fawn

fawn the muse, overseeing my drawing

our little fawn came to us the end of march 2005
she was retired from being a cattery queen
when she got here, she had been a show cat, a mother (16 offspring)
lived in a cage, (well cared for but not really loved or socialized)
and traveled extensively

she was spayed, and retired to live out her life here with two of her great grandcats
she learned a lot of things here, many of them 'firsts' in her world
she was beyond terrified the first few weeks here, rapidly blinking her eyes in fear, hiding under the furniture, crying for the other cattery cats and her lost life
she was 5 pounds and let me tell you
every single ounce of her is heart and courage
she humbles me when i think of it

fawn went to the vet yesterday, and was diagnosed with thyroid disease....that explains the weight loss, the very poor coat, and the ravenous appetite.
we have pills
now the good news is
IF she acclimates herself to the pills she can live a long time
we won't discuss the bad news right now if you all don't mind
i can't face it
i am afraid that i don't have the courage that my tiny little five pound cat does

every single 'firsts' for fawn were hard won, her first time climbing on my lap by herself..
she would watch what thaddeaus and calpurrnia did and she would think about it, then try it herself
most of her firsts became the firsts of many
she now enjoys nose snuggles
and hugs
and pets
and talking things over
she really loves fancy feast


she learned to love to play and boy does she play
she learned to run, to jump, to climb stairs
ironically she didn't learn to climb on us while we sleep...... her grandchildren do that without thinking... they walk all over us during the night...not fawn.
fawn has manners
she is still timid about some things... really it's an old fashioned type of polite manners

i think that is because we didn't force her at all
we would only pet her if she wanted us to
we wouldn't pick her up either, she had to jump on us
it was extremely important to us that she got to have ultimate say over her body
after all it is HER body
it has taken years...
now this

i want fawn to have more time, not just any time
GOOD quality love her life time
i feel she hasn't had enough time being a beloved house pet cat
and as cats go, i believe she is one of the ones that absolutely deserve a loving family around her
and we love her so much that it is too much to think about losing her

every morning she runs to bernie as he gets up, to get her morning daddy/fawn love..... it's their special time together
if i am awake she divides herself but really it's her time with bernie
they both need it in the morning
she hangs around then and waits for me to wake up
sometimes she comes nose to nose with me....and just breathes me in
i wake up and pet her

anyway.....
i could go on and on....i adore this little cat

(ok so i adore all the animals that live with us, but they really are all so wonderful)