soft days of summer's end

you know the type, those perfectly brilliant days with perfect weather, in a very brief period of time between the demise of the hot hot weather and the onslaught of the cold and dark time of year.
days when you must must be outside,
when you must try to drink it all in
capture if you can the aliveness of it all
before being enfolded up into your cocoon for the winter
that's the reward for enduring the heat and dryness of august
the heat and humidity of the summer
and it's the memory that gets you through the seemingly endless slush and white coldness of sleep of winter

a potato day

at least i hope so
at least 2 bags of 50# each for the winter *** ahem, my beloved lehigh potatoes won't be ready until tuesday next ****--we are slowly getting ready
i wish most of this had been done earlier, (potatoes couldn't be done earlier- but wood could have been)
i wish wood was already stacked, trees cut back from the chimney, windows caulked, and covered with plastic
i also wish i had been well enough to garden, to build my cold frames and have tucked in winter vegetables under a blanket of mulch.
i'm better but not well yet.
i have some hopes of improving slowly.
meanwhile i am painting
right now i am in the midst of chickens.
i don't foresee corn at this point, but it is possible that in a week or so there will be corn and pumpkins and maybe gourds ......and colored leaves to paint
*** i need more lightbulbs*** (note to self-for the drafting table)
i am actually looking forward to getting the colored paper and starting a gouache painting on the drafting table while i work on my chickens on the easel.....

i did 6 paintings in gouache of the summer flowers here....... i am considering doing six paintings in gouache of fall/seasonal plants, possibly corn, leaves, berries, gourds, pumpkins, nuts...
maybe if i keep going i will, after a year, end up with 24 gouache paintings that could be called 'the four seasons' or something

now as an aside..... no one is more surprised then i am to find out how committed  i've become to all this work, and how one thing suggests another and how before i know it a series happens
and yet my subjects seem so randomly varied to me.... and simple, what ever is sort of to hand
and the really oddly interesting thing to me is, how involved i get when i'm painting whatever it is i am painting...
i also seem to be thinking of things such as...'what exactly is it about this light on this form'
all this is done while i am somehow in this weird meditative 'out there' state i get into while painting...

i never thought i would get beyond 'does this tell the story' , even though i am a great believer in 'just show up and work every day, no matter what'......
i probably should have/could have predicted this if i had actually stopped to think about it
meanwhile
as i type this
my painting is calling me .....i am redoing a purple chicken.....
don't laugh
he's giving me the stink eye and daring me to do better

preparing for the influx of stonehenge

the paper that is
i had said if i could find a 25% off coupon for stonehenge i would get it.....i did, so yes i did get it (bernie actually told me to-he liked the gouache on stonehenge series)
now 18 sheets of colored stonehenge are on their way (or will be soon)
plus two sheets of  pescia by magnani (blue) and one each of strathmore charcoal in a dark grey and a cadet blue.
plus an archival box to store the quartered sheets in.
i suspect that the strathmore is going to be for colored pencil as it's pretty lightweight at 64#
the pescia is 300 gsm so about 140#.....we'll see about the surface though- that one only has two options for what i'm looking for..this blue and a grey- but if it's not sized for water media, then i may have to either size it myself....or again, colored pencil work.
the stonehenge is only 90# -200 gsm, and i can make that work

all these papers are 100% cotton rag..
i am dying to get my hands on 100% linen..... i am starting to think i am getting to the point where my work is worth it..... a 300# or more linen would make me very happy in a full sized sheet......unbleached, internally and surface sized.....*** i think i just fainted***..... we'll see after the new year about the mills that have this- i know one is in the midwest, one in canada and one in france.......

