traditional times of reflection

there are certain times in our lives
and points during the year
where it is traditional to look back and reflect on what has passed
to assess the validity of actions and choices
on one level, life does simply seem to be a series of choices
with some random events thrown in for variety

i do believe there is a point to it all though

and part of the point i am beginning to suspect, is in the choices we make
ultimately most of these choices won't matter,
such as .............. 'do i have water with this supper, or tea'

'do i have time for a nap'

'should i send for this magazine'

some of course are totally life altering........

'do i move to brazil?'

'do i have a child'


i can't help but think that all our choices are strung together and that after our earthly life is over,
we get to assess them on another level

i also wonder why so many 'change your life' and self help books abound
aren't we making changes daily?
with every single choice we make?

now in my life
i have lost numerous friends this year
some to death
some to 'their season or reason' was over in our lives

i have had new friends come into my life

i have raised yet MORE baby animals
(seems to be a yearly thing now)
and indeed currently have baby chickens that i am raising........at arms length
( 4 roosters in this batch it looks like)

the ducks were a LOT of work
and absorbed me totally but i am very pleased with how that worked out
for the most part

i adore the girls i kept
they are a source of wonder to me daily
and i love watching them waddle in and out from the house to their little day pen, they have such purpose in their walk

i am also learning that i can and DO make excellent decisions for us
carefully weighed
so far the majority have worked out to our benefit
the thing that is continuously amazing to me is that i can actually think something up
and have it happen

as an aside, that would be represented by the tarot card 'the magician'
***making physical that which was only thought- or taking from above to bring to below***

this time of reflection also traditionally involves resolutions
which i don't really think work for most people

i think a resolution should be more like an evolution
but what do i know

i don't do resolutions
however i do have lists of things i think may be important to accomplish this coming year

but the list is not set in stone
some things drop off and some things make it on there
and some things vary in importance

a rough list for me now is

get a new mattress for us ( 28 years is way too long even for a sterns and foster)
put in fruit bushes, elderberry, blueberry, cranberry, blackberry
get the duck pen finished
and add a chicken coop
finally get the kitchen done
now......if the economy turns around......MOVE
if not
replace the studio windows and reside afterwards
make a nice cold frame......maybe not a hoop house as i have been hearing of collapses
but a nice LONG ( possibly down the north line of the property) cold frame

reorganize not only the studio
but the basement
get more bookcases

get my flour mill and more grain storage

on my list is also a trip to lancaster for bulk canning jars again
this time i want jellies, 10 oz, 12 oz and gallons......
( the gallons are for juice and grain storage)

now i also have some 'i would really like to..................if i get the time'
i would really like to sew more
i would really like to go back to making dolls
i would really like to get back to illustration
i would really like to read more
( ok so that last one is sorta not a point.....as i do read a LOT..... but suddenly after 20 years of almost total non fiction, i find myself wanting to read some fiction and reread literature.... i do love my dickens)

i think at this point in my life
my overal goal is
a quiet peaceful life
with home grown food
and home made entertainments

a hands on, handcrafted life
where i am involved in all aspects

there is nothing wrong with a consumer driven life
but it isn't the life for me

happy new year everyone

vi