i finally got some sleep

let's hope this trend continues

i could however sleep some more


i piled 4 feet of blankets on me
socks
flannels
drank enough milk to float a small boat
ate CARBS
all in an effort to get "SOME SLEEP"

i still feel like death and taxes but i did get some sleep


now this week marks a very very tragic anniversary.
we lost my friend trish suddenly
i took her passing hard
i am still taking it pretty hard
i've lost quite a few other people this year as well
some to death
some to 'their season or reason in my life is apparently over'

the older i get the more i realize the wisdom of that saying

People in Your Life
People come into your life fora REASON, a SEASON, or a
LIFETIME,when you figure out which it is,

you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON .....
It is usually to meet a
need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist
you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seen like a God
send ~ and they are.

They are there for the REASON you need them to be ...
then, without warning, any wrong doing onyour part or at an inconvenient time,
they will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away, sometimes they act up and force
you to take a stand. What you must realize is that your need has
been met, your desire fulfilled, and their work is done. The prayer you
sent up hasbeen answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON ..... It is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make
you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually
give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real!
But ... only for a SEASON.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons ..... Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to good use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

that is so very very true
once i started to 'get' that........ some things were a slight bit easier for me

some other personal truths i learned

there a millions of people in the world
if for some reason, being 'friends' with someone is too hard for either party, maybe it is time to move on
like wise if the YOU of who you are is somehow difficult for someone to put up with
MOVE ON
don't wait
you don't have to get the garlic necklace.....but put some distance
no one needs to feel that somehow a 'friend' just barely tolerates them

when you spend 95% of your time trying to defend your words or actions............ time to move on

when i was in art school, my illustration teacher told us

if someone keeps nitpicking your work and you change it and it still isn't
quite right...
they really want another artist....

so you move on

that works in life too

IF we are here to learn lessons, that would be a part of the lesson......
i know that there are universal truths
and personal truths

universal truths are things that work for everyone.... thou shalt not kill is a universal

well pretty much the commandments
and every religion has some sort of outlines like these

personal truths work inside the universal truths
they bring them down to YOUR indivigual level

one of mine is learning that season and reason thing

i have a 'big' personality
for some reason i get a lot of flack because of it
i can no more change it ( and believe me i have TRIED)
then a fish can breath out of water
i do try and tone it down around people that are uncomfortable with it
but it's not easy
and i tend to burst out later
like a dam that breaks

i am deciding in my life that it is ok for me to have a big personality
and it is ok for people not to like it or me

in that case those people and i don't need to be around each other
no blame or worry on either side
it's just an agree to disagree thing

(it also turns out i inherited my personality from mom's side of the family...... so screw everyone who wants me to change..hahahaha ...oye)


anyway
this is part of where i am on the life lesson path
i have known this in my head........now i am really starting to understand it in my heart

but there sure have been some HUGE bumps in the road

the other part of this is
learning to not be hurt when the season is over
and learning not to look back in pain
that's a bit harder........

ok
enough of this
i need more sleep