it was a cold and sunny day

well i got to town for bloodwork finally

STARVING i might add
only to be told.....'no, you din't have to come fasting'

HUH?

NOW i am told?

i was starving, and i didn't take my lyme meds

oye

i have to go back again too cause i got feed store AGAIN, postoffice AGAIN, mortgage and bank.....

meanwhile
i am trying to think up a brilliant idea to keep the duckies warm in this below freezing weather out in their pens
my idea?
rice bags?
draft proof little rigged houses build out of saw horses?
HAY?

wool sweaters and winter boots?

don't think i wasn't considering sweaters and boots for them
i just may be able to get the girls into them
but not falstaff

now i got a new goosedown jacket.....it comes to about my knee
it is a bit ............ahem............. large for me
ha
ok so it is about 4 sizes too big for me
hey it's MAGENTA
i love magenta

that's the price you sometimes gotta pay no?
it was only $50.00 reduced from 135. so WHAT they only had two sizes left
hey it's WARM
seriously it is really warm

besides i got room under there for extra clothing...to conceal duckies or doggies or whatever else

doesn't matter to me that i look like 'violet' from willy wonka's chocolate factory.....when she blowes up into a blueberry
only in my case..... a magenta berry

who cares
i'm WARM
hahahahaha
bernie is mortified
he doesn't want me wearing that to town
ha
guess what i did today?

yup wore it to town

like i said...i was WARM

and i think that it being that big also helped trap warm air and kept me warmer.....
no?

that is my story

vi

ps i blew up my ergonomic keyboard.......this straight standard one iskilling me

full moon in january

on the new fallen snow
it's so bright out!
1:30 am up with the stove and it is so very wonderful out
so bright
i wonder what the long ago people did this time of year when the snows lay deep on the land

where the men of the tribes grateful to the woman for the gathering and drying they did all summer?

and in the teepees and long houses, did they stay warm?
i know that stories were told
what other entertainment would there have been?
( ok well there was THAT.........but seriously.....all them PEOPLE....?)

it got down to 67 in the studio, which is a bit low for me letting the stove burn down
i don't usually like it below 74 in here so that the rest of the house stays above freezing......
the fire looks brisk however
so i shouldn't be up too long i hope
it's chilly


in other news
i spilt water on my ergonomic keyboard
i am trying to type on a regular straight keyboard
and it's not working well
plus it is really hurting my hands
the typos are atrocious which you all can't see.....i keep running spell check

i priced new ones......60.00
that isn't going to happen any time soon

oh man......

my friend carol is going to try her freecycle..... ours never has anything good on it so we'll hope

yesterday...... my best friend thea came to see me.....
she showed me that pumpernickel bagel.......
hahahahaa
and song sung blue....which she sang to me over and over until i 'got it'

i am still singing it
and with a smile as i do realize that she is still being my friend

i was a bit depressed
and while stuff is still getting to me
i also realize that she is still around
trying to make me smile

Me and you are subject to the blues now and then

we used to talk about that
i always said to her
'our generation came between the 60's idealism, and the 80's hedenism....we are sort of a lost generation....with no clearly defined anything'

and we used to then laugh....cause it was true
reflected in the music of the times.....
*** remember the beegees? lonely days?
see what i mean?
stuff like that

i realized something else
laughter has always been a big part of my friendships
i just love hearing people's deep from the gut laughter
and boy can my friends laugh......

vi

BF4E***

***best friends forever

my best friend died april 15, 1996

she was one of the most alive people i have ever met, i still mourn, and i still miss her laughter.

this past year was a year of losses
i lost many many friends to death, to life changes and to their season in my life, and mine in theirs was over.