so anyway i am getting ready in the studio for the paper to arrive
i've sorted my cut paper boxes, and pulled all the fabriano that i use almost exclusively, out..... it's all in one box now.
the other box has misc. paper from when i was experimenting with surfaces and weights.
i had decided that fabriano artistico 140# hp in extra white is my go to work horse paper.
for the most part, after testing and painting on a lot of other paper. i am only sorry i didn't get more in the 300# weight but at least the 140# is workable.
i have a few paintings on some of the others, and on cp and rough surfaces .....even one on soft press- they are exciting and wonderful-BUT- are a nightmare to photograph for reproduction, where as the artistico hp is much easier.

the stonehenge quartered paper will have it's own box (and yes i labeled all the boxes now with what's in there on drafting tape)

i figure if i can ever get flat files a 10 drawer unit should be ok for me.... i can put finished paintings in four sections per draw......and sort out the full sheets with a draw for halfs and quarter sheets......

and i need a bigger studio..... really i guess i do... i could use a cutting area and a matting/framing area (which i don't do now due to space) ....... storage ** hahahaha, storage around here means NOTHING.....there is none***
and i could use photography lighting..... if i could only get some glare free lighting i am actually capable now of shooting some decent usable digital files, except for the glare
so
that is my studio goings ons.....and my wish list/ goal list
or my 'when i hit the lottery' list

but it is nice to have sorted the paper out .....now i wish i had somewheres other then the budgie  cage top to store it
-- as does the budgie--

toning watercolor paper

i tried an experiment  on my watercolor paper, using staining pigments to tone it.
i'm not happy with it
this is what i did
i mixed up a solution of pigment (pthalo blue 15:3) distilled water, and oxgall
i wet the paper back and front and lightly wiped off the shiny spots-
and when it was sort of damp and flat washed on the pigment with a large flat soft brush, as evenly as i could manage....
let dry and did it again-
the surface i would imagine would be wonderful for colored pencil or even pastel
but i don't think it will be a good idea for gouache, it's already buckling like crazy- not what i wanted at all
now the next logical thing is to just attempt to work with the stonehenge which while i am not totally crazy about the colors....at least is 100% cotton and i know i can use, although i would really like to mount it
and if i can find an archival glue i will....
so far all the so called archival glues aren't...... which leaves me with hide glue
so i  will have to think about that for a while

slowly slowly

how come things never get straightened out as fast as things get screwed up?
we're still having issues with bernie's company making good on the fees associated with their not paying him his vacation pay.
they screwed up and now are giving us a hard time, even AFTER assuring us that they were going to fix it

meanwhile, i'm still out of sorts
the weather is wonderful...i should be very very content, but out of sorts yet- staying away from almost everyone ** so if you are hearing from me on a semi regular basis, know that you are one of the few - i know you're reading this**

i just realized that if i am going to do any print runs this year ....i need to do something NOW
meanwhile i am still painting chickens
i'm about done with the second one...... i'll finish him today, i am not however sure if i didn't ruin him or not
i have two more roosters then hens to do
i also really need to put in a paper order for gouache paintings..... i want more of the stonehenge in some of the other dark colors..... there is a brown, blue, two grays and a tan called fawn i am thinking would be a good idea..
i think i'm going to get three sheets of each, (three sheets should give me 12 painting surfaces so two series in each ground color)...i also found two other papers to test...
i need brushes ( so what else is new) and some odds and ends.. but i am hesitant to put the order in ..it's not going to be a cheap order... it's going to be over a hundred.....so right now, it's only 15% off on 100, i want to wait until i can get 20 or more % off (and i have the wood and oil taken care of)

so that's pretty much it
i am really wishing i had that paper already but it will have to wait......after all i will just paint on it...... thereby avoiding the rest of the chickens and the corn i have to do on the regular paper with the normal watercolors right?

