eye exam

which is today

next
new glasses
i wonder if i will be able to see again?

it's been about 12-15 years since my last RX was filled
i know i need bifocals
i hope i can wear the progressives
bernie has them and loves them

bernie also doesn't have any problem with dilation of his eyes
me i have huge problems
so we'll see

i had nightmares last night
i actually slept through the night though
but had nightmares that someone i knew committed suicide
blood all over the place

now
normally when i dream of blood, it is a day or so later and i get my period
but as i am firmly in menopause thank goodness
i doubt that is going to happen

but it was disturbing enough that i looked this person up today in the SS death index


i hate nightmares


fedX is got my camera
they tried to deliver it yesterday, but i was on the phone with mary and didn't hear them
so they will deliver it today

i hope canon fixed it
i found out today that i forgot to send the paper with it
if they didn't
i am going to have to figure out how to get a new camera
and soon

one of the cats is sick
someone had semi runs.........i thought it was the boy, as he threw up all over last night
but now i am wondering if it wasn't calpurrnia
i am watching everyone closely today

the woodstove is giving me fits
i think the spark arrester is clogged again
i do'nt know why that is happening
it's only ever happened this year
so i have to think it's the wood

i wish i had hyacinths blooming
i do have crocus up and snow drops ( they are late this year) and scilla
i want some happy bright colors about now

the return (briefly) of the woodstove

past few days have been warm
raining and a bit dampish
but pretty warm
too warm for draft
soooooooo
today it was below 35 outside
i figured i would get draft...........sure enough i did!
thaddeaus is now warming himself in front of his beloved woodstove

i missed it's friendly glow as well

so we got a bouncing fire in there

i started a second drawing......this one of the garden and duck house

i wish my camera would get back from canon, (it's being repaired i believe.......as they think it is a manufacture defect) as i would love to start taking pictures of the ducks so i can get capture their antics
they go so fast i can't sit there and draw them too much from life
(besides, rain isn't too healthy for paper)

so next best is some pictures

i hadn't said anything to bernie, until he noticed the pad of bristol board
so i showed him

now i normally use rapidographs ( technical pens)
i use both rapidograph and stadler mars pens usually
however i can't find them!
somewhere in the studio is a full and complete set of stadler mars pens
and some extra rapidograph pens

but i didn't want to wait until i unearthed them so i got some disposable pens
pigma micron pens in a set of 6
they are ok
i do like them
the widest one isn't wide enough
and i would prefer a couple more mid-range
but i do like the 005 nib, it's nicely fine

i have discovered that the opaque photographic matte black crepe 1/4'' tape i use for borders is not manufactured anymore

that sort of sucks as it does really work well for a border

now i have to start inking them when i run out of this roll
bernie said chartpak has them
but we'll see
i couldn't find them

now a fast 'bless my art school' note
thank goodness they gave us a foundation year and taught us so many things that i doubt kids learn at art school now.....( although i could be wrong about that........they COULD be learning fundamentals)
to do type, instead of hand lettering.........which to say i am rust at is the ultimate understatement.........

i printed out a title phrase
carboned the back with a 2b pencil
and traced it on the board then inked it
FAST FAST
not too bad looking...........not as strong as hand lettering but for this it's fine

i am amazed also at how many things i remember, it's like second nature to do
i would say that art school really drilled this stuff into us
ok

garden news

the blueberries and blackberry are leafing out
i need to get them in the ground
i need peat for the blues.....
my outside seedlings are now sprouted
i wouldn't say they are actually 'up' yet
and the house seedlings are 2'' high
i would take a picture but the camera is at canon

gee i miss that camera at this time of year

bernie baked me a cake, i made filling and a boiled frosting for it
not too bad
he had two BIG pieces
i struggled with one piece

i had wanted an icecream cake
but no one thought of it

i guess there was too much else going on

btw, bernie's new (used) van is pretty cool
although it doesn't have a passenger seat
and it does have a wheel chair lift........( someone trying to tell me something?)
i can stand up in it
and i can tell you now
that 4 fully fleeced sheep and a chubby goat all fit in it
and they weren't too squished
i sat on the floor
they watched me