Last night i was blessed to have a visit from my best friend

she came in response to me being a bit depressed

her message "song sung blue'
hahaha
she sang the entire song to me
until i laughed!
then showed me a pumpernickle bagel, which is a private joke between us......

she used to tell me ' i have to come to your house to eat jewish'

hahahahaha
since she was jewish and i am italian...........

even now while i type this i have a smile on my face thinking of her coming to cheer me up.
even death couldn't stop her

i love you thea........
and i miss you so much


vi

again a whole nights sleep!

bernie stoked the stove and banked it for the night last night
he's getting better at it
i got up at 4:30 and i am watching it get hot now
i think it will be ok for a while

sleeping all through the night is great
but i understand that this week we will be going down to single digits
so sleeping all night won't happen during the extreme cold

i am waiting for a power cord to come from systemax, so i can put this new tower on
and the dsl from verizon is the 20th
i don't know why so long
i got an evasive answer from them
they also seem to think i already have dsl
hahahahahah
i have super slow and totally inefficent dialup
26,4 bps
oh yeah
so who's been paying for this 'dsl' for me?

in duckie news
we went to the day pen finally yesterday
for a while
i let them out a few times to graze or whatever their little feathered hearts could desire
phoebe grazed and dug at the roots of the apple tree.....she's finding something to munch on there
the others ate snow and talked to falstaff
and then stood there on one foot and LOOKED at me

i suppose i did look a sight.......
magenta goosedown coat that is at least 3 sizes too big
red varigated wool balaclava
magenta, orange and yellow color knit wool hat
yup a sight

it was either that.......or they were wondering WHY i froze their little world out like this.....
they WERE perfectly happy with the little blue wading pool
and the green grass and dappled sunlight under the apple trees
and now i have apparently taken that away from them

oh my
to ducks........i am a GOD............

vi
ps: they all desperately need a bath but not until either the weather warms up
or
we can keep them inside for two days
it's COLD out there

operating systems

my new little powerhouse tower is not even a week old and i am thinking
linux

there are a few questions i have

could linux run this 64 bit system?
would i be able to interface my older apps?

are there enough apps for linux that i can go forward

i am pretty annoyed with microsoft

i mean......i realize they answer to shareholders
BUT
stability and capability are pretty important to most people
the less techie you are
the MORE important stability and capability become.....no?

and i am so pissed off that yesterday, in my little computers trial run
i couldn't shut it down
THEN i could NOT wake it up

you have no idea how annoyed that got me

the cat's learned an entirely new vocabulary...................
good thing they can't repeat it

meanwhile
i can recommend systemax
i like this machine
i like the customer service even better
i had a problem with the shipped power cord not fully going into the socket
it was half way out and jiggly

i called systemax tech support and after a VERY helpful person who spoke ENGLISH ( and is in ohio!) helped me determine that indeed it WAS a problem
( we used my old power cord off my old dell tower) he assured me that they would ship me a new one, due to arrive tuesday

no fuss
no hassel
and took about 7 minutes

all in all our polite chatting about the new computer and the cold weather took longer then the troubleshooting of the power cord

HUH?

an AMERICAN company with.......................... OH MY.............

actual customer SERVICE???????????????????????????

yup
just like DELL used to be

all american
all the time
and polite

i love systemax
and if you folks are looking for a new computer
check them out

vi
who has to go to town no matter what today
the postmaster called me....i got packages!!!!!!!!!
it'll be my own personal christmas!

i am not impressed with vista

first let me tell you
i had a rough night
and an even rougher morning
sooooooo
i didn't get in gear until this afternoon
i also didn't get to town

but this afternoon
i got a little energy and cleared off part of my computer table.......
i evicted a few spiders
a ton of dust mites
and i am resonably sure i did find amelia earharts goggles at least
and i suspect that the LARGE pile could be hiding a hippo.....or two

i got the tower up next to my monitor

first issue
the power cord didn't fit in the outlet on the back of the computer
i called systemax and they told me to use the old dell cord to test it

the dell cord worked so they are ups'ing me a new power cord....i will get it tuesday!