chickens .... up to my ears in chickens

i started to paint roosters, from the bird farm.
i did the lavender orpington, and am working on the buff orpington-
i've been sort of not online to much....i'm going through some of 'those' days
i don't know what it is really
but i'm out of sorts
i guess between bernie's company totally messing up his past 4 weeks pays....
and worry over this winter and the heating situation
*our wood got rained on badly the other night, it's not stacked yet-i can't stack*
etc etc
i wish i had been able to put in a back up kero or propane heater in the studio for nights or even for the bad part of winter so i can paint without films of ice on my rinse water ..
but meanwhile i am just painting
i would like to get some of these paintings printed as prints and cards, and the images put on some other things like house flags and calenders but that is not going to happen right now

i also appear to have allergies against a lot more things... probably mostly involving molds as after the rain i got worse.
thaddeaus too ....... maybe calpurrnia a bit also......* i am dreading heating season-
i found a bottle of zyrtec on the shelf so i been taking one a day...it works the best out of all the allergy meds

so until some of this straightens out around here i guess i'll continue to be out of sorts
but i'll also continue to paint

gouache and possiblities

i've been researching grounds for the gouache paintings again-
i would like a different color ground....
i found some ideas that could work maybe
if i can get to experiment--- i keep hoping someone says 'oh i got the perfect thing for you, it's exactly what you need'
but so far not in america

so this is some of what i been thinking of

all involve work and are an expense i really don't want or need
 1) 300# watercolor paper and acrylic inks- downside..... the ink won't be perfectly even, it will be a mottled look
2) casein on mat board- downside..... this would be a 'lean over fat' which is not good
3) acrylic gouache on mat board- downside......the pigments aren't as lightfast as i would like

all i want is an approximate 300# HOT PRESS -100% cotton rag with a few completely lightfast colors......
dark blue
dark red
deep purple
dark green
and a sorta moody selection of various grays

is that too much to ask?

goals, new work, and progressions

i started work on chickens .....no painting yet, just sketches of buff orpingtons
i plan on doing the 4 colors of them and i will decide later on the progression of the series
i can do series of 8, so two of each color..... the first four just the roos the second four the hens or any combination thereof.
right now however i am just going to reacquaint myself with orpington anatomy.

i have also reassessed my goals....
and i have a few new ones
but i am working on that still so i don't know if i'm really ready to share
oh and it's about a year since that agent contacted me, haven't heard anything more from her- i am thinking that's a lost cause.
so i am also figuring that one was not meant to be for me
meanwhile i am of course STILL painting

i do have to make a priority to get my pdf of painting thumbnails done for the copyright office .....even though i am protected currently i need to know that i have it covered for the future

then i will upload to the website i made (*** mobile friendly ***)
and again start to submit for licensing

i am hoping also to get to print some paintings next month
if folks want them to give as gifts
oye
i need an assistant i think too
but again...meanwhile i paint

wood, stress, tires and more stress

well first off..i finished the last painting of flowers on black paper in gouache.
so this series has, two pansies, two petunias and two rose of sharon......
i do have the columbine, and orchid also in gouache on black paper.....but they don't 'fit' this series
i hope to return to white paper for a while and transparent watercolors
i am sort of waiting a bit, as i have some stuff to deal with (bernie's job screwed up payroll and he's not been paid for two weeks cause a whole bunch of stress and problems for me to deal with, and for him to deal with)
and before that little tidbit hit the fan......we bought our snow tires and part of our winter wood... then found out that we had to cover the overdrafts caused by the direct deposit not happening and the auto pays coming out...
this should be straightened out by the 5th i hope

we did get our snow tires.....we got them online for a savings of 200.00 over the local b&m stores... we did try to buy local but when we started to shop around, we got hit with 'i ordered them for you they are 110. each'----- yeah forget that, we asked for an ESTIMATE.. so for 84.00 a tire and free shipping we got tires, delivered ups
they are now sitting in my living room along with a bushel of green peppers i have to process for the freezer.....

meanwhile, i found out yet another friend of mine died!.... what is this with all these guys dying before 60? so far this summer i found out about 4 of my friends dying!

meanwhile i am again in a fibro flare, so far it's shoulders and fingers........ and my ankles are threatening to spasm if i don't watch it... poor bernie never seems to get sleep on his nights off due to either me with asthma or me with fibro..

