern all at once

they are refreshing in a way roses can never be

but then

i am bias

i heard there were chickens that didn't lay eggs

i was down talking to my ladies today,
they are still on vacation from laying, as is serafina

at one point, i heard henrietta announcing...... that normally means there is an egg for me to get
i went down
all four chickens lined up and looked at me
i felt like i should hang numbers around each of their necks
they looked like dangerous and wanted chickens

all frozen in the line up.......
just looking at me

hello chickens, i said to them
.............

they beep beep beeped at me, then boop boop booped at me
and started to come see if i brought them any pumpkin or cat food
or something they could eat.....

i petted each one of them
including surprisingly SHARON
who is very standoffish

their combs and wattles are nicely red....
they crouch like they are supposed to

but still no eggs

i think they may be on strike


next we will be known as

the home of the striking chicken

wonderful

just what we all needed

vi

postscript:
i was sort of futzing around in the living room today......
and i found a birthday card from last year.... from our trish
i didn't expect that and it caught at my heart
i am still reaching for the phone to call her
and today would be 4 weeks

i still can't quite get my mind around this
but as you all can see
i am getting on with it

planting snow peas

and mixed greens, along with a few lettuces.....

it's warm out, and raining

on and off.

i had to replant the greens and spinaches as the last planting got frozen on me

so today i went out and did snow peas and the mixed greens

i still need to plant the spinaches

in the house i continued to plant seeds, these are for a cottage garden

hollyhocks in shades of apricot, peach, pale rose, pale gold, and creams

foxglove in apricots

bachelor buttons,

dianthus-cottage pinks

columbine mixed shades

some of my seeds were old but had been kept in the fridge so we'll see

i am about to start transplanting to larger pots for the veggies

and to start to move the little guys outside for a while each day to harden off

i wish i had a greenhouse and a cold frame so bad

i am also thinking of putting in a climbing rose on an arbor that will frame the front windows

as well as espaliered fruit trees against the stone walls of the house

now is the time i really could use help, someone to help me move the seedlings out and in

someone to help put an arbor together, someone to help me dig the holes

but it's just me, and occationally bernie

the fruit trees i am thinking of to espalier are as follows:

peaches and apricots against the south side of the house

cherries on the north side of the house

i am considering a hedge of blueberries as well possibly.....

and cranberries for ground cover

i have a feeling that even though we are wanting to move, with the market such as it is

it will be a while...

may as well do what i have to do just in case we do have to stay here longer then i would like

also, i figure the person that would buy this little cottage in the woods, probably thinks similar to me......

and would WANT the cottage garden as well........

so cottage garden it is

now i want to point out an anomoly......

see that picture of my birthday card from bernie?

see the purple line in it?

i took the picture of my sheep card, and then that one.....that one was RIGHT NEXT to my sheep card, then i went on to take pictures of the little plants i am growing for the garden

in NO other picture is there a purple line...........

and when i checked the picture later under photoshop......i saw a LOT of 'noise' on both edges....

i have no explaination.....

so i will leave you all with that little mystery

and i will keep my opinions on it to myself.....

however

you all feel free to comment if you would.....on what YOU think that is

til next time

vi

ps: not a bad birthday either btw, no presents but that's ok i got the cats gifts, and it was a nice day

waking up doesn't get better then this

i was woken up very quietly and very gently with a tiny little reddish nose on my nose
and sunlight filtering in the window on my face
and the tiniest of purrs
it was fawn

she was so happy to see me this morning, and i was so happy to open my eyes to her beautiful green eyes....
then she laid down on my pillow with her face in my face

next thaddeaus came up and laid down in my arms
purring into my face, tapping gently every once in a while on my shoulder

morning mommy......

calpurrnia laid beside me purring as loudly as her little body would let her

bernie was holding me, and reached over to pet everyone good morning

i came down to these two cards...... ohhhhhhhhhhh sheepies and violets....some of my very favorite things


he's outside right now restacking one of our wood piles that fell down with the blasting up the ridge for the last couple weeks

i am writing this blog right now but in a bit i am going to go out to my ducks and see them and the chickens

we are to have a roast turkey today, as turkey or chinese food are my favorites
I LOVE TURKEY, too bad i can't raise them.....but then i would probably make pets of them.....and we would have giant birds running around all over the place huh?