i got it powered up
i poked around a bit
couldn't find a shut down
found the 'power down/sleep' button
it powered down
great
i want to shut it off so i can use my power cord and go online
nope
it wouldn't shut down

ok
let me wake it up and ASK IT
it wouldn't wake up

i hate vista

i used it for 1/2 hour and i hate it

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

oye

meanwhile
i am knitting another hat
as that was all i had the energy for today

mostly

oye

vi

i slept ALL night

*** I have moderated comments due to spamming, i am so sorry, but it will just take me a bit to allow comment posts

i can't believe it
no stoking the stove!
it was pretty warm out though all things concidered
so bernie did it this morning

meanwhile, the new computer is here
it's warming up to the house temps

we went to get it out at ups
and we unpacked it last night

bernie was upset because at first he said to me.......'where are all the cables?'

when this dell came 9 years ago........there were a ton of cables
monitor, speaker, tower, modum,
plus the surge protector, printer, scanner, usb hub, firewire...........

i reminded him that all those cables were STILL HERE

so this tower came with a power cable and that's it

i am going to start to work on this move shortly

i don't want to take this computer off line until i am reasonably sure that one is ok and up as if i need anything, i will need to use this one to access the net


today is busy busy, in town as well as here
i am hoping that the ice out back is mostly gone
as yesterday i actually couldn't bring those poor duckies out
they slipped and slide on the ice
watching them fall all over was actually painful
and i couldn't pick them up as they were afraid that i would fall on them
( they remember that whole duck mud incident..........well hell.......... so do I!)

i finally got them into falstaff's day pen
well...........
two of them
phoebe and cleo went into the day pen and helped themselves to falstaff's food
lilliana went sliding around on the ice
she would not come near me for fear of being a duckie pancake
( and rightly so......it was SLICK out there)
finally she came in.......so i put her in the pen with the other
poor falstaff
he had to wait another hour for them to come in so he could go out

then i left him out a bit later
he was more then ready to come in at 5

i need more temporary pens i think

in other bird news
we definately gots 4 roosters

sooooooo they have to go
now would be a good time
they aren't big at all though

i have three hens which is just want i wanted

i have space for three hens
i think

again......... another pen would be a good idea

oye

so wish me luck today between going to town fasting for blood work then running around with errands and duckies

oh and the pork fillets with peach sauce......... very nice with rice and veggie pilaf on the side
tonight
i think is breaded chicken in the oven

and broccoli......no?
maybe baked yukon gold potatoes?

see how much energy i have left later

we are pleased to announce the arrival

of my brandy new computer

it is resting (and warming up) in it's box in the living room

bernie got home and we ran out to ups to pick it up

according to jim, i am not to touch it until it is warmed up due to condensation

sniff

sooooooooooooo

tomorrow
tomorrow
it's only a DAY AWAY.........................

oh and i got the new pink and grays hat done ......it's blocking

vi
who may not SLEEP tonight

NEWS FLASH: ups holds computer hostage.....

yup
apparently ups can't find us
never mind that LAST week they found us...................
they could NOT find us today
must have been the rain and ice

must have obscured the entire MOUNTAIN

but i'm not bitter..............

ok so first thing in the morning i gotta go to town
i should go to the lab fasting first
then to ups
then the doctor and then the bookstore
as i need my blood work report from the lyme tests
and a book that i got waiting on me at the bookstore ( hats on! is waiting waiting waiting)

i finished the gray and pink hat
i got it blocking but i am not sure i like it
we'll see
i can't seem to replicate my favorite black and gray hat
as much as i try
damn

now this computer thing has me in a funk.........

oh and the icy thing
forget it
even the ducks hung it up
they slide all over the place......poor babies
so i put them in falstaff's pen and they all took turns

i hope tomorroe will be more normal

ok that is my news

i wish i could go and get my computer
sniff
but i can't
so tomorrow

oh and for supper tonight is pork fillets with peach sauce
mmmmm

to town to town......

for inspection on my van
to the post office
( i got goodies waiting there)
and maybe to the craft store
depends on how i feel
i could use red wool
and some navy and light blue
for the next hat set i have to make

we are to get snow this afternoon
i informed the duckies
who decided................. since the ground will be covered for a while
they would take full grazing advantage
needless to say it took an hour to walk to the duck pen

oye

duckies!

in computer news (from UPS website!~)

woohoo it's getting closer!