so it's stress, stress and more stress.... interrupted with wood and tires...

and how is your end of summer going?

once upon a time

about 20 years ago...maybe a bit later then that
we saw a group of 'ornaments'
at a local in town store that sold plants and produce in season, and christmas trees and ornaments in december
i will never forget those ornaments
i made a mental note to go back to buy some when we had the money but when i did they were no longer there and the new owners of that store had no idea what i was talking about

they were amazing...
all handmade and i was told locally made.
animals in victorian clothing, but not stylized or caricatures.....
made of fabric, about 5'' tall.......delicate, detailed, and perfect
i can't get them out of my head
the pig's legs just blew me away (pig dressed as a chef....old german victorian chef)
the fox as reynard in a hacking jacket, with boots and top hat
elephant as a major in the british military with monocle !
rhino as an edwardian banker with bowler and briefcase
flamingo with an umbrella....
mother goose as a goose.....
all perfect all tiny all delicate ...........

i have been searching for that artist and those 'ornaments' ever since...(it was some time prior to 2000 i know, it could have been prior to 1992 but i can't remember)

anyway i keep looking.......
and looking

now i suspect they were either sewn over a wire armature or  spun cotton over wire.... but either way they were accurate depictions of the animal's anatomy........and to this day i am still blown away

painting, bird farm, vacation

that's been what's going on since my last post
we had a blast with our friends at the bird farm.....OMG i want to move in there
i've finished another painting in the gouache series...... this one was horizontal petunias
(they're all starting to run together on me)
about to start the last of the series which is a vertical rose of sharon in purple.....
bernie did some stuff around the house .....cleaning and such
he also dry burned our back up kero heaters..... and the generator, got some wood stacked
etc etc.......
while i was completing this latest painting

in studio notes, i am still looking for a 100% cotton, fade proof heavy paper or board to paint on with gouache in dark colors.... i found two that would work but they are in england, without a distributor here- disappointing to say the least....
i'm also in need of new brushes again.....i had seen rosemary and co saying 1.00 shipping but when i inquired it was a typo and 11.00 shipping......
cheapjoes is following me around the net with ads for 1.00 shipping too but when i go to use it they won't allow me
so i am waiting.....
but i so need brushes due to gouache wear-
ohohoh, when we moved the paper boxes off the top of the budgie flight cage to take it out for it's annual deep cleaning, i discovered that i had a stash of paper up there, that i'd forgotten about.....so the next time i get paper for painting on, i am getting 300# instead of 140# as i have a ton (seems to be literally a ton, judging by the weight)...... of the 140#.....
so getting in a stash of 300# hot press paper is what i am aiming for in the future.

we are also about to get our snow tires for the prius..... and are waiting for the wood guy to call us back..... getting wood up here lately is a huge problem..... i maybe forced to look into replacing the stove with pellets -although i did see a grate for the woodstove that took pellets.....
heating is getting to be a real problem here...
there isn't a whole lot of building going on up here so land isn't being cleared and there isn't wood to be had as logs lately .... i'm looking at alternatives but so far i don't think we can get solar that can take over.... but i keep researching.
we did get two solar lights to keep for emergencies..... (i need better rechargeable batteries for them though)
i have a goal of having solar lights for nightlights, emergency lighting and also ambient lighting- so then our total lighting needs after are just task.... which i am going to replace with LEDs so hopefully further reducing our electric use....(which is currently 30% lower then a compatible house/family)- i am hoping to get our use, and bill, down to 50% less....
sadly the studio is the worst because of the terrible walls/windows/insulation.... we're working on it ..... slowly

so that's pretty much it- what's been going on here... i would post photos but google's got my gigs limited..... that's why you folks haven't been seeing any pictures here ......sorry

til next time

the start (after tonight)

of vacation.....bernie's that is
well after he gets some sleep tomorrow
meanwhile i am painting that second petunia painting
and after that a rose of sharon.....then this series is finished

i really need to go through my box of finished paintings and see how many i've gotten done this year....
i also need to get a real official paintbox i think, although i am working on a wooden box right now........ i am thinking of the one from kremers for a metal one, they have a 4 row that holds like 28 full pans, i think that's a good idea....it's got to wait however as i can not see spending the shipping money on it. not right now anyway.