here are a few pictures of my future veggie garden....
they are the seedlings i started back the beginning of march....

and when they first sprouted



vi

friends are different when you are older

i found that friendships as you age are different from when you were a kid
in some ways it takes longer to make a close friend when you are older, as you don't have as many shared experiences
but at the same time, when you DO connect with someone it seems to me that you connect incredibly deeply
when you are a kid.... or teenager, sometimes while your friends do CARE, they do get distracted.
but again...... friends you make when you are much older...( 51 tomorrow) they seem to just KNOW.....if you know what i mean
there is a timelessness to them

i have one friend left alive from when i was a kid..... we talk occasionally..... it's like no time ever has gone past..... we discuss her kids...... our lives...... it's so odd occasionally for us, and we laugh.....
because we remember when it was 'so whatcha doing friday night, and can i borrow them overalls of yours'
we remember us as kids..... before responsibilities and cares, and worries...... and all the deaths that took the rest of us away......

i am deeply grateful for my friends now..... the women of a certain age that can knowingly smile when i say something about my husband......or about my aching back......
the laughter from them is deep and from the heart
they have cried with me over our losing Trish

i have made new friends as well..... time will tell how and how much that deepens

i realized that i am not a kid anymore..... and my viewpoint somehow, has shifted

maybe it IS because i have lost so many people, maybe i have had no choice but to grow up.
to grow into some wisdom
to see patterns in the lives around me
to realize that sometimes....no matter what you see..... or try to say....
you just have to sit back and watch the train wrecks and just hope you can help pull out any survivors.
that last one is tough, but so is life sometimes.

life also on the surface, doesn't seem fair......

why would trish be taken from us......and jackass lives on to embezzle another day

from a soul's point of view.......
trish was done with her lessons in this life time with these people. she gets to graduate, diploma, cap and gown...........she won.......she caught the brass ring ( soul's point of view is NOT ours here on earth remember that)

jackass....he gets thrown back to see if maybe......JUST FREEKEN maybe he will learn something before his sorry hide gets scraped off the pavement

could have a LOT to do with which side of the proverbial veil you are on ......what exactly is your view point.

but sometimes......it doesn't make it any easier



vi

rain and wheat and garden chores

it's raining today
i am also to pick up 100 pounds ( i think......it may be 90 pounds) of wheat today as well.

a bucket of soft wheat for pancakes and pastries, ( that's what is ground into all purpose flour if you would like to know)

and a bucket of hard white wheat for bread

i hope i remembered to order the hulled barley as i would like to malt that if i can for bread
as well as using it ground and also whole cooked
barley is VERY good for you
especially if you are IR (insulin resistant) like me

i looked over my garden yesterday while talking to my ducks.
i have been a very bad gardener, and after i planted the garlic in october, and settled the ducks. i neglected to finish the fall clean up, although i did get the tomato vines out.....but left a lot of the other stuff........oh and the pepper plants......ditched them in the compost too

it's a mess out there
my cutworm collars are all over
my plastic mulch is all over
as is my 'last minute plastic sorta hooped shelter for the peppers house'
but it is raining today...... and i have to pick up that wheat today

next week however...... or possibly even sunday....i will be out there
now if it is really hard bad rain......no
if it's a light drizzle....hell yeah

i got stuff that's got to go into the garden shortly
and
i got rabbit problems

jackass' wife turned her rabbits out again
a white one and a black one
two years ago we lost three planting to the rabbits they turned out ( until the hawk got one and a neighbor rescued the other, and we realized it WAS not deer but their rabbits.....as their un-neutered male cats not only sprayed all over my door and woodpile etc.....but got all the wild rabbits, chipmunks, moles, voles, shrews etc)

i knew that something was in the garden as the carrots were dug up
( wintered over ones........ without interference they would have been safe to now and one to go to seed)

so now i need a live trap for not only their cats.....but their rabbits
i need two traps huh?