now in family news
my sister in law is coming out the end of may
she called to tell me she broke her wrist
she'd fallen a few weeks ago
and didn't get it looked at
but continued to pound nails in the windows and paint and generally continue to try and get a roof over her head again from IKE
all with a broken wrist.........three weeks worth of broken wrist

she's got a hot pink cast on now

i can't wait to see her as it's been over two years now
she helped bernie pound posts for the garden and put up the pen that is now the ducks day pen

i have to make sure i have enough extra lettuces planted to feed her as well
she'll enjoy that i know


til next time

it's raining

the ducks are out of sorts
the chickens are as well
the cats want the woodstove lit
but it's too warm out to get a decent draft so no woodstove

bernie is off taking recycling

i just transfered my font library from the old computer to the new one

and i am thinking of how to adapt a smallish tabletop drawing board

my drafting table is HUGE
it's HEAVY
and it's also an antigue
i love it but i don't know if i have space up here right now for it..... i could so use an extention on the studio

next house........ i want a seperate studio and i want it to have at least a loft area as well as main area ( and bathroom)

yesterday went well mostly
moving my animals
they were good babies
i cried after for hours

and didn't sleep last night again
'are they scared?, cold?'

i have finished one drawing and am trying to start another
i would like to start drawing the stories of the animals
but right now i don't know where to start

any one have any ideas?
or any favorite stories about this crew of very personable animals that i share my life with?

cause right now
i can't think

keeping my side of the bargin

one down, how many more i don't know yet
i need my drafting table upstairs
or at least a tabletop inclined drawing board

i would like my drafting table though

ok today we take the animals

i am feeling a bit sorry for me since instead of a birthday present i am giving up my beloved (and much worried over) animals
i can't help feeling i am giving up one of my longest held and deeply felt dreams of a farm

i am trying to not think of it all that much

i am trying to concentrate on the lettuce seedlings
and all that
reminding myself of the blueberries i have to plant and
of the elderberries and cranberries i have to order yet

and the next board i will be working on

probably this weekend but maybe monday..... i should do some rough drawings ahead of the time
i want to draw the ducks

communication

was a hard thing years ago

IF you could read and write, you got a sheeps stomach
scraped it down and stretched it
ground up some ink
pulled a quill from a goose made a POINT with a knife ( penknife)
wrote your letter
and tried to find someone going that way to deliver it
the delivery could literally take years

today
everyone seems to be able to reach anyone instantly with the internet
(i love the internet, it's like the universes biggest library....... puts the one that was burned in alexandria to shame)

the knowledge and ideas are amazing
there is ( like everything else) a dark side
the underbelly of the net
but with moderate care you won't deal too much with it


it is relatively easy to find folks with similar interests to yours to 'hang with'

you want to know how to milk a yak?
(oh sure you do......you know you do)
google it!

google is now a verb that means to search online
(with pretty pictures)

as communications shrink
and our world shrinks
i hope that instead of losing the wonder of it all
we are even more amazed at how intricate and detailed and astounding the universe can be

and not just lost in the latest computer generated game

i made a deal with the universe

and now it's my turn to pony up

it was a private deal.......... if such and such happened
i would get the drawing tools out

such and SUCH did happen
and i can feel the universe waiting expectantly
so
today
after duckie morning routine
after chickens get scratch and cats get hot fancy feast

i am going to town to find some disposable technical pens
maybe a bristol pad as well

since i woke up with drawings in my head

that is the first time in a long time


now i went to art school, and came out an illustrator
i realize i don't talk about it much
i worked first in a bank.......( talk about the wrong place for an artist to be)
then in art departments
i started in 'the field' as a typesetter........ funny cause now i find my mother's father, my grandfather was a printer...... back when it was an art, with hot type

then i moved on to 'the board' and did paste up and layout

then finally up to art and creative director.......hahahaha that was a joke
as i did EVERYTHING in that art department
including clean the stat camera and dump the chemicals for recycling....(we weren't 'green' the chemicals for a stat camera are full of silver.......we got money back from the spent chemicals)

then became a doll artist, miniature maker, soapmaker, gardener, knitting instructor, canner............
in short.... the me you folks sort of know today
but i suppose hidden under all that.......... are my roots
which is drawing

a while ago i started the illustrations and manuscript for a book that was the story of a trio of dolls i had been thinking of making ( i can't find the drawings though now...... !)

