northern lights and polar bears

don't like to be painted apparently......or at least not by me......not right now

although i did dream of it so i will redo yet another one...... starting with the polar bears then moving on to the ducks with a big finish by the northern lights....
this will not defeat me easily
actually i am going to cut up a bunch of paper and just practice the elements (well if nothing else they may make ok cards no?)
i also realized that yet another trip to the art supply store...but this time again online is needed....for stretching tape and a board......... and qouashe........ and brushes.. damn this is so much more expensive then it was when i was in school or out in the field........ supplies cost the earth, moon, and a kidney now....then it was only a small asteroid worth of money

meanwhile bernie got up in a pissy mood, he's trying to get some sleep since he basically didn't all february. i came down and let him sleep and when he finally did get up (work called him)- he was annoyed that it was so late.
however even if i wanted to wake him i was trying to get the wood stove going again

so this weekend is sort of off to a bad start.

vicki and i talked about going to see alice in wonderland. then bernie said he'd like to go
maybe we should do a double couples date next weekend?
although vicki and i were going to go next friday. it's ten bucks a person to go to the movies! so that's twenty.......and if we go out we'd have to go to the chinese buffet which i think is twelve per person..... so that's almost 45 or so....and if you want a soda or popcorn at the movie....it's over 50!!!
that's a LOT of money
(sayeth the almost amish vi who's last seen movie was snow dogs)

i am thinking of trying to find some sort of board downstairs that i can staple wet watercolor paper to, as i don't have tape right now that will hold it
(stretching paper is a pain in the ass- i much prefer illustration board but i couldn't FIND any that is 100% rag with a hp finish and is archival at the art supply store....... it's not like it used to be)
these current issues are enough to drive me back to black and white again..... and i would ignore all color work......which would be a shame as i really am pretty good with color......if i can get the supplies under control (that's what i get for not keeping up with the industry)

i just hung out the laundry, it looks like a good day to dry out on the line... warmish, dry, a good light breeze and sunny.  i am going to be drying on the inside line as well

i found the hat that i made for bernie for our anniversary, and which i had lost during that snowstorm i walked down the hill in.
sure enough as i drove down it was sitting on the side of the road just waiting for me.....encased in ice and snow but perfect.
i brought it home and defrosted it, washed it, blocked it and dried it by the wood stove. he wore it today while bringing in the wood
it's actually better then new as i didn't block it before i gave it to him in the first place!
and none the worse for the adventure.
i realize that in small things i can be pretty lucky...... he loves that hat with the color. i had to go all the way to jersey for the yarn. it is his favorite color blue.

yesterday i went to town to get bedding for chickens and ducks......and toys for parakeets
the parakeets love their new ring toy. instead of staring at it like it is a budgie eating monster, they started to fight over who got to play with it first.....gotta love the budgies
now all we need to do is bring them in another apple tree branch for the lower end of their cage. oh and i need to winnow their seeds- they waste a lot

bernie is making lunch for us out of leftovers. turkey! i love turkey.
lately i haven't been wanting to cook.
he gets home so late, and dinner is usually ruined
so i been trying to get the meat at least timed right and then worry about the sides when he walks in.
it's too late for me, as by 5 i am pretty much wiped out for the night
i can manage to do something sitting down, like knitting or reading and sometimes drawing..not too close though but standing to do cooking is now too much for me
and i can't eat late either or i get sick all night

i am going to have to plan some sort of homemade tv dinner or something
what i have been doing is a couple of 'big meals' such as roasts and then we slice and reheat with gravy or in sandwiches or stir fry
but i need to rethink this a bit
and soon we will have deck salads which is the stuff i grow on the deck for daily meals
(i am going to refill all the containers out there with fresh dirt this year for our deck salads)

now sometime this weekend i need to start seeds...as i am way behind anyway
oh man it never ends

and the polar bears seem to be in cahoots with the northern lights to make sure i struggle at the drawing board......
oye they must be MEN
(no offense don)

it may have been a bit premature

i decided that lilli the top duck needs more work but i am going to still give it a bit more time

anyway that's how i work, pretty much from start to finish........now if anyone is asleep you can wake up now......we're done. and if you folks have all stuck with me, thank you for staying.... i realize it took quite a while. but that's how i work....other people work differently (probably more efficently then i do)

i didn't get to town yesterday as when i checked the balance in the checking, there sort of wasn't any....
i hope to get there today.
bernie couldn't get the stove going this morning, so i am down really early, i opened the stove door and poof......fire.
the cats are sick too so i wanted that stove going.....calpurrnia is feeling better but now thaddeaus is got the sneezes and from the stench that followed him out of the litter box before.....he'll get a few doses of the fastbalance GI stuff too today and tomorrow
he's got his sinus meds started ( the vet gives him chinese herbs and they work great)

i started doing the research for the next painting......this one is going to be a redo of the one i did about the ducks and the polar bears. I think it was from last winter....when they wouldn't go out in the snow...only this one will be color..

i spend last evening researching aurora borealis and polar bears......i have now collected so many images of polar bears that i even have them going to the bathroom......i put it in a slide show so i can watch it and learn how polar bears move.....and look and think...
as cuddly and humorous as they LOOK and at times ARE....they are still large and very powerful carnivores, and to remind me of that i also saved pictures of a bear eating a baby polar bear cub
not pleasant but accurate.  it also helps me keep them real as opposed to cartoons i think.
and even though the ducks fears are unfounded.........fear does sometimes have a basis in reality.

there is an entire industry sprung up around polar bears in a place called Churchill. they have tours and all to see the bears. Churchill is built on a migratory path and is basically where polar bears hang out while waiting for the hudson bay to freeze up enough to go out on the ice to catch seals. which is their main diet.

now the northern lights are also interesting.. they are solar particles caught at the poles in the earths magnetic pull, and right now is a good time to see them in the northern areas.....alaska, Canada, Russian finland........ and down in the southern pole too
the predominate color appears (at least in the photos) to be a sort of neon green and they are interesting.
they DO pulse and swirl and change shape and color and there are videos on the net of them, as well as a ton of still pictures. they are also semi transparent and you can see the stars through them.

now in thinking how this translates out to paint on a surface......with watercolor for the most part, you have to sort of do it back wards .....preserving the white of the paper for the lightest areas.
normally i would paint it and go in at the end with opaque whites....
instead i am going to mask out some of the whites and then work from light to dark
i may still have to go in at the end with opaque white but i am going to try not to
(traditional watercolorists did back in the day..and they also scraped the paper  to get back to white)
so we'll see
i have yet to order gouache anyway- which is how i would have most likely do something like this years ago

i got the tax papers together, scanned and emailed yesterday- i had an issue with bernie's tool bill from work.
so i spent the afternoon downloading check images from the bank....only to find out that bernie neglected to bring home the second part of the tool bill!
he's got the long term bill which is the honking tool box (i swear it is a penis extension) but not the day to day tool bill........ so i add up the canceled checks and had a discrepancy...... which made me nuts.

it's all straightened out now......and i need to discuss with bernie his payments on these together but separate bills.....

the fire appears to have caught well now. i just fed the cats their fancy feast with hot water, and i added the chinese sinus herbs and powered acidophilus. fawn is on the cat tree, i think thaddeaus is on the window and i can see calpurrnia by the woodstove....... staring at the wood (good thing she's pretty as she isn't the brightest rocket on the birthday cake)
i dreamt of them and mice last night.....that mice were in the bedroom and ready to jump on the bed and the cats didn't quite have a clue...and THAT no doubt has a factual basis in actual daily reality around here.
too bad phoebe can't sleep with us.

now TODAY, if the money is in the account (auto deposit of the pay) i am off to the town to get the errands run........ and the seeds planted that i am two weeks late on, and the million other little errands i have yet to do. THEN i sit down to torture myself with 'art'
OK KIDDING on the torture...but maybe not entirely
it's a challenge but don't think it isn't hard at times -although it's good hard mostly... but if it's too nauseas making, i can always scrap it and say.......'well i can't do it'

ok off i go now
have a nice day everyone
happy friday

day 17 and i believe it's finished!!!!!