i so have to move

we got the news from the township we live in....... all of a sudden it's SUBURBAN!
it's got suburban laws now
huh?
when did town move out here?
and how far out CAN we go so we don't have town moving in?

meanwhile also this weekend....i need to rig my yearly 'greenhouse/coldframe' on the deck with two sawhorses and a big sheet of plastic.....
only THIS year i have a RIGID former glass/plastic table top to use for the front
so i am thinking that will do me well, and i can just drape the sides with plastic like a table cloth.....and put my seedlings in trays to be slid in and out and around....no?

from the looks of the tomatoes....... they will be in 7 gallon buckets by the time they are ready to set out in the garden

( i apparently have an extremely green thumb.......too bad it isn't a 'win the big lotto' green thumb)

seedling requests are dribbling in..... people ask me to grow seedlings for them every year now
i grow heirlooms and there isn't any comparison with the taste
plus they know that my plants are healthy and not stressed....
one person from last year got a couple tomatoes, a pepper and a zucchini......THIS year she called with a longer list.....
it includes herbs and flowers too
so sometime in april i will start her seeds which she'll pick up in may

now on my canning list....... someone mentioned egyptian walking onions..... soooooooo now i have to investigate them...i was aware of them but i didn't think they were edible.......just ornamental.....but i have been assured you can eat them..

new this year to my garden is a wonderberry.....and a cape gooseberry....
there are a few more but i can't remember what they are called!
i hope for sorgum and amarath as well...... i want the grains for us and the chickens
i am thinking i need to grow some grains for the poultry for the winter.......

well i better get going, it's getting late and i have to get a lot done before i leave to get the wheat
til next time

vi

the ducks and other matters

my ducks will be with us almost a year .....( april 21 will be a year if i recall)

they have started to meet me at their pen gate when i go out to feed and water them
or even just to visit them
they wag their tails at me
and bob their heads and raise their crests
even little serafina....
although falstaff is the first one out

i will admit
i bribe them
i grub in the dirt and come up with fresh wild greens for them
today it was dandelions
yesterday it was violet leaves and chickweed and witch grass
they love it

so when i went to town today, my fingers were all dirt stained, but it was so worth it to see falstaff actually allow serafina first crack at the greens

and here i was thinking of having him with a nice orange sauce.....

ok the other matters
i am still having trouble knitting
i have few things waiting for me to cast on.....or to get back to
but right now......
well ok here is the run down

wip:
fichu from victorian lace today. Trish and i were discussing that and i was doing a test knit, she planned on following with her own

autumn leaf scarf: trish gifted me with the pattern for that wonderful silk laceweight i got at spirit trail last october at rhineback.

waiting to cast on:
magic carpet and moroccan days: trish and i were going to knit the magic carpet together
she was the first person i sent an invite to when i started the kal group at ravelry ( sorry susan, but i put her name first)

see where this is going?

i keep trying to find a place in my daily routine that didn't have trish in it....
but without realizing it my friend crept into a lot of aspects of my daily life
KR seems so empty without her as does ravelry
so does my inbox
and my voice mail

i am trying though
seriously i am

i am also trying not to be a nut about 'what would trish think about this'

but i think it often

i have lost so many close close friends over the years
and i can tell you all....it does NOT get easier

and if you would all follow me around, you would often see and hear me talking to the 'air'
it is not actually air....
i am talking to either thea, or evelyn, or my folks, or gramma rad, or......now trish

i know they hear me
i know that they are saying i talk too much
duh

well if they wouldn't have LEFT ME SO EARLY.....i would NOT be forced to scream at heaven

duh

i will tell you all, i still feel so lost at times

i am doing stuff and keeping busy and doing the seasonal thing
i don't cry every day

i do however make sure i call bob and leave a message daily..... so he has a light blinking on the answering machine AND so i hear trish's voice.....
cause i can't remember my mom's voice at all
so it is nice to still hear trish's
thank you so much bob for keeping her on the answering machine

now thea died in 96, and evelyn in 02
my mom was 85, dad was 98
gram in 03 right after my beloved merry and kisses
i still talk to them all daily....
and talk about them ALOT
so i suppose i hang on to folks....living and dead.....

