the natives are restless (and hungry today)

and it's cold!
i told bernie not to start the stove as i was going to come down and clean it....which i did
but not until the cats came up and bounced all over me......
'getting UP mom???'
(that would be thaddeaus)
'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmoooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm' (that's calpurrnia)
'mommy, you ok?' (that's fawn)
 and everyone is pointing to their open mouths and obviously empty and STARVING for ten years bellies.
as i type thaddeaus is sitting on the back of my chair and tapping my head occasionally ***hey mom, remember me....?***......... not for them any dried kibble in a bowl.....they spurn that! (ok fawn is forcing herself to take a few bites of the kibble as i type)
meanwhile i am trying to wake up enough to clean up the cat puke that someone left thoughtfully in one of the fancy feast bowls........on the shelf.....oye
and i am trying to make the woodstove warm us up enough so i can think a bit beyond 'SHIT IT'S COLD'

now bernie and i have been discussing what to do tomorrow for my birthday.... we would ordinarily do the bookstore, craft store, pet store circle... (you know,....some of the important stuffs)
and i got a flyer in the email for 33% off or so on borders.......
so i kicked around the website a bit

(and thaddeaus just moved to the arm of my chair as obviously tapping my head wasn't working for him....maybe grabbing my mouse arm will?*** nope he's going for the 'stick my face in mom's ear and eyeball move***)

and i would like to know.....when we have been reduced to THIS?
we live in the most amazing country in the world, in the most amazing magical times......
even with a lot of us out of work and worried.....we still have opportunities that a lot of the world couldn't even begin to dream about.
and since i too am guilty of kevetching about stuff......
i am going to remind me right now
 a medieval peasant slept on a straw pallet on the floor...... could not read nor write. and lived a LONG hard working life cause of the hard work, and healthy diet..unless a bad accident (like a stray arrow from some stupid asshole's power struggle) or the plague got them ......simplified yes but still.........
two hundred years ago, the average person usually ate the same boring thing over and over.... standing up a lot of the time.....their lives were hard work, and a LOT dirtier then we realize...... sanitation wasn't like it is now. most folks today haven't ever smelled an outhouse..or a leach field that needs to be ......ahem, 'take care of '
let alone pigs
in my parents childhood (dad would have been 100 this year) illness was a serious mortal problem..... no antibotics so folks died of things that we cure routinely today
i would have been dead long ago as i tend to go septic..... and DID at 17
childbirth deaths, childHOOD deaths.....

we don't have a lot of that today..... we still have accidents, yes and we have cancers and world events..... but our lives are so far removed from the simple daily  struggle to survive.
i guess this is me saying......gee i have to stop and remember, how good i do have it
even though there are things like my kitchen from hell that drive me nuts
i have a roof!
i have food
i have warm clothes and good shoes (no closets but i got clothes ........all over the place !!!)
i have a new mattress.......(although climbing onto the bed at night is monumental since with the new mattress it's higher then my hips are!)
i am surrounded by amazing little beings that love me (bernie included)
that willingly come over to be petted and kissed ....... all different species! how cool is that?
i have wonderful friends...... some come and go but still they are wonderful while they are here (i think of it now like classrooms, some folks change their majors and focus )
i have bernie......who even though there are times when i want to crack up his skull to see the two squirrels fighting over the acorn (cause he sometimes says something so impossibly ridiculous as to make me sure there aren't brains in there) and then follows THAT up with something so remarkable insightful that my head just spins.....or something so thoughtful that i am just totally blown away

i am thinking that really..... whoever had that whole 'gratitude, count your blessings' idea was on the money...
i don't think wealth or more 'things' make us happier......
i think realizing just how much we do have that is tailored by the universe JUST FOR US, is the most amazing thing
how even the challenges put before us are so totally OUR OWN that there can be no doubt that there is order and purpose and a plan bigger then we are
and although i at times suspect that some of the events in my life are the blooper reel for the universe's holiday party.......
occasionally i get to step back in awe and see the merest hint that there is a REASON for it all.......even if i can't quite grasp what it is

ok tomorrow..... come on and get here!!!!