but all i am thinking of doing now
or at least attempting
is just one drawing
of the woods
in pen and ink
which should take me a while........

if i can handle it ( cause you know.......you don't' use it you lose it)
i will literally dust off the drafting table........ (it's downstairs and next to the chickens......it's really dusty)

i do remember a lot of joy in drawing
and a lot of frustration at times with how slowly images came to life under my pens

but i am older and a different person so maybe it won't be as frustrating
maybe this time around i will slow down
it is very likely

i may need a portable board as well
cause i can do this under the apple trees while the duckies graze
i used to draw at work, when i worked at the bank as a walk up/after hours teller
it was easy to put down and pick up
much easier then a book
and my customers seemed to enjoy seeing my homework ( i was in art school at the time.....so it really was homework)

so i am hoping that today acmoore has the pens i want
and a bristol pad
and if i can't find any of my layout pads.....i guess one of them as well
and possibly a layout pencil

one of my friends is a tarot card artist,
we had a long talk yesterday
she's been bugging me to do two thing for a while now
one was go back to drawing

i guess it is time to go full circle

we shall see

sometimes maybe, things happen for a reason

saturday the sheepies and goaties go to live at a different farm
it's a bunch of endings in very many ways

i keep hearing that reason or season thing in my head ***

the season of a friendship is over
and i am now ok with that
cause i get it now.......it was in answer to me learning how to spin

and now i can
so the season is over

it was a lot of adventure and joy while it lasted and now it's my turn to pass it on

it did however take a while for my head to get here

i am not sure what the future holds now
as the past 5 years have had me single mindedly wishing for a farm
and right now
with the recession, i am thinking we may not be able to do what i had envisioned
so
we bloom where we are currently planted.........and fix this place up
when we are done.......we then can have the option of selling or staying
i will most likely sell
as i still want more land and less people
and i am very tired of this area and the rate of growth in population, crime etc

but until then
we bloom where we are planted
as what else can we do?
i will plant the fruits i been wanting
and not hold off on that until the 'someday' farm
i will keep my chickens and ducks
and see if maybe i can find a loop hole in the zoning to cover 'exotics' and get mini sheep and a kinder goat

i am even thinking....... maybe it's time to drag my drafting table up and go back to illustrating stories...
only maybe this time it should be MY stories........
just for fun
( i wonder if my drafting rule still works? it's been on the board for so long.......... 29 years......wow)
i am thinking........... i could dust off my rapidographs......
and maybe get the sonic cleaner for them too
maybe do some fun stuff like drawing in the woods
i haven't done THAT for ages and ages.......
i think that was over 30 years ago as well
and the funny thing was......
i was ALWAYS drawing in the woods
always
sitting on a rock by a stream and drawing roots and trees and understory
i think that's how it got my love of the eastern woodlands

well...........we'll see
cause gardening/canning season is just around the corner..........

inspite of how cold it's been

starting seeds and more seeds

this will post tomorrow TUESDAY....
but i am typing it up tonight monday

i have been planting lettuces and chards and spinaches
and marigolds!
and nasturtium

i accidently over planted chard.........
mixed in with lettuce from last years saved seeds

don't ask..........................
but i think i should have enough chard to feed the entire block and a small herd of goats

bernie brought the new van home today
his company gave it to him
i haven't seen it yet
i should have gone out and looked huh?

maybe tomorrow

i canned today
i had to recan pickles so that was done
and i fixed the discoloration in the dishwasher
hung laundry
stoked the stove
you know......... stuff

i realized i didn't order enough lettuces
it's always something huh?

i am trying to find a good cranberry, and the elderberry
i would like three of each to start
and maybe two more blueberries.........

i REALLY wish i could get a dwarf necterine, dwarf pear, and pie cherry
and i missed the deadline for fedco trees

i am going to start a new hat i think
plum and light gray for the new winter coat that i got on sale
and then
i think i need to knit some lace
what do you all think?