***this is about an hour prior to it being done... it looks different now***

i am letting it sit for a while until i decide if it is or isn't
i need to not see it it for a bit so i can see it fresh
now i am going to figure out the next one
i want to thank you all for coming along on the very long ride with this drawing
(if you are all still here???--- you folks have been sorta quiet again)

i had forgotten that when something is finished......i don't always know it.
(yeah i know...i only been doing this for how long now?)

well anyway, i am typing this wen night march 3........ i got a pork loin in the oven with pineapple, garlic, peppers and onions.... bernie is on his way home
i just got up from the drafting table...... and i kept looking at that drawing and saying
'i think you're finished.....but i'm not totally sure yet'
so when that happens you walk away for a while
i'll put it in the archive box and start something else while i wait for it to let me know

the snow is mostly melted here, so i put lilli down in the back pen. she wanted to be carried and kissed the whole way down
momma wanted an ice bath
phoebe wanted to stay in and play in the bucket
falstaff wanted a woman.....he didn't get that however he did get a rap on the head when he tried to peck ME

the little chickens are very funny...... they are struting around like they are BIG chickens.... the BIG girls find that endlessly amusing....... the middle pullets ( the former new pullets) keep telling the little girls that they will eat them if they venture too close
the little girls then go around by the really old hens....... who don't really care either way
smart chickens them little guys

it's warm here and the snow is melting
i was to have gone to town.....
hay
stall pellets
vermiculite
new swing for budgies
(new budgie?)
post office
craft store for beads

i didn't go
i may have to steel myself and go tomorrow
bernie went saturday for my meds but the doctor hadn't called them in yet.... i don't know if she's done that yet or not

i moved toys around in the budgies cage
i moved that red swing to the front and also moved the climbing rings
they are playing with it all now
they made me laugh i swear..... they are also bickering back and forth then kissing each other....sorta like bernie and me.
i would like to get them another swing like that red one and more climbing rings as they seem to really like them
and i will put them lower in the cage i think

thaddeaus is sneezing.....calpurrnia has a bit of the runs
and i think fawn is ok
yup spring is about here
when the seasons change the cats get colds......never fails

i also need to decide my birthday present soon........i already decided my birthday cake ( icecream cake, i think i would like peach and raspberry icecream)
with whipped cream and a cherry......... or several cherries

i think a color rendering is next ...... i am thinking

day 16 and i am taking a break this morning

i desperately need to get to the feed store for hay for the ducks and new chickens
and stall pellets too
i need to go to the po
i could use a swing by the book store and the craft store (beads for the next few knits)
and i would love to go and get the budgies a couple more toys
(and maybe a couple more budgies???? i would LOVE a lutino and a violet..... and maybe a sky blue and one of them chartruse glow in the dark greens.....that would fill my aviary up too)

today is wenesday right?

it seems to be raining a bit here but i think bernie is getting snow down there!
he didn't stoke the stove for me this morning, as he said it was full of ash.... but really it wasn't bad....however the ash bucket is FULL......
i lit the fire

last night one of the baby chickens got out and was running around the basement......bernie put her back but i may have to get the flight netting out for their run
i would imagine phoebe was a bit unsettled

i think they are all going out to the day pens today, it looks like the snows are almost gone

i spoke to deb about snowy yesterday, i would imagine she (and he) will be out here by end of march.... we are going to rename him... i would imagine something that will sort of go with thaddeaus and calpurrnia. i was thinking of something out of hamlet..hahaha larertes?
oye

i have yet to start the seeds, which also needs to be done today or at least this week as well as the taxes.....will someone light a fire under me?

also today we have a problem with calpurrnia, she's got the runs a bit
i am giving her the medicine but so far it's not helping as fast as usual OR she is continuing to do something that is not helping
i just gave her another dose (twice a day works normally for a few days)
and some fancy feast
ok i am eating my oatmeal now and about to get the ducks out etc

birdlegs from TN called me yesterday but didn't leave a message...i called her back and i did leave a message (mo called too, but her i actually got to talk to which was pretty cool)
anyway bird, i did return your call.................
next time leave a freeken message ok?
we had to go to town

day 15 and i realized i got a problem

i been blogging about the duckies for quite a while now....and the chickens, cats, sheep, goat, budgies.......etc
i started drawing the duck stories last year because i didn't know what to do with myself....i couldn't garden as i threw my back out moving my sheep (just as well, since it was a TERRIBLE season anyway)
i was always taught to be true to what you know, in your life, in your drawing and in your writing. so that's what i write about and draw......
now the other drawings about the duck stories are great, and i love them.....they are a bit more kid friendly then this latest
they show the duck's personalities and how they look at me in disbelief every time they are scared and imagining that their fears are just outside the basement door waiting to chomp on their feathered butts.
this latest drawing take it a thousand steps higher, and i need to make a decision. do i redo the others to 'match' ? i think that would be a little old for kids, do i keep this but redo a kid friendly one...? this is a good peice, but just not as viewer friendly and cartoony as the other ones- this has the feel of a gallery peice.....somthing that could hang in a gallery show

do i scrap the entire thing and just keep doing whatever and get it printed out for posters and fine art prints? greeting cards and such?
( do i enter a magazine contest?)
i don't know what to do again (figures....it's march and again i don't know what to do)
i am not sure i want to cross the threshold over to being a fine artist as opposed to a commercial artist........(no one wants to go to that place in my head.......let alone me)

can i have you folks weigh in a bit? i realize that the decision is up to me.... but i no longer have the feedback that i used to get in art school, or from my peers in the field....i am rather isolated up here in the mountains.
(bernie's not much help, he just shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders and tells me to do whatever i want)

actually today i may go to town for a bit........ i can count on one hand with fingers left over the amount of time i have been off the property in feb. (it was three times) i need to pick up some odds and ends and also get to the PO for my paper from dick blick......(which means i am behind again on cutting watercolor paper into quarters for storage- i have 30 sheets to cut now)
although i really have so very little left on this drawing and i want to see how it turns out.... i am amazed when stuff appears ......it's like reading a good book, i can't wait to see the next page.

pullets and day 14 i've been at this 2 weeks?

first off........ new chicken pictures.... aren't they cute??? these little girls are a cross of a speckled sussex rooster on buff orpington hens....

i am very interested in seeing how they lay. i think they will be really amazing laying hens... .......and i love the patterns on their wings, although i do like the buff orpington shape and colors much better, but the folks that bred these little girls are working on getting those pretty patterns in the buff orpington so i may end up with spangled orps for hens... i love these little chickens

they should end up a rich deep reddish buff color.... and glow in the sunlight....i want new chicken tractors for them too. even if i have to do it myself.