see if i am going to be having to go out in the field, i am so going to need something portable... and i am not sure what the most efficient answer is to that either...it's been so very long since i did field work (they call it plein aire now)
but i'll work on it

in other news that's got me concerned, the old farmer's almanac is calling for a brutal cold snowy winter... we still don't have our wood or studded snow tires...
so that's got me super worried now, being's it's august
i'm tired too from the fibro, so everything seems harder and worse to me
oye

well that's our sunday night.... which really for us is actually our friday night
oye
til next time

in painting news

i am continuing with the gouache on black paper series of flowers
so far, i have:

1. columbine
2. orchid
3. pansy dance
4. pansy cascade
5. petunia tower
6. rose of sharon horizontal

and today i start the horizontal petunias
and i'll finish up this series with a second rose of sharon that is vertical
now in between some of the flowers i've also done some of the arctic or nordic/russian goddesses and a pair of fox
that fox pair is a riot....... it makes me laugh
and next week is supposed to be the bird farm visit, so that should give me enough photos and color charts/sketches for a few more months.
we're planning a visit to the butterfly sanctuary too.....but that won't happen i suppose this year, as they close in september and we've run out of time
so that is the line up at the moment of paintings.....
i really need to sit down and figure out how many i've done so far this year....i would like at least 40 a year......more would be better...... (one or two a week would be best).... but some work out longer

right now it's a nightmare to store them all..... and i don't really know exactly how we're going to get them all shot by ed the printer yet..... i would imagine at this point, there are close to 1000 paintings waiting their turn.
and then........ ........ well let's just say it's overwhelming

so that's todays news....

today is raining AGAIN

bern put the girls out ...it's dark and overcast- and today is our sunday
so now he's making breakfast for us

i have a lot of work ahead of me this week, and i am hoping NEXT week is a visit to the bird farm for the upland game birds and edwards pheasants
as bern is on vacation...
we are also going to be doing the captain's flight cage and the mobile *morgue* table in the kitchen .......* it's really just a commercial stainless table on wheels- but it sure looks to me like something you'd see in a morgue*

i am still arguing with myself about getting my work to copyright, then up
yeah i know
but i'm concerned about it being lifted
everyone i know is getting their work lifted
i know i know....it's  a catch 22........oh and also i have to put it in my IRL name
so that's upsetting too
after all these years of 'don't put things on the net'
it's sort of hard to do it

also i have to talk to a gallery ........ the consensus is a ny or philly gallery but i've been hearing of so many going under and the work being seized to pay creditors
oye
so i need to rethink that as well
and i am still really wanting to get licensing contracts for house flags and such

really it's just easier to start a new painting and ignore all this stuff which is what i always do

i need a manager i think-- don't you?

still painting

that's about all i can do lately
last night i had terrible trouble breathing, plus what sleep i got i had nightmares
horrible violent, blood filled nightmares
now normally when i dreamt of blood i would have a monthly- but me and monthlys never were a regular thing and either way....they are a thing of the distant past.