i don't know if that is a good thing or not

i also know.....when i go
i don't really expect anyone to be sad at all
i don't expect any one to be anything other then ok in their daily life

i imagine that these special to me people would feel the same.....
they don't want me so sad.....or missing them so much

but the fact is right now i do

and it makes me feel very tiny in the big universe

so i grow plants and bake bread
and can food
and feed ducks
and pray daily that i figure a way for us to move to the farm
which seems so very insurmountable right now

however, in the immortal words of a fictional charactor

tomorrow IS another day

signs of spring?

a gold finch at the feeder, more yellow then olive

the drake and duck 'making ducklings'

the cardinals singing from the tops of the trees

tiny violet leaves hiding

the dirt is black and soft

sunlight in my eyes in the morning

a fly in the house

bernie home before dark

too warm to draft the woodstove

71 in the studio without the woodstove on

i crave salad

my seedlings are robust

tiny green leaves and red buds on the trees

could it possible be?

could the promise of rebirth and reawakening be happening right now?

working my way though

i still miss my friend very badly, at least a dozen times a day i almost pick up the phone
i am trying to stay busy
today's busy was baking pie pumpkins and packaging the pulp for the freezer,
watering seedlings
starting to transplant some of the tomatoes

i need to get back to the paperwork project as well

but not only have i been sort of lost
but i have been sort of sick
the food posioning the other week seems to have set off a gallbladder thing
or maybe it was the stress?

so i am sort of out of things either way

but i know.....from past experience that i will get used to this new facet of my life

i may not like it however

i am still hoping to move soon to a farm
or at least a bigger property that i can have my farm ANIMALS on and an orchard, larger garden, and even if i am really lucky.....a managed wood lot

i am trying to get some whole grains in bulk as well now....i plan on grinding our own flour
fresh ground flour to make our bread

as well as other grains such as barley, amaranth, spelt and maybe a few more
i have hopes of moving us out of the commerical food system as much as i can
i just don't trust big agriculture anymore
too too many recalls and outbreaks of toxic diseased foods

and if you are what you eat.......
well you see where this is going

i also think folks need to go back a bit....take a bit more responsiblity for themselves
for feeding and clothing themselves

i used to hear stories of nona's chickens..... she lived in brooklyn!

why aren't people still having a couple chickens and a small garden in the city?
there are rooftops and vacant lots
can the cities not be made to bloom?

there is no excuse for the suburbs
every single house should have a garden and some small livestock, a few chickens, or ducks...maybe meat rabbits
larger properties need small goats and sheep....
just think of the savings on mower and trimming costs

i know folks may not all agree with me....but i am thinking times do come around
and this may be the time to go back a bit

revisit the past....... take some of what was good and can still be useful and practical today

or

maybe i'm nuts

vi

PS: this is where trish would say i'm nuts, and laugh at me
but she would also agree with me
gees i miss her

gmail is out

i get a 502 error, which is 'temporary'
for the past two hours
however some folks with gmail have been out over 12 hours now
as that is now my primary email......i am in serious withdrawl

now in daily news, it's cold out
really cold actually.....about 22 degrees
the heat came on!

i was lazy today and slept in until 9am..... ( which a week or so ago would have only be 8am)
so the woodstove went totally (just a few live coals) out

bernie stoked it last night, i went up to bed a bit early.
i don't know why but i am tired lately
anyhow when bernie stokes the stoke, it goes out too early
i can keep it hot for at least 10 hours but somehow bernie can't seem to

i have to get back to my paper work decluttering today and also transplant seedlings
i just planted a couple more leeks and some more greens even if i have to keep the greens in flower pots on the living room windows....it's time now

i am growing a few new things this year
i am growing a salad green that also produces a sweet red berry fruit
i am growing a cape gooseberry
there are two berries from the huckleberry family, one by luther burbank.
if the seeds outside germinate, i am also growing about 10 different spinaches
and about 12 different assorted salad greens, including a few lettuces
i got a bit heavy handed with the cabbages this year.....
there must be 80 of them
so we are going to have cabbages all over the freeken place