now this is the drawing to date...i just now took the photo.

as you all can see it's about done... i am going back to the drafting table in a few minutes and work on it......i am thinking maybe a day or two more and it will be done- a few more leaves and i am sure a few more faces will pop up.... and i am going to give a modified egg tempera a go. i also would like to do a bunch more black and whites like this with color on overlays

i have the over lay pads so i am good to go

i'll print out a 'dummy' to do the color work over....and then do straight egg tempera for others...... ducks huh? who knew ducks could look this good??

i have to say even at times though the work is tedious, i am enjoying it...i love watching it emerge from the page, and i love watching the movement in it

lately all i have been wanting to do is sit and work so that must be a good thing right?

in duck news.....i had to bath phoebe in the sink......she's filthy this morning and i don't know why

i took momma out into the pond which was frozen.....tomorrow they are all going into the day pens... bernie didn't dig us out..he was so exhausted i told him not to.

so by tomorrow i think the snow will be melted enough to bring the girls out back

meanwhile lilli and falstaff are out in the day pens

tomorrow everyone goes out in the day pens

and i think i am going to put falstaff in the A Frame if i can get him into it.

that leaves me the temp pen to put a bath tub in.......and lilli and phoebe will take turns

i'm planning on dumping hot water into the pond to thaw it for momma

i need to get a white sheet so i can put that on the budgie cage and take a video of them in there

they are just so cute.......

yesterday after we picked up the little chickens, we stopped at dick blick art supplies down in emmaus.... they didn't have the m graham watercolors or gouashe, they didn't have the pigment set, they didn't have the brushes i was looking for..... or the clayboards

so i just got two small jounals for working out stuff and a set of 10 artist water soluble crayons..... (not at all like normal kids crayons)

i had a coupon.......

and i get 10% off over that

bernie got glue

and then we stopped for an icecream

i baked a turkey breast with asparagus and parsley potatoes that bernie made saturday night...... and gravy so we ate well and we have good leftovers for the week

my birthday is coming up......i have to decide on a present

and i am trying to figure how to afford to bring deb and snowy the new cat out....

oye

so that's today (and today IS monday)

a bakers dozen or.... with 13 you get a coven

and brooms!
let's see
first off some of my art supplies came today!!! yeah!!! the watercolors and the micron pens so i am going to be finishing up that drawing.
i stopped and did a fast color chart with the watercolors....... wow are they saturated color... hugely saturated i am totally amazed.
they are worth what i paid for them
i got pigment stained fingers now
and i also realized i am missing an orange based red.....i would prefer a transparent.
i may just go for an orange we'll see
and a cold blue....... i will probably need either a sap green or hookers green to round things out


i did more research on egg tempera and i would like to get the opportunity to try it..... i don't know how though without spending a shit load of cash on the pigments and muller
it's the muller i am worried about, they cost about 60 bucks
that's a lot of paint i could get just for that price.....
i wonder if i could use some of the techniques with watercolor...after all it's just pigment, bing

tomorrow (which is your today.....so TODAY) i am getting more chickens... a sussex X buff orpington cross..... WOOHOO...... loves me some heavy english breeds.......
i adore the orps but i think the speckled sussex crossed on to the orp will end in EXCELLENT laying ability. and i am so needing eggs....them two pullets i hate are toast....their days are numbered and they are going into the stock pot...... i have spoken!

*** btw, i have to tell you folks, i been answering you all in the comments, so if you make a comment most likely i am answering there...... but i SWEAR lately i am a ditz so don't hold me to it***

bernie is still in a daze from last week, he's glad he's home though. he even missed the chickens....... i came down during the night to stoke the stove but he snored on undisturbed.
and no longer will thaddeaus have to fill in for his daddy and fart on my head...... BERNIE is home to do that now.....and whatever he did eat down there was obviously RANCID CABBAGE
oh man...... even the cat slept elsewhere

calpurrnia has the runs...(since apparently we are discussing 'digestive' issues) so she got her first full and unwanted dose of Fastbalance GI
that stuff works wonders...... 24 hours
she'll get another dose tonight and two tomorrow just for insurance
she's been gifting us with piles all over the place... GREEN ONES
i think she's eating the lemon grass plant
we gave her a second dose tonight and fawn one as well......thaddeaus is ok and doesn't need it.
i think calpurrnia is feeling better and i haven't seen any more green piles around

i made rice pudding again....this one wasn't bad at all .....two eggies some left over rice....milk, sugar and vanilla

i soaked the cooked rice in sweetened vanilla milk
then added the eggs and cooked/stirred over the stove heat
it's creamy and i like it!
it is missing something....i am not sure if it's cinnamon...nutmeg or what. (could be salt too)
but it's the right texture and it's ALMOST right

i just got up from more work on the ducks
i am up at the top now, i'll be finishing off lillianna soon and then the last of the background.
now i want to redo the polar bears and the killer whales.
and speaking of the ducks, momma duck again took a sort of ice bath... lilli wouldn't and she also was thinking of trying to fly down to the day pen, but we had to stop her just in case i can't get her back up from the bottom of the yard.
phoebe was in as was lilli today
tomorrow is phoebe and lilli's turn out i think- falstaff and momma can stay in
momma is an interesting duck.....she loves me as much as i love her but she also has no problem giving me a hard time...... i got duck dilemmas... yup duck dilemmas oh man

now as to the chickens, tomorrow (which is today when you read this) we are going for chickens........ so we'll have babies soon and be in over our heads in eggies in about a month
i love my chickens... next series of pictures i think will be chickens

tomorrow (today) we are also going to have roast turkey and parsley tators and asparagus, i was to have gone to the art supply store today or tomorrow but the time is off for it to happen
oh man... and tomorrow is the last day of the 30% off sale

oh and bernie tried to get the RX that the doctor supposedly called in.....ahem.....she didn't call it in....... oye

ok you all still with me? i still owe you folks some pictures i may just wait for this drawing to be done now...it really is that close to a finish

closing in on a finish......an even dozen ( maybe a few more days)

well first off it's friday evening as i type this...bernie is home!!! yeah!
he's in the shower
i got beef cubes in wine in the oven..... he didn't tell me he was going to come home until late so he isn't getting a fabulous dinner like i would have done


the roads here are clear but the snow out back is pretty packed down....so technically i guess i walked on water today!

i am getting to the last 1/3 of this drawing, and i made the decision to just go with any image that presents itself so one leaf will look like it's touching water! we'll see how that develops as that's what i saw and put in at this moment.

i am thinking of the color work again...... in addition to the overlays for the black and whites...