Your package is on time with a scheduled delivery date of 01/09/2009.


Tracking Number: 1Z 6F8 871 03 XXXX XXX X
Type: Package
Status: In Transit - On Time
Your shipment is moving within the UPS network and should be delivered on the Scheduled Delivery Date. A shipment can remain in this status until it is delivered. Other than time-definite air deliveries, shipments are generally delivered anytime between the hours of 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. to residences*, and by close of business for commercial addresses. UPS cannot schedule a specific delivery time within that window.
* Due to heavy holiday volume, deliveries to residential addresses may be made after 7p.m. Thank you for your patience.


In Transit - On Time
Scheduled Delivery: 01/09/2009
Shipped To: vi's house, PA, US
Shipped/Billed On: 01/06/2009
Service: GROUND
Weight: 24.90 Lbs


HODGKINS,IN, US 01/06/2009 1:19 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
01/06/2009 12:48 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN HODGKINS,IL, US
01/06/2009 12:01 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN HODGKINS,IL, US
01/05/2009 8:06 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN US

i am starting to get used to this

it is 2:39 am according to the clock on the computer
i am of course up with the woodstove
i got a decent fire going..........sorta
i am just waiting until the stove has a big enough blaze and starts to heat the top so i can go back to bed
i still can't believe i got a new computer

a friend of mine this time LAST year said.......wait until after febuary
( that would have been feb 08)
and he was right
new chips came out and the (former) chip of my dreams came down to an almost throw away (for technology) price

i think next up we will ask ourselves
how fast is too fast
but not to worry
MICROSOFT will step in to suck up resources and fill that gap

i don't know if that is a good thing......or a bad thing
windows based systems hog resources ..........so hardware people have to come up with faster and larger capacities
and they have to make them SMALLER as well
so maybe windows.......... isn't all bad?

that said i am still thinking about linux

i am also getting ready for the new computer
as this was an 'unplanned baby'


*** ok so it was sorta planned for 4-5 years but i never thought i could afford it***

i have a lot to do
clean and excavate the computer desk...........
that isn't going to be easy
although i may just find amelia earhart on here, under the wool, books, knitting needles,
fiber, etc.........

i need to rearrange the shelf that i sit next to which has all the surge protectors, and peripherals

i need to figure all the software for the 'move'

and i also need to take my van for inspection
oye

all this on about 5 hours sleep a night


i am very conflicted about this new computer.....on one hand i am so looking forward to faster
and hopefully a bit more stable operation......this system i got now is very unstable

on the other hand.......... who wants to relearn an operating system?

but i guess that's what will keep all of us young
i think of it like a giant ongoing mish mash of jigsaw puzzle, crossword puzzle, and miniature golf......(cause sometimes it is just a lucky shot)


in duckie news.....it would appear that the girls are stopping laying for the winter
which is good as i worry about egg binding

in chicken news.....the baby chooks are jumping out of the brooder
one pullet stuck her head into marguerite's pen
oh man
i thought marguerite was going to take her head off
gees
and talk about SMALL
compared to my big girls
these chickens are SO SMALL

but they will grow
they are after all........buff ORPINGTONS......so big chicken is in their future

and after a good long discussion with the babies last night
we have decided
out of 7
we got three hens

that's ok
that gives us space for speckled sussex

now i need a good outdoor pen for them
cause i want them all OUT this spring
i need the space down there for storage

i will miss a friendly chicken in the basement though as i walk through to go to feed the animals and get out to the garden
maybe i should keep a house rooster?

til next time
when i will hopefully be more awake

cause right now
i am the typing dead...................

vi

WOW the biggest news i gots!!!!!!!!!!!!

i bought a new computer.......!
finally!!!!

