and the answer is......

benign!
so now i have to go to the rheumatologist  --- they are pretty sure it's fibromyalgia--
and i am going to ask to screen me for lyme
i'm still not convinced that the thyroid isn't giving me grief though as well

meanwhile i am recovering from the biopsy, i got a sore throat and a stiff neck...
muscle pain and of course general all over pain from the stress
not to mention sleep issues again

i am hoping for a few days to sleep late now

i've also started layouts for the next painting in this current series... but i have to do some advanced studies to pull it off so i've started on that

i am considering accepting some commissions for paintings, i keep getting asked but i've been so focused on getting work together for licensing i really didn't want to stop to do something else

i was sort of gently talked to about that today...in a way that i didn't consider
so i am going to try to figure out pricing for portraits, which is what i was asked about today....
other folks have asked about things such as bugs, which right now i don't do
so we'll see
if i can figure out a fair pricing structure i am going to say ok to the next one i think
(the one today was a portrait of a horse which is almost irresistible to me )

let's see what all else?
i still have sleep lab and the 24 hour cortisol test to do, and i am waiting for the referrals to the next specialist....
i have some down time to work out the studio rearrangement too i think
i am hoping that i can get the photos done of the paintings soon as well....
oye
so very much to do, and all of it seems to be rough to get to

monday

i suppose it's summer in earnest now
we got the deck furniture up, and i am wondering if we can squeeze one more summer out of the umbrella (bernie wants a red one and i don't think it's a great idea.....so this one is taupe and i think inspite of some moss on it.. a better less bug attracting idea)

we'll get the red one eventually

my scarlet tanager pair is almost finished, the male of course is in 'screaming in your face' red....
the female is in soft shadings of grey and greens and yellows
and i am at the point where i am hating it..and thinking it's terrible so i'm almost finished with it!

general consensus is it's very good-- but really the better i get the less satisfied i am with what i have painted

in other news (which really isn't news but most of my life isn't news anyway) is that there is a male ruby throat hummer that is buzzing me when i go out on the deck........ so we'll be putting up a feed for him and his multiple wives...
i suppose a humming bird painting will then be in my future?

other then that..... right now everyone is well, i have that biopsy tomorrow
i don't expect any issues with that at all
and summer has arrived in green leaves and warm breezes

oh my FRIDAY already?

i've been busy, first i was working on violets then i researched and laid out the pair of scarlet tanagers
i'm liking what is going on so far, and spending an enjoyable time watching the female take shape
i've decided that for this series i am going to take the painting of the quail pair out and add in an abandoned nest
then most likely do a gamebird series for the quail painting to belong to

actually this nest series was a very interesting series to me,  and when i finish i am hoping that it all 'hangs' together as a series...which i think it will
 i am also liking the idea behind it so i am considering expanding on that or continuing to explore that-i am considering maybe some three dimensional  pieces to go into this, i don't think i'll push it but i keep getting a few ideas popping up so we'll see..... (that would require another separate workspace)

i started working with gouache on the black paper, as well as botanical work.......... so we really need to finish setting up my other easels and workspace now--
i did a rough floor plan and lighting plan...... i think it'll work..
and we need to think about getting a computer just for the studio........
meanwhile i keep looking for an agent-- although lately with all the medical stuff, not as diligently as i was...
and since the fall i've had to recover.... the doc said the fibro kicked up and with rest the flare should soon be over......
so all things considered i'm still progressing...... slowly but surely

i will say....i am liking this female scarlet tanager i'm painting right now... in spite of her being green

and with that ....a good night

crossroads are the stuff of life

and i feel another one coming on
i have been working with the idea of licensing
and somehow ended up painting mostly birds- now don't get me wrong, as i love birds (you all know i got enough of them right? .oye)
i'm also teaching myself botanical art while the violets are blooming
i have a few areas i can expand into and i would really like to do just that
i am getting to a point though where i am trying to figure out if i should further specialize in my work.....
or consciously branch out a bit
the muse is no help at the moment