the only pumpkin i am going to grow this year is the heirloom and extremely rare long neck pumpkin
this pumpkin looks ( when ripe) like a very overgrown zucchinni....it's dark green, except for one tiny spot where it rests on the ground....that should be orange...
if so it's ripe...cut it and cure it
and put it in storage.....over the winter it will turn orange
how cool is THAT
?
i went nuts trying to get these seeds
fedco finally had them again and boom...i ordered

the other pumpkin i want is the 'jam' pumpkin
that is from 'seed from italy'
i am hoping to order those seeds and putting that one out next year

i have to tell you all, the ducks have announced in their sort of quiet duck like way.....that it is really truly spring and they are very very busy making ducklings...

i think we need to extend the pen a bit..... AND put a high perch in there for serafina, to get away from falstaff when he gets too amourous....

and he seems to be getting too amourous on an hourly basis.... i would imagine any man over 25 will be very envious of that silly drake....

i want to make a nice chicken pen out there too....the girls do need to go out...and we need three more pullets ....we are out of eggs right now

bernie wants to eat the girls.....i don't think so

speaking of bernie....
he's been home now a few days from his seminar.....
and he is all upset
the dryer broke, he thinks it's a thermal fuse but he couldn't fix it yesterday
(that's ok, cause line drying is a great way to keep electric costs down)
and little calpurrnia pooped on the floor....
he got all upset at that too...
but being it was calpurrnia.... all of course is forgiven....
how could you not?
she looks up at your with them big blue eyes...and jumps into your arms and purrs like her little heart is going to explode with love

that cat can work it


bob put trish's obit up.....
what a beautiful picture of her
what a wonderful tribute to her

and i still keep trying to call her


vi

it seems like time should stop

and just let folks be for a bit

but it doesn't work that way.....if anything, as soon as you think time should stop....it appears to speed up

just a random thought.


today is i believe, easter.

it is certainly spring

the ducks say so, as they are intent on making ducklings
my seedlings under lights here say so
they are huge now.......i just sowed some of them three short weeks ago
they really could be out in the garden now, if it was warmer
that is how large some of them are
i am going to start to move them onto larger pots, and sort a few of them for sale
i have a bit too many herb plants it looks like
sage, sweet marjoram, basil, anise.

thankfully this year i did not plant 100 peppers and 200 tomatoes....i showed SOME restraint

however i certainly WISH i had the garden space for that much

i planted a LOT of banana peppers, as i want to make a base with them, onions and garlic for pork, chicken and beef.

i planted some other sorts of peppers as well i need stuffers and also sweet red ones to dry

the celery is cutting celery, i hope to keep a pot of that in the house

all in all my future vegetable garden is thriving under it's lights, and i am always amazed at the tiny plants that now only fill a 2'X4' space......will grow so large as to fill not only the main garden, but the side garden and the deck garden with extras to give and sell.

those tiny little tomato plants will grow to be 10 feet tall out in the compost enriched soil

that is one of the amazing yearly miracles of spring, and one that i never get tired of

however it always makes me wish i had a greenhouse and cold frames and a much much bigger garden

the aftermath

i miss my friend
i talked to her daily
there are a few people that are such a part of my life......
that daily contact is important to me

i found that i am having trouble knitting.....picking up again
trish and i were planning on knitting a shawl and matching scarf together
and i can't face my needles or my yarn

i call her husband almost every day......
so when he comes home....
there is a blinking light on the answering machine
it isn't much i know
it is also nice to hear her voice on the answering machine, she always had such a soothing voice.....


i wish she'd gotten him the kitten she was talking about
there would be a living being for him to come home to.....that needed and loved, and depended on him

now last week, i was ill with food poisioning
this week bernie was in alabama at a ford training seminar
and i was to the doctor

i have apparently over shot that whole cholesterol thing....
with my cholesterol at 124 now

the good one is great the bad one is low
the balance is perfect but my over all numbers are getting a bit too low now
so icecream all around, suplimented, in no particular order by
steak
cheesecake
butter
eggs
more icecream
whipped cream and a cherry


i am cleaning house.....
a bit here and a bit there
but a bit EVERY DAY
getting ready for planting the garden as well

i see the ducks are planting ducklings..... i have to get out there and set up the nest so i can limit the amount of eggs she lays
i don't want to be over run
and besides i need eggs..... lots of them for baking....
i have too low of cholesterol you know.....