ok since we made the decision to stay here until the depression is over,
we also decided to put in a greenhouse
i could use the space
now THAT will be put on the back as a lean to
and i am seriously thinking of flinching some of the early pen framing........

to grow lettuces in

on the deck..................

we don't need a table do we?


not on the deck right?

lettuce

spinch
chard

now the seeds are in the planters.......
it's up to mother nature now

i may however do some lettuce seedlings in the house
i have those biobags
they are sacks that are in green plastic with holes cut in them to put the plants through
that hang
i am thinking of putting lettuces in there

i miss my greens


i got two blueberry plants and a blackberry over the weekend
i want elderberry and cranberry

then necterine, peach, pear, apple, cherry
maybe they can go in the ground in the fall?

i haven't found a place for the trees yet so that's why i am not yet getting them

i decided all dwarf for the mini orchard
i need to be able to reach them without too much hassle

i figure that we are stuck here for the depression,
and we need to make sure that we are covered

also as the big coniferous trees die out front, we are going to replace them with food
and they are dying,
i don't know why but there seems to be a lot of them dying all over this area
i hope the big ones between jackass' and our house stay healthy cause i would hate to have to deal with them coming down

i also have decided to put privacy fencing out front and down the uphill side....where from the road is a clear sight to my yard
i will back it with fruits i think
berries

but that all is for another day
today i have to do some pickles and plant more seeds

little odds and ends

bernie put the ducks out this morning
i was watching from the window
they ran under one of the old apple trees
and he had to sort of herd them down

cleo ( why doesn't that surprise me?)
and phoebe......
lillianna was already down in the day pen

i had a moment to smile at them as he got behind them and told them to go to the day pen
they did
they are good little ducks most of the time (although cleo did eat all the snowdrop flowers on the way down to the day pen)


i am very tired lately
i think it was partly worry over bernie's eyes as well as my sheep and goat,
i have them situated now i believe

they will be moving next weekend it looks like

i have to start the tomatoes, every year i start them later and later with the hopes that i get them in the ground without having to bury 18" of plant under the dirt
i am only going to do a few plants of them, a slicer for bernie, black plum for salsa
and a couple of paste tomatos.....just in case
i need to move the vegtable garden or move the trees
since i won't move mature trees and HEAVEN help anyone that looks at them with a chainsaw

it's the garden
i am going to see if we can put it on the south side of the house
and if we can put stairs off the deck there with privacy fencing on the front line between us and the street

the garden out back with the day pen.......i am going to leave that to perrenial veggies
multiplier onions, rhubarb, horseradish etc........

it looks like now we are to stay here for the remaineder of the depression

so lets make it a bit easier on me no?

planted greens

yesterday

in the rain

there are small plants coming up out back,

so maybe it is really spring ?

ordered glasses for bernie

LINK to Elizabeth's story

sunglasses

online at zenni

less then 67.00 he got progressive polarized (magnetized 'clipon' shades)

so he's got sunglasses and back up glasses

if he likes them

i will get him a second pair of back up regular glasses

then it's my turn

and i can't wait

i saw a really cute pair of purple half frames i would love

i'll let you all know

now the last pair of RX sunglasses (polarized) we had gotten bernie were like 800!

we paid about 500 and the then insurance paid the balance

he lost them but it doesn't matter as his rx changed

now we used an optomitrist at walmart who was EXTREMELY good

and picked up that genetic thing

our question is why the guy we been going to for like 18 years never did

we got him a pair of safety glasses for work at walmart as it is manditory and we didn't have too much time to waste

now when i go

i will go online and get mine at zenni

i want computer glasses too

i already picked out so many cute frames

and my current rx sunglasses......i am going to relense them

cause i really like them

and i am going to get me a second back up pair of sunglasses as well

for what we would have paid at a brick and mortar eyeglass store for ONE pair for me

i can get something like 10 pairs online!