i think that possibly egg tempera would be a compatible with my style technique....it takes forever however, months and months... hmm maybe even several lifetimes... i'll never get done with this project at this rate
i am sitting here at 3am stoking the stove, bernie is upstairs snoring. i am actually up because i was thinking of this drawing you folks so kindly are following......and pondering the feasibility of egg tempera,....... i have GOT to be out of my mind......seriously, as it's a very slow and tedious method that produces amazing luminous glowing color......... but do i really want luminous and glowing......as normally my work is about how i see lights and shadows. while i love brilliant saturated color...... (the brighter the better preferably in rainbows) what i do is more like a walk through a dark woods with sunlight only occasionally breaking through the leaves ( i spent and still spend a LOT of time in the woods-only now i own the woods i spend time in)
so the upshot is.....it's almost 3:30am now and i am up thinking of egg tempera- i mean i have the chickens and all......... i don't have the pigments or the grounds or the mullers....or all the other supplies..i don't technically know HOW to do egg tempera, although i figure....it's paint right? technically demanding stuff is apparently what i live for....remember i do porcelain work too.......
it's historical and unchanged...........takes forever........ what's not to love?
oye
i have got to be out of my mind
i may actually do this!
nice huh? what with the water colors that cost a kidney on their way here even as i type....i am about to retire them before i use them to look into egg tempera?

ok i got to use the water colors first....... then see about the egg tempera..... which is totally archival, lasts forever, is ecologically sound, and with some modification of the palette would totally fit my drawing style and the way i see light..... much better then watercolors or oils (i am not crazy about acrylics....i do like oils and i do like water colors)
maybe i will just invest in a very limited palette of pigments and a few tiny grounds and just do a couple of small egg tempera's just for a test.......
i may not like it at all
right?
(someone help convince me here cause a lot of the people doing egg tempera also do it over 23 karat gold leafing...... and i am not a rich woman)
however it will last hundreds of years........so after the book is finished i could sell the originals with a clear conscience

maybe these late night obsessions are not a good thing?

i will say this......... it was a good decision last year to come full circle for me.... over the years i had channeled this into the porcelain dolls (although they aren't toys we don't know what else to call them other then dolls) i was a bit burnt out from working in advertizing and commercial art departments.... but i think this is the right time to be drawing seriously again for me
i have learned so much over the years, without realizing it... i needed the time out from the drawing board and drafting table.
i realize that although what i have been doing isn't a super huge amount...i have been steady with this project and it's been developing in a way i think it should.
from 'just fun'.......
to 'wait i have a few of these now'!!!
through to 'i can do this better'
and now it's 'that was very good, now how about this same idea in color, or in black and white'

this current monsters in the leaves is the 4th or 5th with this idea......each one different....
a what if it was looser, or more defined......or in color.....or in black and white..
and what if this happened...
i am actually having a really good time with this and i am thinking that it shows
but now i have to redo the others
hahahahahaha
oh man........
maybe life at it's very best is really about having fun?

still the storm day 11

now first one of my companions in the studio - isn't fawnie cute? she got on my drafting chair when i stopped for a break and didn't want to get off...she was so cute i had to show you folks......

then an update on where i am at on this current illustration....getting there... it's starting to look like an engraving now. (it really does up close) and i can see things happening like the old victorian engravings.... i also am watching things develop that i didn't know were there- it's like they are waiting patiently for the pen to go over them and allow them out..it's like MAGIC!

i am waiting for my art supplies to get here as i really miss that 005 pen, plus i am excited to try that new overlay... i am planning on using watercolors on the overlay, so maybe i need to get this printed so i can overlay on the print?

it's still snowing here...but we didn't get hit as hard as bernie did down in totowa. he was up and out all night plowing. this picture was taken yesterday afternoon from the front, looking out on the street. it's still snowing now and i'll take another picture later

i did look at the duck pens this morning and we have a smallish problem with the a frame but i think it'll be ok

i am going to run low on wood by tonight, the woodstove is giving me some problems as well...last night it wouldn't get hot enough to leave it or even burn the wood....it kept going out

today i am having a bit of a problem getting it going.... btw, i hear hissing in there so most likely it's a wet wood problem ( also a 'bernie doesn't listen to me' problem- he doesn't believe in wet wood....or male menopause)

the doctor called yesterday...finally ...she repeated some of the tests and i do indeed test positive for a rare form of non classical adult onset adrenal hyperplasia. the 11b form

the gene involved is the cyp11b1 gene (aren't i just so freeken special)

the treatment is steriods and i am absolutely terrified of them, the side effects are weight gain (like i need help with that) and bone problems.. and since i am a newly menopausal person.. bone problems scare me...... not to mention the whole 'i've fallen and can't get up' thing here

if you add in the neighborly concern..... i figure you all will be reading about me with the headlines..'frozen old lady found clutching a squirming duck--the duck can not be reached for comment'

ok so the woodstove is angry and not responding......it's getting chilly in here. i am going to have to baby that stove until i can get it a bit warmer.

so off i go now..... i see a bit of flame in there and i hope it grows

da storm, da storm day 10....

my my this is just zipping by-- actually i am getting a lot done on it but there is a LOT left to do because of the size of the image area, although i am more then halfway home on this.... i'll work more of course today...

i have to start laying out the next one however and i also have to revise the storyboard.

i am thinking i really like this though. and i am also thinking that i am going to put a color overlay on it. thin washes of saturated earth tones.

i know it can also be printed that way...the black and white plate and an overlay plate of color washes......i've seen books that way

i think it would work well that way

i still really like the original drawings i did to illustrate the duck stories i keep here on the blog.....when they thought they saw polar bears and killer whales out back in the snow

now they see the monsters in the swirling leaves

in snow news.... THIS is my yard, it doesn't look like that right now....it's much worse.

bernie is of course in jersey with the fleet..... and i am not a happy camper here. he came home briefly at 4 pm and got a lot of wood in, moved the Aframe pen by the back door....and then left for work again.

his sister called me last night.... thank goodness as i was feeling really really sorry for me. Feb is a bad month for me to begin with, i think it has something to do with lack of daylight.

and for him to be gone so much is very hard on me.

now however it would appear that this storm may be over by friday, which means he will be home over the weekend. meanwhile it's just us chickens, and ducks and cats and budgies here.

i know i won't be able to dig us out though so if there is any accumulation he won't be able to get in the driveway...

i won a skein of yarn in the contest for spirit trail fiberworks, jen had dyed some extra for the yarn and fiber clubs as a contest thing and i won one of the extras!!! it's her new sunna yarn.... merino, cashmere, and silk.... i think something beaded no? it's blues and greens.... now i am not much of a green person, but i think if i put yellow silver lined beads on this i may like it a lot.....and of course since it's jen's you KNOW that the colors are dazzling.... (and they are...and truly even the green isn't bad but i just don't like green much)

i have enough to do a scarf and maybe even a hat.........(it's a fingering weight but that's ok for a hat if i do color work)

ok it's 8:28 am..... i know i'm late posting

i am most likely going to add to this later

i should get the ducks out now....... as i don't think they are going to be staying out too long....depends on the depth of the snow

and if the electric goes out.....i can't get through the basement easily....

day 9 and my eyes are crossed i SWEAR

it's snowing today

oh and raining..... and a bit of sleet thrown in for good measure.

i am doing admin stuff today, and drawing here and there.

i can't find the ira thing for bernie's roll over from his old job

and i have decided it's soup for supper tonight and heaven help anyone (glaring at bernie right now although he's at work and can't see me) who complains

it's pretty dreary out, it's pretty dreary in as well

even my budgies aren't as lively as they normally are

i still have to scan the taxes, but i got everything but that and the ira thing done that was on today's list

tomorrow's list includes snow i think.

