MAN O PAUSE

oh man oh man

i am (like very very many of my friends) in menopause.......

now the classic definition of menopause is a cessation of the menses....
or the stopping of that annoying monthly nightmare called a period

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
nononono

it is truly the time in life......when your hormones (if you are female)
give you enough of a break.......for you to sit back and say.........


HEY

MAN

PAUSE

STOP

when your spouse or SO gives you grief........( cause they DO that.....they are after all MEN)
or says something totally stupid
instead of smiling and thinking in your head......

'what a freeken duffus, ........... we need to discuss this'

you turn around ( and if you are like me, a knitter.......you probably have a few very pointy potential weapons in your hands) and tell the MAN to back the F*** off
and get the hello out of your way

(NO???????????????????.....wait a bit.......one good hot flash and you will be telling Iraqi terrorists off)

and if he has half a brain cell left........he will leap out of your way......

i see my husband aging.....
and i don't know.....maybe it is pms on my part
or MANopause.......

or the moon in aries.....

but i SWEAR sometimes i just want to crack his head open to see if indeed there IS something swimming around in what can only be the utter VACUUM of his mind


the thing is.......
he knows this about me

yet he still continues to tempt fate.......( and my pointed and very very sharp lace needles)
and says dumb ass things.......

like last night

his comment to me,

(when i mentioned we have to actually finish the kitchen if we want to actually SELL the house.......for MONEY)

" hey i do my part around here......i go to WORK every day"

now at this point he realized that the flames he was seeing was NOT from the woodstove.......
but actually from ME
getting seriously mad.......


two seconds before i exploded

see he's a workaholic

he will think NOTHING of working 60-70-80 hours a week
one
two
three
jobs........

but ask him to install a hook on the wall........
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
that is way too much work you know

oh man

so now i got this kitchen....... no countertops
how many years?
98?

and i am getting a tad perturbed.......
(not so anyone would notice)

and after 31 years of marriage........
and 98 years of no kitchen......

i am telling you all the REAL meaning of MAN o PAUSE is

the man better freeken PAUSE.....
get his sh*T together

and get the hell out of the way

or finish the damn kitchen


vi

but i'm not mad or anything
i got MAN o PAUSE