i always need back up pairs...... and i would love back up sunglasses

the tint on mine is now two different colors.......one purplish and one grayish

i don't know why

but really i can't wait

we got some very good news

we have been very upset and worried about bernie's eyesight
he got new glasses and there was a problem with his retinas
we sweated the time until todays opthamologist appointment

the good news is that while yes there IS a abnormality with his retina, it is minute
and that the opthamolgist said, that he was born with it..........

and that most likely he will never have a problem with it
however he will be rechecked yearly, just in case

this was a HUGE load off our shoulders

duckies

LINK to Elizabeth's story

spring is indeed here

the duckies are back to foraging,
i opened some of the winter draft proofing on their pens
they crack me up, as now they are to the point where i can find a dandelion and call them over

they RUSH ME
i kick up leaves and they come running over

i love those ducks

i am not getting friendly with the new pullets as eventually they will be in the stock pot
but the ducks will live a long life (as will marguerite, dulcette and henrietta)
they are actually feathered garden tools
with the motto ...........'death to slugs' emblazoned on a sash...........

nex ut tardus

that is from the english to latin translation site

hhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm

maybe it isn't that good in latin.....i can't see that on a little shield on their wings

but to return to their usefullness

they are little slug eatting machines
and turn them into eggs!
which btw, their eggs are now full sized duck eggs
cleo isn't laying yet
which i am grateful for
i am going to give them a while yet before i put the drake with them
i want them foraging and recovered from the winter

phoebe and lillianna will be able to lay fertile eggs as a few folks want them
but if the drake is too rough with them
i am going to not let him near them

this past winter was hard on everyone
i did make sure everyone had greens and alfalfa
but it's nothing like foraging for wild stuff

in knitting around here
another pair of mittens
you know.......i knit mittens, socks, hats, cowls almost all the time
i can't find so many pairs of mittens that i knit
and socks
where the hell did they all go
so i keep knitting
i expect someday
when we move or when this place is getting cleared out after my death............
someone is going to find a stash of knitting mittens and hats

and some cream colored long curly cat hair

cause i am 99.9999999999999999999999999999999 % sure
that thaddeaus knows something about all the missing knitting

and he ain't talking

a young girl needs us

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=3652237

paypal link (tinyurl)

Light the Way Home
A night of light
To bring Elizabeth
Campanelli
Home again, healthy
Please join in “Light the Way Home”, a
fundraising effort for Elizabeth Campanelli, a 14 year old Tannersville
resident, student of Pocono Mountain East High School, who has just been
diagnosed with brain cancer in February of 2009.
Luminaries will be sold for
$1.00 each, from March 5th thru April 10th. The luminary kits, include 1 bag and
1 candle and will be available for sale at Pocono Township municipal building,
Friendly’s in Tannersville, Dales Cafem , Miss Margaret’s Movement and Dance,
Turkey Hill in Tannersville, and Furino’s pizza in Snydersville.
Luminaries
should be lit and displayed on the front of each person’s property, beginning at
sundown on April 11th.
Monies collected, after paying for the luminaries,
will be given directly to Elizabeth’s parents. A portion of the money collected
will also be given to the Ronald McDonald House, as well as St. Jude’s
Children’s Hopsital.
Please call Christine at (570) 517-3686 or email christine@harvell.com with any
questions.

my family

here is a picture of my grandparents
the older girl is my mom
it's her mom and dad
two brothers and little sister

i am finding my mother's family
today i found my aunt maggie

one by one i am finding them

hang on family.............i'm getting there

the girls

well today was

'assess a wet duck day'


now i am all wet too

bernie filled the little wading pond up on the driveway and i put three slightly dirty ducks in

(falstaff has to wait until we can give him the small black concrete mixer tray, as he can't be trusted just out and about)


after they splashed around and got thoroghly soaking wet
i picked them up and flipped them over

just as i suspected
they have some cuts on their feet
it was a hard winter and i think between the ice and cold and the rough terrain out back
they got a bit cut up
so i am going to get some stuff for their little feetsies

cleo as usual is the worse
but nothing stops her ( thank goodness)
she is so tiny compared to the others and every thing affects her more

yesterday, i pulled a head of cabbage leftover out of the garden, and went to give it to the girls
i got MOBBED!!!!!!!!!!