ok
i got a systemax
it has a core 2 quad Q6600 cpu
4 G ram
500G hardrive

finally

and i purposely went with an american company with american tech support

i figured i needed to put money into america if i was going to spend it

i didn't spend a lot either on this
so i hope i did good

i know the cpu is outstanding...... not cutting edge but overclockable
and upgradeable

it will be here friday i understand

oh man
now i have to start moving stuff over and partitioning the harddrive

maybe i will just move the harddrive over?
and put a new hard drive in this before i turn it over to bernie
i am going to pull my cd/rw from here and put it in the new machine
i don't know about the floppy drive yet
if i need it i still have access to it through this computer

soooooooooooooo

everyone go and put this on the calender................
as i finally after 9 years..... upgraded!

it's 4am..... do you know where my pillow is?

i am thinking longingly of my beloved pillow
but i am with the woodstove
duty calls
i'm about to go up however as it's gotten nicely warm
i swear with the antibiotics for the lyme......... my life is upside down

and between that and the woodstove
i catch sleep in one to three hour blocks

i have to wait 1/2 after meds to lay down......and two hour after eatting to take meds

so that left me with an hour last night waiting......so i went to bed!
put the timer on.......
and got back UP to take my meds and wait the 1/2 hour

oye

but i did discover one thing.......if while stoking the stove i take meds....
i get a bit more sleep!

now
it's been cold again, but not too windy thank goodness
and the ducks are all in day pens packed with hay
at night they still are in the unheated basement crates
they seem to be doing ok
even cleo who has the worst adjustment to the cold
she isn't bathing quite as much either

later today.....( i can NOT believe i am saying this at 4am........isn't it like still NIGHT?)
we will finally get to the postoffice
and get the inspection done on my van
since i got new tires and all
and a HORN even
and HEAT
oh my......he spoils me

i know i got a LOT of packages coming
books all on sale......(B&N ......1.99 a book and free shipping )

and clothes on an even bigger sale
LONG johns!!!!!!!!........( 11 each)
microfleece tunics..............(8.97 each!)
and a way too big for me goosedown coat that i will add 4 sweatshirts under
and three ducks
it will seem like christmas

ok
the stove is warm
i rambled on unintelligently
(is that a word?)
now i am off to my pillow and 2 feet of blankets.........and bernie

night all

vi

in fiber doings

i am knitting a new 'town' hat
i can't find my favorite gray and black one
so i am making a new one
it's light gray, charcoal gray and rose pink
i am going to do mittens and i think a cowl to match

i am also going to do a set ( totally different though) in blues and red

then i have to do barn boot liners and a balaclava with a dickey and hat attached
maybe i should do the balaclava thing fast?

i swear i wish i knit faster
i used to but not anymore

anyway the new hat is three color knitting
which i thought would be a nightmare but now i realize it isn't too bad

maybe i will try four color knitting next?


it continues cold here, but not as windy thank goodness
all but one duck stopped laying which is fine with me
as i worry about egg binding in the cold

i keep adding hay to the pens

i got enough hay in there for a barn now

i also got a lot of the major open run areas covered with plastic of one sort of another
but it's funny looking
some is black plastic that i use for mulch
some clear
some translucent
some blue tarps some brown and some green

well the pen is colorful i suppose

i can't wait until the other pen is done

apparently the lyme meds are working
i can move my neck again and my back doesn't hurt as bad
!
i was having real trouble turning my head to the right
so much so that it was affecting my driving
i can tell you now that i can turn my head
i realized it at 4am this morning, while getting back into bed for the third time after stoking the stove
( and yes the BOY did his thing to get me up again.........me and him gotta stop meeting like that)

but i didn't waste any of the time i was up and waiting for the woodstove to take
i folded laundry that had been drying on the line in the studio
so at least that was done

see that is the way to do any house work..................in your SLEEP

almost works for me

til next time

vi

good morning 2009

you came in very windy and extremely cold

naturally at the ACTUAL stroke of midnight
i was asleep under about 2 feet of blankets and cats
but i did get up at 1am, 2:30 am, 4:30 am and 8:30am to stoke the wood stove
all because the BOY ( thaddeaus peabody) tapped me on the head

i would say the cats have me well trained........

