Thursday, October 27, 2011

a break in the nightmares

last night i dreamt of my family
of my garden (and of orchids! that we were trying to plant in the ground) my aunt louise was in on that one!
and pretty wardian cases that looked like old old shop counters now repurposed to small greenhouses in the garden
i dreamt of deep rich black dirt (my garden soil is now a beautiful crumbly black)
and oddly enough of sweaters in the dollar store and my dad!
i was looking for a cardi in gray or black for him and a blue one for bernie

this really was a pleasant break in a long series of nightmares i been having

i guess the coming biopsy is got me a bit edgy
the last biopsy i had, bernie was on crutches, after having been seriously hurt at work. (he still has problems with that leg) we didn't have insurance, and i needed immediate attention (2002)
the biopsy before that one, he was laid off, and again i had no insurance (1992)
oye
so here we are leading into 2012 and again i am facing biopsies...so i am again having nightmares
even though at the moment they are unfounded

and yes if i am a bit withdrawn, well now you know what it is
i'm getting a bit apprehensive but i am still sure it will be nothing.
isn't that normal?
the doctors get all upset and turns out to be nothing?
it's when they don't look that the stuff ends up being something

ok tonight the weather reports are calling for 29 degrees and snow
yup snow.....
by tomorrow it will all be slush and gone but that is what it is for today
soooo
i harvest stuff today and i tarp the garden
cause after it is going to be nice again!
here it is halloween and snow
and almost november with NO frosts!

can you say climate change?
yes i thought you could

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