also today i found out another friend of mine died......LAST YEAR
i feel terrible about that, and not know if a year later i should call the widow, or send a card or what?
there are way too many people i know on the other side now
even for me
meanwhile.......
it's our friday night
i should be in bed
i am going up

in a minute

did you ever get tired

of stupidity?
watching the world lately, i keep thinking it's probably LONG over due for the planet to shake off humans in a mass extinction and start over
i'm very tired of all the crap that is going on
how many ways people can try and bully, control, force, coerce, scare.... etc other people
trying to get folks to do something that could/maybe contrary to a person's inner map
and the fear on all sides

it's all very tiring

brush woes

lately i've been working in gouache almost exclusively... botanicals (i use that term loosely)
but my kalish brushes gave up the tips FAST
so again i am on the hunt for new springy tippy brushes that will last more then 5 gouache paintings
lots of suggestions
and lots of cost variations
meanwhile my poor petunia painting languishes on it's easel
maybe i should have a brush fund raiser (it's only half a joke, brushes aren't cheap)
anyway that's what i'm doing right now with my summer

and the summer is fast flying

i'm battling allergies or something, it's giving me a lot of trouble on and off with breathing
so i'm really not doing much except painting
we did manage to get some very good bargains on meat so we stocked the freezer.
we're trying to stock veggies too now
i am back to knitting again, but very little at a time.....and my circular needles keep breaking
meanwhile i'm planning paintings
i also wrote to the copyright office about the orphan works act
so thankfully i got that in to them in time
and i am researching small appliances for the kitchen, drop in cooktops or wall ovens
narrow fridges....... 18'' dishwashers or dishwasher drawers.....
i can't afford them yet but in the future.......
that's about it

again dodging fibro flares

but slowly things are getting done, with a lot of help from bernie as i can't do much of what i used to do .......
bernie told me that the upright freezer is now full
(all the container meals)
we have to rotate the hams out, the precooked ones will stay but the ones that need cooking are to come up, be cooked and then cut up, packed and put away as meals
i have beef to look for next (a good sale would sure help)
and then i'll be doing more veggies
we have a lot of sliced peppers put away, and hope for stuffed peppers to be put away
he's got a guy at work who has a small truck garden and we're getting bushels of stuff when we can
we've gotten potatoes and peppers and corn so far over the past year-
meanwhile i need to seed spinach for the fall
this morning we put away 6 small pork roasts
yesterday we put away 10 meals of breaded porkchops and about 40 of hot dogs (it's a compromise, i don't like or agree with hot dogs, he loves them, they were on a bulk sale at the provisioners, so we got them.
with bernie's help we can get done part of what i used to be able to do in a morning...

i am still debating a kickstarter for printing work
i don't quite have the energy yet... so that's on hold
but i would really like to get the gouache paintings printed so i can sell the originals..
as if i keep them i am going to have to either get flat files or frame them

so that's what's up..oh and rain..... tons of rain and more rain

and how is it by YOU?

and here it is.....JULY!~

i've been sick off and on with fibro flares in response to weather
today isn't too bad so far
when i'm able i am devoting all my time to painting
currently gouache on black paper..... flowers-
i did the birthday orchid from bernie, horizontal pansies from the deck,
vertical pansies from the deck (in the midst of that one)
and planning on doing the lime/fuchsia striped petunias as well (one horizontal one vertical to 'go with' the pansies)
ed my amazing printer is on vacation in i think colorado......no doubt fly fishing
so nothing is going to be printed until he's back
unless i get cards done
one of my friends has a printer that does her cards and although i'd have to ship, i may do this just to get the cards done

if i do 5 paintings a month as cards.......wait who am i kidding, i am so prolific that i would have to have 15 paintings a month printed to cover the new work as well as making a dent in the backlog of paintings that are piled up in boxes
ahem, i also need more archival boxes at this point

as has been pointed out numerous times (yes i know you're right KAREN) if i sold the originals........... yes yes yes i know
but until they are in digital files i can't do that
i really should get one box started a year though

meanwhile i am liking (ahem was liking) the gouache, these vertical pansies are kicking my ass a bit right now.....maybe it's too much yellow
or specifically CADMIUM yellow
but the other two yellow gouaches from m graham aren't the right shades of yellow and no amount of mixing helped that

well ok....it's time now
i have to get dressed and get to work
those pansies aren't going to paint themselves