i got an email from blick art supplies that my order shipped yesterday.... FedEx so i am positive that they will find me or find the po box---unlike UPS that never freeken finds me even with the phone number and directions......

meanwhile i wanted to post some sort of picture today.........something colorful and happy and not dreary........ so i put up one of the photo's my sister in law colleen took last may at longwood gardens..... pretty isn't it? i think we all could use a bit of spring right now..... although maybe it's coming along, as there is that endless mud out there....that is a sure indication of spring!

and i just decided that since my woodstove is being so damn cranky i am going to let it go out for a few hours, then start it up later

as i can't get draft right now....... which means it's probably as warm out as it is in here more or less.......even though it's raining

and it is warm in here

i did dishes etc, and now am about to go back to the drafting table and sit down with this drawing again for a while, it really is crossing my eyes at the moment

i got a bit more done, this part is a lot of work and very little to show as the drawing is growing imperceptibly but surely

catherine, you got a phoebe too? you should post pictures. yes ducks and chickens eat small rodents, frogs, bugs, etc... some chickens will even eat baby chicks, all of them will eat eggs given half a chance. the ducks eat their 'dud' eggs so that predators don't find them and the nests, and when i get a cracked chicken egg, i feed it to one of the ducks. people don't realize that they are omnivore, and actually require a lot of protein in their diets. that's why free range eggs are so sought after, they eat protein and the eggs taste it.

ok last night i walked down our snow covered hill ( we are at the bottom actually of a small mountain) to walk back up with bernie. it was over my knees....(ok that doesn't take much)

he yelled at me the entire time we were walking back. now it's 5am and he is going to walk back down to get his truck........ we are 'discussing' that ............

i am surprised you all can't hear it....... we had a small 'snow event' that the local weather people apparently were unawares and he couldn't get up the hill to our house

we are scheduled for another one tonight and a major one tomorrow.......

meanwhile i worry

so today the two biggest worries are.....ducks on ice and wood in the house

i am going to have to yank the entire emergency wood pile into the house

now he's leaving and WALKING down the hill, it's icy out and i worry as there aren't any street lights or sidewalks

he promised to call the second he got to the coach he's driving. and then i am going to worry until he gets to work and calls me,

he didn't get in the house until 10 pm so i didn't eat supper (too late for me) he did

OK he just called he's down at the coach.....now i got to worry until he's down to totowa...

he can't take the emergency bag with him.......he does have one at work but not his travel one, as he is always in a different unit from work (no time to fix his own truck) so he's stuck good if he gets stuck-he tells me (and i do believe this) he would forget it in one of the units and then wouldn't have it anyway.

normally i love winter, and i love snow....... not this winter... every single snow event he's down with the fleet and i am worried about him........and i am up here with not enough wood and i am worried about me!

and the snow shovel we got.......is not a push type one....... i found this out with all the snow

btw, i am having nightmares....last nights was that i was being chased by a bear and couldn't find my knitting.... (what can i say, the ducks and i have similar fears)

is it day 8 already?

well i decided to continue and then go back later when i get the 005 pens to do the smaller pen work so here are today's updates (today being monday....waiting for yet another storm)
ok here are some of the details on the left, and on the right then of course the overall. now you are sort of seeing the extreme close up that i work at. i am working off of real leaves, stuff that i found laying around outside.
i wish i could find some of the leaves that i had pressed. because these leaves are all curled up, which doesn't make things easier for me. the sort of yellowish area is the cover sheet that i use to keep the surface clean from the oils in my hands. now the next one is the other side and leaf details, part of the duck's neck too. and of course the cover sheet, but i wish i had the 005 micron pen, i don't' like being held up..... especially with a piece that is as labor intensive as this one. since i also ordered that overlay material, i am going to test some of these drawings with a color overlay.
i would be really interested in see colored washes over them.
now on one hand, i am anxious to get this going, and on the other doing this is a bit meditative- but sometimes getting to sit down takes discipline. (also a strong back,... right now my back is killing me from lifting ponds to dump)
so now here is the overall
as you see it needs a lot more work, but it's coming along. if you notice it is growing from the bottom up mostly, (although i am working all around the drawing but concentrating on growing it from the bottom)
ok so what do you folks all think so far????
(i think i need more darker areas)

now i am looking out the window and it looks like it's going to cut lose storming at any second..... i better get the last pair of pants in off the outside line
and i better be thinking of the ducks coming in shortly

i called bernie to see if he's coming home, cause if he is-then i need to make supper, but if he isn't, i'll just have leftovers (or if the chickens give me eggies......rice pudding again)
i just put a log on the fire, it's been smoking a LOT lately which isn't normal for a soapstone stove this new, i think the secondary combustion pipes need to be cleaned. anyway all this is some of the day to day stuff i keep forgetting to do,............oye
and i need to scan and send the tax stuff to tim.
oye
and do bernie's ira roll over thingie
double oye
ok off i go........you guys will read this in the am..... and i will catch up with you most likely tomorrow
ok phoebe the might hunter, killed and ate a small rodent!!!
i am so proud of her
of course she needed a bath after, cause she was covered with entrails...... she ate the head and part of the entrails......
what a great duck she is

and on the 7th day.....we rested sorta

i didn't get any drawing in today (which is sunday) as i could not get a 005 pen in town, so i ordered it from blick (along with a few other things...... ahem, we won't discuss in mixed company...or admit to until the bill comes ok???)
btw, i been sorta answering all you alls comments in the comment section.
just in case you missed it

now, i filled the duck pond last night, and three insane ducks jumped in one by one this morning... AND BROKE THE ICE.......then took baths amidst the ice floats, WHILE shaking with the cold...... and then continued to take baths. if i took them out they RAN back

(gee momma duck, trying for pneumonia again? and making me pay another mortgage payment to the DUCK VET?)

so we've been sorta just hanging out, doing laundry...... eating, stoking the stove... laughing at the cats and parakeets.
i did put that blick order in...... HUGE gulp before i did it, then i had a free shipping code and a discount sale code soooooooooooooo my order was a LOT cheaper then i expected, but it's still pretty bad money wise...... at least for right now, but the micron pens, watercolors, papers, and overlay is winging it's way to me......... i actually got the really GOOD watercolors for about the price of the student grade ones.... amazing huh? i went with the MGraham, and the maimeiblu, and i forgot a palette.......... and a pencil sharpener.....damn

i have decided that my painting skills are a tad rusty.......and i need to spiffy them up more
and as i suppose until i get that 005 micron pen i am not going to do a whole lot on that drawing........ i may as well spiffy up on the painting---THAT is my excuse and i am sure as hell sticking to it

bernie hung some of the laundry out for me, and i am hanging dainties and unmentionables in the house by the woodstove.. we are also hoping that he doesn't have to stay over at work tomorrow.
but in case, we have a ton of wood in the house

we didn't get most of the errands done this weekend........so we'll see if maybe i can get some done during the week. and i have yet to start my seeds, so i better get seed mix

i am sitting here watch mrs fezziwig chew on the bark of the apple branches that we are using for perches......she loves it so much, AND big news.....the budgies finally are really learning to fly...i am thrilled-maybe we should have gotten them the super duper cage?..but i don't think it would fit in the studio at all
i also chopped carrots, green beans, parsley and broccoli for them, it's in their treat cup but they didn't realize i put it there yet.......as i did it while they were sleeping.