as i was turning to get more, i didn't realize cleo was right behind me
and i stepped on her
but apparently i didn't hurt her as she ate more cabbage then the rest of them put together!

but that duck does worry me


it's getting warm now
the girls are back in their day pen preening
they are good girls, as i always tell them

'feather care is so important'

even phoebe, who we all know is a bit of a schlub................

she should be snowy white by tonight just like the others

ok i have to get going now
i too am soaking wet from holding ducks on their backs and inspecting feet

thank goodness they are that tame
falstaff would sooner die then let me flip him over and hold HIM like a baby
but the girls all love it
i kiss their beaks while i talk to them and look at thier toes

oh before i go

in chicken news

the pullets appear to be settling in now without the boys
however i do have one that i can see problems with..........she's an escape artist
i found her this morning on the top of marguerite's pen
which as you all could imagine.......is a HUGE NO NO


ok now i have to get out of my smelly wet duck drenched tee shirt

till next time


vi

again no sleep

i didn't sleep wednesday night,
(i am actually typing this THURSDAY night for posting in the AM)

ok so thursday recap
the roosters were processed and are now in the fridge for a couple days
then the freezer, the carcasses look good, not a lot of fat but a tiny bit
mark said one of them pecked him, well i imagine they would have
can't blame them

it bothered me a lot until the boys were delivered to the processor
then when i got home
i wasn't bothered at all.......... did i get so hardened?
but i know they were starting to mount the pullets and the poor girls were terrorized

i got the pullet pen semi straight and then they knocked over their waterer
so i put shavings in to dry things up and fed them

i am drying garlic for powdering
hanging laundry by the woodstove to dry

somehow today i hurt my back, but i can't figure out how or when

now

bernie is getting a 98 ford e250 van
he is getting the paperwork straightened out and finding a passenger seat
as it is a used medical coach with a wheel chair lift

it should be home by monday i believe

that is so good cause he really needed a new vehicle,
and since he has gotten a transfer to either new brunswick or east brunswick ( i forget and confuse those two....but it doesn't matter as they are pretty close together)
he will have a comfortable ride
his old pick up was FAR from comfortable



now if only we could get the farm as easily...........

it's cold again
ice is forming on the buckets

cleo has something wrong with her leg
i keep checking it
she is limping a bit
but i can't see anything
and she isn't limping all the time.....just intermittenly
i keep trying to figure out what is causing it
i notice that when she tries to walk too fast she limps
and occationally sits down
i am wondering if i should keep her inside for a few days
she won't be happy about that


i got to see the other girls that i gave to the folks up the hill
one of them remembered me and is as sweet as the ones i kept
the other one........who always was a bit of a bitch is still standoffish

i saw their chickens as well...... they have 4 black sex linked, and a brownish bantam

nice birds
i love seeing people getting more self sufficient
i remember when these folks said...NOOOOOOOOOOOO CHICKENS
NOOOOOOOOOO ducks
hahahaha

now they have both
and i am thinking........ they need clandestine goats

the perfect farm

and farm house

the perfect farm for me has gently rolling pastures
a south facing exposure for an orchard
flat and level near the house for the garden and the out buildings
a small pond to make the ducks happy
a large enough wood lot to manage for heating, with sugar maples mostly, and other hardwoods perferably nuts
an artisian well

the house should have a window over the sink that goes down to the counter top
and a window directly opposite
these windows need to be at least three feet wide
the kitchen needs to be BIG, with countertops and cabinets and eatting/living space
(it's ok if it is half the house)
a farm house porch is very important
as is a root cellar

closets as well and a REAL old fashioned pantry
a still room would also work well

stone walls are what i have now
and despite the ants i love them

woodstoves are a necessity
all on one floor is probably going to be a necessity

adaptablity to solar is necessity
good rich soil

i need a snug sturdy barn, with space enough for a milking parlor, sheep cote, chicken and duck and turkey coops
maybe even a smallish pigpen
i would like to have a small assortment of animals
a few goats, my sheepies, a milk cow, poultry, a yearly or every other year pig
possibly a yearly steer as well

i am getting toughened to the cycle of life ( today the roosters are being processed-i will miss them but it is more then time)

i would like it in the north eastern USA if possible


why am i again adding this to the blog?