first fawn come up to my face
stuffing her nose into my nose......right AFTER she's washed her ass.......
cause you know.....she LOVES ME

( gee thanks fawnie)
'mom, the fire is low'


i pet her and mumble incoherently
and pull the covers over my head

(notice how they never bother bernie.................. why is that?)

then when the slight suggestion didn't work
they send in the next line of defence

CALPURRINA

she climbs over me like she's just conquered everest
purring extremely LOUDLY

'MOM, hey the fire's out...........so since it's getting cold there ......i will sleep on your chest and you won't be able to breath........or sleep over my loud purring........, but i love you mom'


i will stick an arm out and pat her head then try to move her so my lungs can expand again

a few minutes later it must be dire down in the studio
as the BOY goes into action


"MOM GET YOUR FAT ASS UP AND DOWNSTAIRS TO MAKE THE FIRE GO.....I AM GETTING COLD HERE'

if i ignore him.....he'll hook my nose.....or pat my eye.....
his toes are non too clean either
and he isn't exactly gentle about it..........

the king will not be denied his fire

at this point i am up and staggering to the studio
bumbling around in the dark
dropping logs on my shins
and praying that whatever makes it into the wood stove will fire up IMMEDIATELY
so i can stagger back to bed
hopefully without burning the house down

and people wonder why i can't remember shit........
or

why i can't seem to get going during the winter

i am the walking dead is why


happy new year to you all

and i hope you get to stay under the 2 feet of covers ALL NIGHT without one disturbance

if you do get to stay where it is snug and warm

give a thought to me
staggering around in the dark and the cold
all for the love of a few curly headed cats

vi

and the snow keeps coming down down down

and as i watch it

i wonder if bernie will be getting home tonight
or will he be staying with the fleet

it's sticking

and it is steady and heavy
and i can't see the woods out back


the duckies were slightly apprehensive about crossing the expanse of the frozen snow covered driveway......

after all there could be killer WHALES under that thar snow
just waiting for little tender duckies to walk across it

there weren't............ what a relief

and the duckies are safely in their day pen
which is almost draft proof
but well ventilated........go figure

meanwhile in baby chicken news........
chooks run wild......

actually they are outgrowing this brooder pretty fast now
and they are trying to get out
i keep finding one or another of them perched on the edge...............

they are still not sure but they are getting closer!!!!

chooks are getting BIG now
hahahaha
3 roos definately
3 hens definately

and one that hasn't declared itself yet
could go either way

i suspect it is a roo though

so that is my little snowy world today

happy new year everyone

vi

And while we’re at it…………..

(this was typed last night in 'word' which accounts for the capitalization.....no i still can't reach the shift key well......word does the capitals automatically)

How about life paths?

I kinda figure folks are where they are supposed to be at any given moment…….
This isn’t a predestined thing by any means
I do feel there is a plan to it all, in spite of the evidence that the universe is being run by chickens……….MY chickens apparently, Larry, Moe and Curly the roosters

( watch now…we got a NEW generation of roosters coming up …..but they are going in the freezer)

I also figure that if you follow along with that sort of reasoning……
There is no reason to envy anyone anything
And also there is no reason for jealousy

( although I will occasionally confess to produce envy……when I can’t get sweet peppers cheap and the garden ones are a bust)

I suppose this all goes along with reflecting and assessing where you are in your life RIGHT NOW.
And trying to pick up the threads and follow them to see if there is an overall theme

It does seem like the time of year for it doesn’t it
And in light of a poor economy, more then just me will be thinking this deeply

I still desperately want my farm and my animals home
I am so worried about them, I wake up at night thinking of them

I am, - I would imagine a hair closer,
as we are paying down the mortgage here…….and finally fixing the house up

I realized that I could use this property as a microcosm of a farm
Work out some of the details here on a small scale
Which is what I have been doing
It’s fun most of the time…..except the ticks and the mosquitoes
(which brought me to lyme disease…..or would that be brought TO me?)