we woke up this morning to the sounds of an accident right in front of the house.......someone hit a pole..... HARD...the pole right in front of our bedroom window, and it's all splintered and shattered now....... apparently prior to hitting the pole, this same car had gone up on the across the street neighbors lawn.. then backed out and come up to take out that pole in the front...
the car was flat bedded away.
and here we thought we were going to sleep in! even the cats got up

PS: kim, i hope to can more this year, depending on the garden, i need to put up dried beans now, and cranberry orange sauce.......and i am hoping to can chicken breast but haven't gotten enough yet....last time i got the bulk i breaded it all, i need to get the two boxes so i have enough to can

jen? you still with me?

i kinda feel like now i know everyone (and i talk to susan and mo, and sandie by email) so i sort of feel like we are having coffee..... breath heavy or comment or something ok so i know you all are still here????
catherine, 6 kitties?............you should get that sale on cat litter then, i got 25 bags for 1.49 a bag........i need 25 more

day 6..... are you all tired of me yet???

ok i am typing this saturday as i am certain i won't be getting up early tomorrow (sunday), i intend on sleeping in. i also intend on eggs for breakfast so someone needs to speak to those chickens.

my toe is better thankfully, i got a bandaide on it- it's an antibiotic bandaide (who knew that there was such a thing! but i am glad we have them)

i have to get another fine point micro pen, two so far have bit the dust nib wise (the tips just fell apart)- i don't like to switch mediums mid project so i will just pick up a few of the fine nibs..... next one is being done in rapidograph. i have two sets of them, one from school and one i just picked up recently, --- i am thinking of getting a third set as the micro pens don't have the range of tips i like.

as you can see from this fast shoot of the illustration up to this point, i am beginning to develop the lights and darks in the ducks. (have i said how MUCH i love the digital camera) what i hope happens is that they sit firmly in their little world on that paper, but look three dimensional and alive compared to the background-i also hope that THEY are the first thing you see, only to draw in and see all the tiny little things going on in the shadows. so far it looks like it is working, while at the same time giving you enough atmosphere.
i may have to redo the other drawings that are already done, even the black and white ones i loved and still love...


***does this duck look familiar??? look again??- yup one of the models......she's sooooooo glamourous isn't she??? this is one of the photo's i worked off for this drawing, i don't know if i got the lines all perfectly acurate but i got the essence i think***

i am thinking of investing in THESE watercolors, they are a husband and wife team. he used to live the next town over from where i grew up........and well they are artist made for artists......

i want about 12 colors..... anyone interested in a vintage kidney? low mileage, original condition??? cause it's going to cost that much---------------!!!!!!!!
i want to get the most lightfast, which is novel for a commercial artist.....as normally we work for print and don't really care if it lasts for centuries. ( and who would we be kidding, who really would CARE about what we do after the job is sold and printed?)
however i started to think, as i am sort of straddling the fence between commercial and fine art..... maybe if i do get this printed, i should still sell off the originals eventually... and if i do that, i owe it to the eventual owner to use stuff that at least will last their lifetime, if not their kids. so the search for pigment is on.
i been researching while soaking my toe in peach scented epson salts....... and i am thinking that MGraham line is the way to go- although i most likely will sample daniel smith, and the marimeri blu lines as well

i am settling on two yellows, one warm, one cool.... two blues, one red blue, one green blue.....
a magenta red and an orange red
then i am going to fill in with some of the earth tones, burnt umber, raw or burnt sienna, paynes gray, lamp black..... and most likely two convenience greens ( that means i could mix them myself but in the interest of laziness won't)

now i have to tell you guys, i have a love/hate thing with art supplies, i love thinking about what i need and i love having interesting new supplies to play with, but i HATE shopping for them. really. hate. shopping. *** although it isn't as bad as it used to be***
and a LOT has changed since i went to art school and since i was working as a graphic designer/art director. both in the fine art end and the commercial end of supplies
so i have to research everything again.
a lot of the natural pigments aren't around anymore, either due to supply problems, or permanence issues

and there are new options that need to be considered.....some colors just grab me by the throat, they are hot magenta's and super saturated reds and yellowish reds and oranges, and deep violets. I WANT THEM.....but i know i can't have or even use them all......sniff.... i really want them. but they won't work with what i am doing RIGHT NOW...... (hahahaha maybe later with a project designed for them??? but they cost a fortune too about 15.00 a tube.....)

btw, while i am thinking of it, flicka, did you like that pantry book? i loved it and begged her to write one about summer kitchens..... i don't think her publishers got her the exposure she deserved for that book as it truly is unique and definitely needed a wider audience. (at one point i practically stalked her, i am sure it unsettled her, but i really really LIKE that book)

oh and daniel, if you notice, i can't draw a straight line....... not without a ruler.
so just start adding to your stick figures....it couldn't hurt

now in actuality i am typing this in bits and peices throughout the day saturday, even though it's going to post tomorrow AM, bernie is home and i don't get a lot done on the drawing board etc.
he cleaned the spark arrester for the woodstove chimeny, and i put the ducks out..... i did some dainties and he's threw a few loads in the wash for me. we are going to see about that cheap cat litter, as some issues also came up that made us have to put off a lot of our errands.
meanwhile i am catching a bit here while bernie brings in a couple loads of wood so i don't have to, just in case he's got to stay over monday in jersey with the fleet.

i have all sorts of paperwork type stuff to do this weekend, finanacial mostly, tax stuff, ira stuff... etc, i am also hoping in between to get some definative list together for the watercolors, and maybe even fabiano papers....... i will take a HUGE gulp before i push the 'pay' buttons
oye
i may even have to close my eyes........this book so better fly.....i swear

day 5- we're gonna be here a while...

now this is an oak leaf......... i am using it as reference, some unexpected stuff happened when i started to draw it in....... a FACE popped up under it! hahahaha. i like to draw off live (this was alive) as much as possible, as i know i am really really good with live models and such. (seriously, when i was in art school all my instructors told me so)

i got into cleaning in the studio a tiny bit, as i was upset. after i cleaned the small drafting/craft table behind my working drafting table i had a couple of visitors......... hahahaha first off DA BOY.......he was trying to appear nonchalant but really he wasn't completely awake and wanted his mommy.........

then fawn came over later and got up there so she could tap my back and gaze at the back of my head willing me to turn around and play with her..... these cats have magical powers you know.

now yesterday (which was thursday as i am typing this friday evening....cause we got errands tomorrow) i gave the ducks baths....and this morning i had three little white ducks again......and one semi white drake. i carried the girls out as there was a hawk wheeling and crying up above. they didn't mind, and i kissed the backs of their heads and told them how much i loved them on the way out.

ok now the latest progress photo, i didn't get a lot done as i had to dig a splinter out of my toe! i knew i stepped on something yesterday morning (thursday) but didn't realize that it was still in there... tiny but there. my toe was all swollen and hurt like hell..... took a while, as first i soaked it in peach scented epson salts....(don't ask, but now my toes smell like peaches instead of, well......feet!) and then i had to dig at it with the tweezers for a while....it was a tiny teeny splinter... but damn it hurt

and stuffs came out of it

ok donald, you still with me??? is everyone else still with me???