to remind me
as i tend to get lost in the present, and forget what i am hoping for in the future

do dreams ever come true?

move over reality shows...........

we got

DUELING roosters

they hear me or bernie and they are crowing

in harmony

well............ok so many not in harmony
but in unison
two actually can crow

and two are giving it a good try

they should have been dispatched three weeks ago

oye

ok garlic is in the dehydrator
i will be starting spinach and other greens today

slippers are half done

it's raining so today is a good day for planting seeds outside
spinach and some lettuces should be fine

i made burritos for supper last night
mine are simple
garlic, onion, chili powder, meat, flour, water

that's it
not even salt
they were pretty good
i add shredded cheddar and sour cream to mine
bernie adds that and onions and tomato to his
we were too lazy to go downstairs for a jar of salsa

but they were good

morning coffee

is one luxury i look forward to every morning
i used to drink instant coffee until we bought the house
then i decided .........only drip coffee
( let the purest who roasts and grinds their own leave now......this was what i could/can afford)

and i love trying a lot of different coffees
but i come back to a french roast for some reason

however today i am working my way through some odd brand that i've never tried
'aroma'

now don't get me wrong
i love some of thoese fancy freshly ground bean coffees........but if i opted for them
i could only afford coffee once a month or so
and i want my two cups every morning

( ok three cups but don't tell anyone about that third one....it's not even a full cup anyway)

the first sip of hot coffee in the morning is a pleasure
i like mine with a bit of milk
no sugar

occationally if they are on a HUGE sale, i will get the coffee creamer flavor thingies
which i discovered while being treated for lyme, as you can't have milk

anyway

every morning i have my coffee
read my email
plan my day
watch the seasons change outside the windows


and today's plan is....hang the laundry
dry garlic for garlic powder
take the duckies out and refill their pond
marinate a london broil
possibly can meatballs


and YOUR day?

happy second birthday dad

my dad has two birthdays
feb 15
and march 8
mom used to say it was so he could have more chocolate cake

dad and mom loved chocolate
me not so much

anway
dad came to see me over night
partly to tell me one of my cousins was dead
(which is terrible as that was my favorite cousin)

and to spend some time with me as i haven't seen him for a while

and i been having a rough time of it lately with not sleeping and other stresses

it was still good to see dad
mom owes me a visit
as do a few other dead people right now

anyway

i have come to a decision

it looks like i have to sell the sheepies and the goatie
it is going to kill me but i think that is the best for them
i was going to bring them home after my alternative boarding situation fell through
but if the zoning finds out
i will still have no where for them to go
so i am finding homes for them
and i am charging money so that they will be valued

why is it that a lot of times, without money changing hands....... there isn't any value placed on things?

i don't get that
cause i place a lot of value on everything
maybe too much so

ok

i am finally tired
so i am going up
night all

dear trish

it's me vi

i miss you

chickens run amuck

news at 9:30 (cause i don't normally stay up to 11- but then i get up at 12 and can't sleep until 3:30am)
the new chicks are grown now
i think the pullets will be laying in about a month
the roos were to have been processed two weeks ago

they got out of the brooder
now
they are running amuck....literally.............( and i could sure pun like crazy with this one)

we got chickens all over the basement right now
that's a LODDA poop to pick up

later today
i am going to bring in the saw horses and construct a large makeshift pen
i was assured that they will be processed this coming week
the pullets will then go into the layer pens
in the meantime

chickens are on the stairs
on the ground
on the layer pens
and on my mind

the chickens, when interviewed said
buwk buwk buwk

allow me to translate..................

we really LIKE running amuck
we like walking up and down the stairs
we'd tried to come into the main house.....
but were thwarted by dad....who had the nerve to shut the door in our faces
!!!!!
we like to watch mom wash clothes
we like to watch mom open the freezers
we like to watch mom fill our food pans and water buckets and do the ducks water buckets and food pans
and we LOVE to poop on the layers HEADS
cause they are BIG chickens and peck at us when we jump into their spaces

you have got to understand chickenese............