i have realized that over the past few years, i have decided (and that was reinforced by friends who believe in me) that what i do really is worth while.
even when my work bombs... the overall level is worthwhile
to that end now........ i find i am not skimping on art supplies anymore
since i was given those colored pencils..........suddenly my world view has change and to that end
i ordered even better brushes.....(wow..wowy wow wow wow)
i had been slowing getting supplies.... a good brush here and there.... the BEST quality lightfast paints (slowly slowly) i kept trying to put off the bulk of the really good  brushes..... but something snapped in my head and i ordered quite a few brushes recently ( with more planned down the road)

suddenly i am not willing to settle.... not with supplies, not with my work.... and i am pushing even harder to get what i consider better at what i do
now my crossroad is ......which way to take my work....and which way (and where) to market it
i knew starting this color work that i wanted to license it...flags and such
i need to figure how hands on to be
i need help brainstorming this as well
bernie isn't much help in this area, as he is basically 'whatever you decide'

so that's where i'm at on this sunny spring morning.......
not altogether a bad spot to be in i think

one down.........

i got the adrenal insufficiency test over with-- yeah!
i was sick yesterday from it but i'm better today
i have the biopsy, and 24 hour cortisol yet to go + now i have to get to the ortho to look at the knee i fell on last month, as it still is not healed and it's got hard little lumps in it that hurt bad when you touch them-- climbing stairs is still really hard

the doc put me on 50,000 ui vitamin d weekly for 8 weeks and then i have to have 2000 ui a day
with the hopes that my vitamin d deficiency clears up- i was 4 and the lowest is supposed to be 30
oops

what all else?
i started working with the black paper and gouache..... and immediately ran into a snag....
my synthetic brushes are giving me fits
huge fits
so i spoke to a brush company down in jersey and followed their suggestions as to what to use
(sable- but not kolinksy) so they will be here probably by monday no later
meanwhile the jays are finished
and when i recover some energy i can shoot them as well as the other paintings that are waiting

ok i have to run but that's a fast update
i hope you all are enjoying spring this year after the winter we just had

ready..........set....................... oops!

i am just about done with my bluejays,
thaddeaus peabody is doing well
life is quiet for the moment
and
i am about to start the series on the black paper....(things move in my world but they move at the speed of a turtle in winter in reverse)
i have gathered my supplies, taken my photos, dug my plants, did my research, meditated and dreamed,
crossed my fingers.......
now i have to cut the paper- it would be best to do that today
however i am not sure WHERE to cut paper!
(sounds funny but you need a large surface that is the absolute right height and it's got to be spotless...yeah right, in MY house?)
oh how i long to build a deltec house with an attached studio that has doors to close it off from the main part of the house

meanwhile that paper won't cut itself...... and i guess i best get to it

til next time

today was an emergency

Mr peabody ended up with an abscess on his jaw....
i knew he wasn't feeling well but i thought it was his sinus stuff....... he gets it spring and fall
after all yesterday he was a holy terror
although a lot of the time he was clingy and wanted mom......
we all know that when the kid is sick (even if the kid is furry) that sick kid wants mom...
he wouldnt' even let me paint
today when i got down he wouldn't say good morning- wouldn't even look at me
so i canceled my medical appointment i had today and called the vet for him
and took my baby boy to the vet
he had emergency surgery to deal with his abscess..... it was such an emergency that even though he ate, they did the surgery
he did throw up several times
and it took him about 9 hours to come out of the worst of the anesthesia- and i cried the whole time
he's got a shot of antibotics, and we are going to watch him
the irony is ......it was not an abscessed tooth
however is was around a tooth....
omg i was so worried about him
bernie was so worried about him
now he's resting in his crate
he would like to eat but isn't allowed yet
he's wobbly and so he is to stay crated for 24 hours
i let him take a very brief fifteen step walk and now he's asleep again

i doubt i'll sleep tonight