the cats all are mad at bernie.....
they didn't want him to come to bed
i guess they figured he abandoned them

either that or they really liked having more space in the bed.....

knowing them....it's probably the more space thing

til next time

vi

it's all so final

i lost a close friend

suddenly

she crossed with blessed little suffering if any....
it took a breath
she was gone

her body was held to help others
many many others will benefit because this wonderful person, cared so deeply about others suffering that she gave her self.....literally gave her body to help

no greater gift is there.....

i am so devastated

reaching for the phone to call her was such a part of my life

i can't wrap my brain around it all yet

she can't be dead.....she is still in my mind and heart so very much alive

her husband is beyond devastated....... there is no way words can convey how his very soul is ripped apart and shredded

i realize we all must die
no one gets out alive

and if i were to choose my own death..... please make it FAST and sudden.....
no pain
no illness
no suffering

how could i begrudge a friend that i love the same?

yet, i am so incredibly angry..... she's taken from us too soon.....
her husband denied the years of leisured retirement they both planned and worked for

her friends denied the brightness of her laughter

today is gray and heavy rains are coming down...
seems fitting to me

even the universe seems to be crying as hard as i am at her passing


there are others that knew her, and had the same medical crisis she did.....they lived
they feel guilt for that
i am so greatful they did live..... their jobs here are not done
i would not want to have also mourned them

this is hard enough
i am worried about them...... i know that they have a purpose here.....and it is important
their very dailyness of living is part of it

i can't seem to get them to see what i see so very clearly


and i have a question.....

how is it possible for a heart to hurt so very badly...... over and over again....
and not stop beating?
how do people go on after great losses?

i am so tired of the pain of losing family and friends

yet i know..... they are still all around me.....although i can't see them

i dreamt of my friend last night
she seems happy, and healthy.....and ok over there......

is it so very selfish of me to wish......she'd never left us?

i wouldn't want her to be a vegetable..... i am not that selfish....
or her to suffer to stay.....

but i just wish this was all a bad dream.....and i would wake up now

new beginings

my seeds are up
i planted them....had faith in mother nature and i am now welcoming them into the world

i need another flourscent light for them though

i will get that today as well as do town chores

bernie has to go to school in two weeks, he'll be gone i believe 4 days and 3 nights
he is concerned about me being here alone.

we will heap wood on the deck....
give the ducks WAY extra food, just in case we get a storm

georgie up the hill checked her schedule to make sure they are around
and a few other people told me.....if i need anything let them know

i figure i will just have to be a bit more careful
and as long as i do'nt fall in the garden again it should be ok


now..... i have to tell you folks

a friend of mine is very ill
i am extremely worried as i don't know too much except she is in the hospital and it's serious
when i worry i get distracted
and i may not remember to post
i will however clean the house
and i will talk on the phone almost nonstop while doing it

that's how i worry

now when she gets better and reads this......she will of course stop speaking to me

but let me tell you.... i would rather she DOES make it and stop speaking to me....
then cross over

and T when you read this....and YOU had better get well enough to.....or i swear i will haunt you in heaven....

just remember
you are loved

vi

oh most wonderous shredder

thou hast dazzled me with thy brilliance

i love my shredder
where has it BEEN my whole life

i take one bad memory in the form of a letter
SNNNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

and it's confetti!

amazing

i like to see the little basket fill up
i am next going to burn it all in the bbq

talk about fun

now
that being said....paper work SUCKS

did i say that already? ........well if so it bares repeating

PAPER WORK SUCKS

no that does not make me feel better...

but that shredder sure does..... i can almost understand the fascination men have with them chippers.....