day 4

(actually this happened yesterday cause i have to do it first to be able to show you all) i am laying in more of the background, and trying to develop the other ducks, i can't find the reference picture i was referring to for lillianna (at the top) so i have to bring my drawing to the computer screen and draw off that -----this part is now pretty slow... i am filling in the gaps in the background

i am liking how it appears to swirl around with the darks and lights, i even like the heavy darks at the bottom center, as to my eye it is giving it weight and a base, or some gravity, which makes sense to my eye.

i like how the leaf forms sort of sweep into the curves of the ducks, and i am thinking that the dark and light balance is good. i am thinking that momma at the bottom pops at you. what do you all think?

you know, this whole take a digital picture really really has helped my work, as i can see fast how it's going to look printed, and also i can step back and see the actual bones of it.

the other cool thing is i can flop an image.....which is FANTASTIC for seeing what i've done in a fresh way, plus i can see area's that could be a problem, like momma's beak right now, i have to extend that dark area in front of her beak down quite a bit for it to work right, and most likely also over so the end of the dark is sort of UNDERNEATH her head and neck, i wouldn't have noticed it if i hadn't flopped the image (we used to use mirrors, and look at the work in a mirror) i am also thinking that it is 'atmosphery' (is that a word?) it's sort of dark and shadowy which is a good way to show you fear, right? aren't we afraid of what we can't quite see? of the unknown? i also like the fact that the monsters don't really have a lot of depth, because these are unfounded but really immediate fears for the ducks--- now this all came out, i didn't totally decide this ahead of time.. it sort of developed as the drawing did and i liked it so i pushed it that way. (and if my art school instructors ever hear this they most likely will either drop dead, or roll in their graves... cause this is called 'how not to do a commercial illustration')

now, yesterday at one point i was just bored with dots, and took a bit of a break- but that could have been because i was transferring the baby budgies to the new cage......which is like us living in a 10,000. square foot house...........they were lost for a while....
ok quick aside, budgie baby update: i rigged the two cages sort of together with the doors open......so that they could get into the new cage, and yet not get loose in the studio.

i put their favorite toys in the new one.......... and their food bowl in the new cage on the door...mrs fezziwig (the little piglet) went in first.......and started to eat, which naturally got captain cuttle interested, he was hanging upside down in the old cage with his head in the food dish of the NEW cage....pigging out......he finally went in-------------then they sat there like budgie statues........i played budgie videos for them to chirp to, which they did

i went about my business and while i was drawing in the late afternoon, they decided that the new cage wouldn't EAT budgies and started to chirp, then play, then pig out on the huge spray of millet.....(they ate the WHOLE THING) then preen etc

so i guess they are now mostly adjusted, they won't go down to the bottom of their cage, but that's ok for now. they will eventually, and i am in no hurry for them to, until i get a good seed catcher down around there and put some small tree branches in the center. meanwhile they have two good apple branches and a comfy perch, grape root perch, swing......wooden tree toys...---in other words a very comfortable budgie home.

ok back to the drawing board, i am remembering to take enough breaks, actually this type of illustration makes you, as your eyes start to swim. i need to get back to the art supply store, i need more of the disposable technical pens, especially the finest point(nib)

i could use some stuff that acts like treated acetate, which is a clear overlay, that you can draw and paint on, the mediums don't crawl or flake off, this new sheet is archival and doesn't get funny with age like the acetate does, so i want some for overlays

*** this picture has a protector sheet over it so the oils in my hand won't dirty the surface, you can also see the color charts i made for the inktense i use, and the storyboard***

i am also wondering if instead of watercolor i should go with pointillism for the color work? that would also be something i would work out on the clear overlay. i am no seurat and i don't really LIKE doing the pointillism for color work but it would work with the black and whites for this.... or i could try color washes over the ink, but do them on the overlay, they would have to be color separated at the printer anyway so that may work.

right now the point is to do a body of work, have fun, experiment a bit, limber up my hand/eye... and see how far i can push the envelope.

see how exciting i can make the images, or how interesting and different.

and try to play with how an audience (so to speak, a person who is looking at the drawings) sees the story.

now when i first learned about all this, it overwhelmed me, it took me time to grow around it.

but it's pretty cool now. now if only i could get the ducks to cooperate when i need to take a picture of them doing something duck like but from a weird angle.....like looking UP at them......that isn't easy you know....their legs are only about 3'' high.

now i didn't get as much done yesterday as i would have liked, as i had to do dishes, clean the kitchen a bit, bring in wood, bath the ducks and sweep the studio floor...plus i cleaned off my little white workbench

and i am making a sort of turkey thing for supper. it's cubed turkey left over from the 25# that i roasted in november and froze some, plus made broth and canned some... i make a sorta cream of turkey sauce and have mixed veggis in it with cheddar and the turkey and serve it over rice or something (baked potatoes are good too) tonight it will be over leftover rice

it's fast and bernie may be late..(ok tonight is going to be actually LAST night cause this will post tomorrow..) OH and i put together this post, and the pictures and all --- but i still didn't get the last of the laundry out of the washer as i can't reach it! so my dainties... (hahahaha think of cow dainties..... hahahahah) are still waiting for their turn in the suds, maybe i should have put them in with the ducks?

ps: catherine, there is a link to my dolls up at the top of my blog, it says 'gallery of my work'

someone posted them online a while ago, maybe....... 3 years ago apparently to a list or something i never did find out what list though

day three

here i've flipped the drawing and am starting to work at the top.. more of that will happen today i think, as the spotty-ness of the overall drawing is now really bothering me. i am really liking that atmosphere at the bottom and i am anxious to see it all over now. this is starting to get really interesting.
i am also thinking if this one doesn't make it to the book, i am going to do note cards....it's got a lot going on, but because of the sharp contrast in executing the ducks loosely as opposed to the background, i think it will be fine..... your eye will first see the ducks......then move around and discover the background.
i am now sorry i started posting this series as it would be much better to have you all see it as a whole further down the road... when the magic actually happens
but it's started already

just a bit more of the bottom background developed, i had started to doodle dot at the sides and they suggested eyes....so i put them in, and i will doodle dot them around like the bottom, where you will see them if you are looking for them (although i think that isn't going to be too hard, but it won't be the FIRST thing you see)



now i don't think i can draw monsters, so these monsters are just pretty tame, i should put a hawk in as for birds a lot of times, danger does so come from the skies, but we'll see.....there is a suggestion of a talon at the top of the drawing..... that's fearful for a duck.
i started to lay in some shading for the second duck (phoebe) which also will get more developed as time goes on. it's getting so i can't wait for first light to work on this. which is ALWAYS a good sign.
then if i can't let it go when i am finished, i know it's really really good.
and i may just start another one right away, although i know i really should do a color one next, and alternate. (i am getting back into the groove of working every day again, and getting lost at the drafting table)

now i have to tell you folks, since there are at least 9 of you all, first off thank you again. i really did think i was babbling to the air.

and second of all since it's just us sitting around with coffee........ for years i felt so much conflict with this talent.


on the one hand i knew i had some talent. ( at times even i couldn't miss that fact) but i thought that i was not quite as good as i needed to be. even with my dolls....i kept my nose to the grindstone and worked my ass off trying to be better and to be able to match the pictures in my head.... yes it did pay off. but so did taking a huge break in drawing!