now since i do understand chickenese........
i realized

i spend WAY too much time talking to the animals...........

that and stoking the wood stove

no?

i finally got some sleep

let's hope this trend continues

i could however sleep some more


i piled 4 feet of blankets on me
socks
flannels
drank enough milk to float a small boat
ate CARBS
all in an effort to get "SOME SLEEP"

i still feel like death and taxes but i did get some sleep


now this week marks a very very tragic anniversary.
we lost my friend trish suddenly
i took her passing hard
i am still taking it pretty hard
i've lost quite a few other people this year as well
some to death
some to 'their season or reason in my life is apparently over'

the older i get the more i realize the wisdom of that saying

People in Your Life
People come into your life fora REASON, a SEASON, or a
LIFETIME,when you figure out which it is,

you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON .....
It is usually to meet a
need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist
you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seen like a God
send ~ and they are.

They are there for the REASON you need them to be ...
then, without warning, any wrong doing onyour part or at an inconvenient time,
they will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away, sometimes they act up and force
you to take a stand. What you must realize is that your need has
been met, your desire fulfilled, and their work is done. The prayer you
sent up hasbeen answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON ..... It is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make
you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually
give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real!
But ... only for a SEASON.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons ..... Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to good use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

that is so very very true
once i started to 'get' that........ some things were a slight bit easier for me

some other personal truths i learned

there a millions of people in the world
if for some reason, being 'friends' with someone is too hard for either party, maybe it is time to move on
like wise if the YOU of who you are is somehow difficult for someone to put up with
MOVE ON
don't wait
you don't have to get the garlic necklace.....but put some distance
no one needs to feel that somehow a 'friend' just barely tolerates them

when you spend 95% of your time trying to defend your words or actions............ time to move on

when i was in art school, my illustration teacher told us

if someone keeps nitpicking your work and you change it and it still isn't
quite right...
they really want another artist....

so you move on

that works in life too

IF we are here to learn lessons, that would be a part of the lesson......
i know that there are universal truths
and personal truths

universal truths are things that work for everyone.... thou shalt not kill is a universal

well pretty much the commandments
and every religion has some sort of outlines like these

personal truths work inside the universal truths
they bring them down to YOUR indivigual level

one of mine is learning that season and reason thing

i have a 'big' personality
for some reason i get a lot of flack because of it
i can no more change it ( and believe me i have TRIED)
then a fish can breath out of water
i do try and tone it down around people that are uncomfortable with it
but it's not easy
and i tend to burst out later
like a dam that breaks

i am deciding in my life that it is ok for me to have a big personality
and it is ok for people not to like it or me

in that case those people and i don't need to be around each other
no blame or worry on either side
it's just an agree to disagree thing

(it also turns out i inherited my personality from mom's side of the family...... so screw everyone who wants me to change..hahahaha ...oye)


anyway
this is part of where i am on the life lesson path
i have known this in my head........now i am really starting to understand it in my heart

but there sure have been some HUGE bumps in the road

the other part of this is
learning to not be hurt when the season is over
and learning not to look back in pain
that's a bit harder........

ok
enough of this
i need more sleep

it has been over a week

since i last went to town

i went food shopping with bernie

you know i do go out back with the duckies

but to go to town

no

i really need to get out more

left to my own..........i am a hermit

i talk to a few friends

i can

i take care of the animals

i knit

i do odds and ends

what a boring life huh?

summer i'm out more

in the garden and canning

winter not so much

now today we are to get snow

i highly doubt i am going out tomorrow either

now

a fo

this is for carol...........i think she is going to love it

it's just so HER

i will mail it sometime this week if i can ever get out to town

chasing ancestors

i wonder.......

as i track down bits and pieces of information about their lives
now long gone

did they think..........

as they went about their day that a descendant..............

a LONG time in the future was going to be watching them as they
got married,
had children,
got naturalized............
as they bought and sold property

all the thousand little things we take for granted as anonymous
lost in a sea of humanity

did it ever once cross their minds............

someday..........
one of my children's children's children will find this

and say

i have met my ancestor.....................