and the SHREDDER even does CREDIT CARDS

that's the BEST

as i had them all laying around for years.....expired ones that i didn't know what to do with

zoooooooooooooooooommmssssssssssssss

through the shredder

it's MAGIC

and the noise is pretty cool too


vi

til next time

paperwork.....the new torture

i hate paperwork
now i know you are nodding your head and saying....'yeah, who doesn't'
but
let me tell you......i am NOT kidding...

today after 20 years...i have decided to tackle the boxes of paperwork
now i did the tax type paperwork yearly
but the other stuff like credit card offers.....
aarp offers
magazines
it's all stuff with our names and addresses or other personal information
i haven't known what to do with it all!

well we finally got a shredder
and i got a bunch of bankers boxes to sort it all out

i even got a box for cards from loved ones........cause i can't throw them out

and while it isn't fun
it's not as nightmarish
almost

it is however at times torturous

i found old letters from favorite relatives that have been long deceased.....
i miss them so much

i found pictures of my beloved dog

i found all sorts of things

some stuff made me laugh

some stuff had me in tears

some stuff had me shaking my head and still wondering why

and unfortunately it also is breaking my back! seriously.....my back is HURTING!
did you know paperwork is HEAVY

it's physcially heavy and apparently emotionally heavy as well

i plan on burning the shredded stuff.....
in the bbq as it has social security numbers and account numbers etc

i already have a very large box of paper that can either be recyled or composted
that is making me happy

when i get it all finished, i know i will have even more to shred such as old bills and deposit slips etc from the 80's and 90's


i think this is also the first time in a very LONG time that i am actually doing a spring cleaning of sorts

i think it is time no?

anyway....
that's what i am trying to get done right now...
i thought it would takes me about two weeks...but i am realizing it is going to take a bit longer.....

oye

what do i do to myself
????



vi

testosterone poisoning

it is a terrible thing to see

i feel it is my public duty as a woman to alert you all to the symptoms of testosterone poisoning.....

i must warn all the faint of heart or easily offended to please back away from the screen now.....seriously...it won't do you any good to stay....

you gone?

ok for the ones who are left


are there women out there who live with men..... ( even men in training aka: boys)
who wonder just why they do the things they do?

and why at times we want to strangle either them or ourselves with a runless pair of pantyhose (extra support, sheer to the toe, size c)

yes it is all from testosterone poisoning

today, when we were out at best buys just LOOKING at a computer.....my husband suddenly and for no reason started to complain LOUDLY that this store was a rip off as the tower didn't come with a monitor

yup testosterone poisoning

and do i have to remind you all of the weed whacker incident?
when he bought a new weed whacker and went around striking terror into the hearts of every expensive cultivar i had planted here...... while the actual weeds rolled on the floor laughing their assets off????
only to finish up by slicing in half a brand new soaker hose...laid out in a recently planted bed?

yup testosterone poisoning

it's the same syndrome that makes men THINK they actually know what they are talking about...or that they actually have something to SAY about how you run the household

it's an evil evil thing....and even the most innocent manlet will have the beginnings of it

have you ever watched a man in full testosterone frenzy?
such as crushing a beer can on their heads

spending WAY TOO FREEKEN MUCH MONEY on something incredibly stupid like a jet powered riding lawnmower with attached flame thrower?

or screaming until they are hoarse at some silly tv screen while wearing their favorite team's body paint....( on your new sofa)

and if after a man has been in the bathroom, even the dog runs away and barfs.......

and what mother willing goes into her teenaged son's room....
gees the stench alone permeates the entire house the second the door is opened
AIRWICK solids shrivel up and die in that room in about an hour......

even YOUNGER boys....have that 'odor'......ewwwwwww.
remember from when you were a kid.....boys had cooties cause they SMELLED bad...

ewwwww


well you can look no further
the diagnosis is confirmed.....
testosterone poisoning.....

and sadly

there is no cure

( not even neutering them at birth cause apparently their brains are bathed in testosterone even in utero.......)



i have no solution......but i felt i had to warn you all

now

if it gets too bad
and some of you are tempted to whack him with his own weed whacker.....
remember this

no one looks good in neon orange jump suits

and community showers don't give you time to moisturize properly...let alone pluck your chin hairs.....


ok off my soap box now


til next time

vi