my idiot brother once told me that even though i wasn't actively working, i had an artist's eye, and IT never stopped looking and learning. i hate to say it but boy was he right!
i am light years better now then i was even 5 years ago.
i remember in art school my instructors used to tell me 'that painting is more advanced then you are' now i understand......!
(only what? 35 years later....who said i took my sweet ass time?)


the other thing i am learning, slowly, is that when i am enjoying it......you folks will too
the more fun i have, the more intense the reaction from other people looking at whatever i've just finished
i also realized that under it all, under the drawings, the sculpting of the dolls (i use the d word loosely here as they aren't toys) is a base of story telling.


i truly was born to be a story teller........ i tell stories of the ducks.....now i draw stories of the ducks
i tell stories in words and pictures and sometimes in porcelain and fabrics...
i suppose abstract art isn't for me.... although now i can appreciate composition, design, and color in it...but for me...telling the story is the important thing


that and craftsman ship
the perfect and the exquisitely executed object is adjunct to the story. it shows respect for the way the story is being told
does that make sense to you......it does to me but i may not be writing it correctly.
maybe it is a pride in my work thing?
i still feel guilty about not working for money right now
and at times still question if i have enough talent to justify what i do........
but right now i am just doing what i do....and i am hoping you all like it a bit

this is the corner behind me as i work....we so need to whitewash those walls.. my drafting table is DIRECTLY on the left..you can see one of the two drafting table lights that are in it.. yup it's that close quarters there...and last night bernie put the antique copper washtub with the kindleing in there as well...i have to wiggle by it to get to the drafting table.....
have i mentioned that i don't wiggle like i used to?

oye

work in progress day 2

i roughed in more of the ducks and started with the background, which is pretty free and fun for me in a way. it does hurt my wrists and hands as well as cramps my shoulder but i am enjoying it what is happening in the background is a huge surprise to me as it pops up
i don't know what is going to be going in there until i start with the dots

and i let the dots suggest what it is going to be ...this is going to take a while.

here is a bit further along, with the other ducks inked in, i am working mostly from top to bottom and a bit all around, shading is going to start on the bottom duck soon...... i still am liking how this looks, it's leaving room for leaves and monsters, and i am thinking of dropping the type in at the top....... (adding the saying) --- i have to say i really am liking what i'm seeing with the reproduction of these drawings on the screen, i think that they will look just as good in print. if not better

here the ducks are mostly inked in, at least their outlines and general features, it's following the drawing but still pretty loose. i am thinking i like the ducks drawn losely and the backgrounds soft.....

as you can see, momma duck's fluffy butt is getting developed and i am starting on leaves and background.

i am so hoping that this illustration works well as i would hate to have to do it over.

i am having some problems with blogger this morning, this put this post out as if it was the beginning of february, so i had to adjust it

the other thing that happened is that the budgies new cage came yesterday, so bernie put it together...it's big enough for me or bernie or both to get inside it (but he wouldn't be able to stand UP inside...i almost can!) it is taller then my chin! the budgies are going to be very lost in there when they eventually make the move

but he didn't get the laundry out of the washer for me ( i can't reach down into it, i'm too short) or as i realized this morning, he didn't feed the chickens either.

if the day looks good today i may clean pens and crates.....we'll see

the woodstove chimney needs to be cleaned..... more specifically the spark arrester.

i am having terrible draft issues at the moment, and much as i am going to worry, i need it to go out overnight friday/saturday so that bernie can clean the spark arrester.

i finally got my anniversary card and Vday card from bernie...he admitted that they'd been kicking around in a medical coach for the entire time........he had to try and remember WHICH medical coach they were in......so i got them yesterday...... he did good on the cards though.

there is a sale on cat litter at shoprite, 1.49 per 20# bag........i want 30 bags, that should last the year (and at that price) ......we've been doing that for about 3 years now....it does help to always have fresh litter on hand.

thank you all so much- and work in progress

really i didn't think there was anyone much out there. i thought i was babbling to the air.
i guess it is also febuary, i don't get much sleep now, and there isn't enough light anywhere it would seem

and i also realized i tend to get repetitive when my brain is elsewhere

like worried about bernie or into some project

drawing, painting, sculpting etc, do that more to me & the effects last longer, maybe that's why i never drank or did drugs? i just need to do something like that and i am pretty oblivious to everything including what time it is or day it is

i thought you folks would like to see how i start those drawings, in this case a black and white. i use a black photographic crepe tape as a border, and i do that on almost all my blk/wht illustrations

i should most likely do a different border for different projects but for now that's what i do. i try and use decent supplies now, although i have been known to doodle on napkins, this is a strathmore smooth finish bristol. i also use vellum and plate for stuff. i think the smooth finish is a good compromise. i am using rapidographs as well as sakura pigma micron pens. just over the top you can see the first rough story board. i am referring to that. it's not any roughs really, as that one is just titles either of the blog post stories or of highlights that i want to remember and share through this project

now this is a bit of a wide shot of the top of my drafting table, on the left is my beginning surface, with the rough storyboard over, and a printed out picture of one of the ducks (it's momma duck from the other night) as a reference for where, how large, etc i want them in there. on the far right, being held with that black thing (it's a wreath hanger i am going to rig to hold paint brushes and my rags) is a roughly drawn idea of the baby ducklings in the sink, it won't stay anywhere near like that, i was just thinking a straight overhead would be interesting so that's sitting. you also see my triangles for getting straight corners on the drawing (that's for crop marks *crops* for the printer)and pieces of blue tape all over to hold the papers down. i work almost vertical so i have to secure everything

off to the side of me is a rolling cart with paints, pens, brushes, etc.......coffee......

and i need to figure another brush washing thing as thaddeaus likes to drink my paint water! damn cat, he's going to make me OLD. i have a craft brush wash thingie with a cover but i don't like it for this- it's ok for craft acylics i think though. it's hard to clean.

this is the end of the studio i used to make dolls in. ( that workbench is all broken up now, and the supplies are scattered somewhat. i want to make dolls again in the future, and i am so hoping i don't have to start entirely from scratch with equipment and supplies.)

my studio has three walls of windows, good for light- and i didn't feel claustrophobic in here, bad for heating and cooling........ and then there is that fishbowl thing.

i am still working on the studio....... i need to white wash the wood paneling (cheapo plywood paneling, nothing spectacular)

here is the next step, the ducks are blocked in...... just rough erasable images. i should do layouts and comps in pencil first (my teachers from art school will all be having heart failure seeing me do this and yes it is a TERRIBLE habit to be in-don't do it this way, but it's supposed to be a fun project for me and this is more fun)

what isn't here and will be developed as i go is the background, which in this case is going to be suggestions of leaves and monsters, i hope. (there is that whole reason to do comprehensive drawings *comps* and layouts) but i am either lazy or spontaneous whichever sounds better.

i played with placement and i really liked this, i like the angles, i like the big fluffy duck butt in your face so to speak (that's momma duck, phoebe and lillianna in ascending order) i am using a picture of momma duck when she was fluffing her wings out after a bath, i liked how unsettled she looks there.

next i start to ink in those outlines.....sorta, more or less.... i am sort of careful doing it.... kinda.. now of course if it was watercolor..... i am a bit ahem....... more free with the actual contours of the images......(ok so i sorta just slap paint around, and then try and make it look ok)

now you all know in boring detail how i start and what i start with.