I know so much better when we do move what I need to do to get the results I want

( see this sort of all goes along with the other philosophical writings I been doing lately)

however I don’t believe that staying in this house is good for us as we age
I don’t think it is a good house to grow old in
Nor do I think that this area is safe anymore
But back to life paths
I think that your life path is just that …….YOUR life path
And that sometimes if there are constraints, well maybe that helps narrow the choices down to a amount that isn’t overwhelming?

I know in art school we were taught to give the client THREE choices
Because if we gave them to many……they couldn’t make up their minds
It was too much
Too overwhelming
I think that is the same with life

I also think that it takes a very lot of personal knowledge to survive a place of unlimited and overwhelming choice

Sort of like a kid in the candy shop………..too much candy will get them sick

Or
I could be wrong


vi

Now as of this morning ( I wrote the above last night)
I dreamt of a person that I used to know…….. a LONG time ago
Three times this morning I woke up from a dream only to fall back asleep into that same dream
I dreamt of Lucy Depadova, she is the mother of a boy I went out with in high school.
I loved her dearly
I hope nothing happened to her as the world would surely be a much poorer place withOUT her light in it

(*** thank you so much sjanova for finding that typo, i was still asleep)

traditional times of reflection

there are certain times in our lives
and points during the year
where it is traditional to look back and reflect on what has passed
to assess the validity of actions and choices
on one level, life does simply seem to be a series of choices
with some random events thrown in for variety

i do believe there is a point to it all though

and part of the point i am beginning to suspect, is in the choices we make
ultimately most of these choices won't matter,
such as .............. 'do i have water with this supper, or tea'

'do i have time for a nap'

'should i send for this magazine'

some of course are totally life altering........

'do i move to brazil?'

'do i have a child'


i can't help but think that all our choices are strung together and that after our earthly life is over,
we get to assess them on another level

i also wonder why so many 'change your life' and self help books abound
aren't we making changes daily?
with every single choice we make?

now in my life
i have lost numerous friends this year
some to death
some to 'their season or reason' was over in our lives

i have had new friends come into my life

i have raised yet MORE baby animals
(seems to be a yearly thing now)
and indeed currently have baby chickens that i am raising........at arms length
( 4 roosters in this batch it looks like)

the ducks were a LOT of work
and absorbed me totally but i am very pleased with how that worked out
for the most part

i adore the girls i kept
they are a source of wonder to me daily
and i love watching them waddle in and out from the house to their little day pen, they have such purpose in their walk

i am also learning that i can and DO make excellent decisions for us
carefully weighed
so far the majority have worked out to our benefit
the thing that is continuously amazing to me is that i can actually think something up
and have it happen

as an aside, that would be represented by the tarot card 'the magician'
***making physical that which was only thought- or taking from above to bring to below***

this time of reflection also traditionally involves resolutions
which i don't really think work for most people

i think a resolution should be more like an evolution
but what do i know

i don't do resolutions
however i do have lists of things i think may be important to accomplish this coming year

but the list is not set in stone
some things drop off and some things make it on there
and some things vary in importance

a rough list for me now is

get a new mattress for us ( 28 years is way too long even for a sterns and foster)
put in fruit bushes, elderberry, blueberry, cranberry, blackberry
get the duck pen finished
and add a chicken coop
finally get the kitchen done
now......if the economy turns around......MOVE
if not
replace the studio windows and reside afterwards
make a nice cold frame......maybe not a hoop house as i have been hearing of collapses
but a nice LONG ( possibly down the north line of the property) cold frame

reorganize not only the studio
but the basement
get more bookcases

get my flour mill and more grain storage

on my list is also a trip to lancaster for bulk canning jars again
this time i want jellies, 10 oz, 12 oz and gallons......
( the gallons are for juice and grain storage)

now i also have some 'i would really like to..................if i get the time'
i would really like to sew more
i would really like to go back to making dolls
i would really like to get back to illustration
i would really like to read more
( ok so that last one is sorta not a point.....as i do read a LOT..... but suddenly after 20 years of almost total non fiction, i find myself wanting to read some fiction and reread literature.... i do love my dickens)

i think at this point in my life
my overal goal is
a quiet peaceful life
with home grown food
and home made entertainments

a hands on, handcrafted life
where i am involved in all aspects

there is nothing wrong with a consumer driven life
but it isn't the life for me

happy new year everyone

vi

on being well read and a bibliophiliac

i was given a wonderful christmas present by a friend of mine,
a gift certificate to a bookstore!

she said when she gave it to me, 'you are a voracious reader, and extremely well read, what else would be perfect for you?'

that got me thinking.....
what DOES it mean to be well read?

does it mean a LOT of books
a lot of diversity in your reading?
or a reading list of books from all the ages of man and writing?

from the greeks down to present?

and the books themselves, there is NOTHING like the feel of a finely bound book
the sound of the paper and the smell of it all
the weight in your hand
how the pages turn, if they are easy to read
it begs you to sit in a comfortable chair with a good light, a purring cat, and a beverage........
alone but filled with the heady excitement of an unread book
you have no idea yet what delights will unfold between the covers
what worlds you will travel to
what inroads this book will make on your mind, or soul
an insight into another's mind and world
a way to touch someone else intimately without even knowing them on a level that is at it's purest



some collectors only collect finely bound hardcover editions
i can see why, as the CRAFT of a finely bound book is extraordinary
the perfect weight of paper, so that the text is easily read and no bleed through of text from the backing of that page
the type face, a serif face, that is easily and rapidly read
the open air at the margins, for a breather
hand marbled endpapers, hand sewn signatures
all things about a finely bound book is a feast for the soul as well as the mind

some rare books
and i will soooooooooooooooooo admit for a lust for rare knitting books
that any edition of some of the ones on my list would be more then welcome.....

some, like me are much more interested in contents for the most part, i need to READ THEM
and WILL buy used reading copies just because of the need to read
i am not a snob when it comes to my books
hardcovers sit next to soft covers next to 'reading copies'
***a 'reading copy' is a batter old book but you can read it and after all isn't that the REAL point of being well read?***

i know some of you will suggest using the public library
and i have at times
but
if it is 3am
and you simply MUST reread a certain passage from a CERTAIN BOOK or be denied sleep for the night............
libraries don't quite do it then

i have often however done inter-library loans when i am trying to track down some obscure stuff that i can't find anywhere
hints and references to other books

the references of books to other books always intrigued me and i realize that before there was 'the WEB' there were the books

so now
on my shelves you will find some of the greeks, more then a smattering of history, classic literature, science, the natural world
modern fiction and science fiction, horror, philosophy, as well as cookbooks, craft books, (and various how to books) gardening, animals, new age, ghosts, holidays, books on collecting books even!
and in defiance to purists, you will find plato happily co-exhisting in the same bookcases as harry potter, and charles addams

I wonder if the authors are somehow aware that they live together on my shelves in a relationship that makes sense to me, if not others?

i do tend to feel a bit guilty about the amount of books i have, and the amount of MONEY invested in what for the most part, will never return the investment in funds
but i can't help myself
it is an addiction
an obsession
the need to read
to devour a book
some people need other things
i need books

and i have learned
if you TRULY wish to know a person's soul
browse their library, the breadth of their titles i think
shows the secrets that they don't even realize themselves

vi
who has now got some new books to read!!

did you all have a merry?

i hope so
we went to see a friend of mine a bit south/west of us
we had a blast
i hope they had as good a time

we did get home late
i took yet another fall out back on the way to the duck pen
the alien ice patch from hell is back

today i am going to clean the kitchen
and maybe go to the feed an grain
and possibly borders since they are having a huge sale