midwinter thaw but it sure ain't gonna last

and it's pouring rain....
we're due high winds..... with a snowy finish

how's that for mother nature having peri menopausal mood swings?

me, i am coming down with something... something cold-ish....intestinal-ish.....
tired, achy etc......
and it's more then just the usual mid winter sleep deprived exhaustion
i had to go to town today so i took dayquil to keep me going
forgot to eat though...
i did have coffee, took my thyroid meds ( i don't know why i bother, they aren't doing much lately)
gave the cats their hot fancy feast (and fawn got HER thyroid meds)
fed and watered the chickens, budgies, and ducks.......took the ducks OUT
stoked up the stove and then

went to town... but realized i had forgotten to bring the keys (amoung other things) to the PO box so had to come back-
then after the po (i was embarrassed, as kelly had to give me a box to put all the mail in- and i still have not had the energy to open ANYTHING in there, including a package from a dear friend)
i got cat food.......
i got gas in the van all by myself.....i think i put the gas cap back on right, maybe not
then i came home to bring in the cat food and mail....... as with still some logs in the back i didn't have much room

then went to the grocery store
which was a disaster
i was so worried about the gastric upset that i had going on......(and i could hear it rumbling)
that i left without my leeks and flour......the lady had to run after me
i was so embarrassed
at that point i was so ready to text bernie and tell him i hated him (he normally does little errands or we do them together and he pumps gas) now i didn't really hate him but this training thing is getting to me
it's way to freeken long
especially during the worst part of winter
now i believe his trainer is going to go home for his home time break... bernie will be in a hotel during that time
WTF?
he was RIGHT HERE YESTERDAY why couldn't they just have left him here while the trainer took home time?
save the expense of a hotel.....no?
needless to say i am not happy at the moment

of course i am tired, sick, tired, hungry and stressed right now so that may have something to do with it
oh and tomorrow i have to get a ton of wood in again........to get me through this latest cold snap-with my shoulders hurting and threatening to freeze on me

did i mention i  want chinese food....? i do.....really bad too
and a roast beef
with pan drippings

and most of all i want bernie home and to sleep through the night

friday we're half way through this
more or less
oye

storm storm storm storm, get your weekly storm here

half way done

today's storm is freezing rain sleet and snow
and i did WAY too much moving of wood over the weekend......
let's just say, part of my spring plans are going to be including pt on my shoulders again-
ice princess is coming along, painfully, slowly, as i have time (and movement) to paint.
today actually i am going to get a bit more time as it's warm enough to be able to have a log take a few hours with a good BTU output so i am hoping to get a lot more done on her background today

this coming friday is the midway point of bernie's training.... i know he's homesick now.
how long can you keep someone cooped up in a truck away from home and family and expect them NOT to be homesick
and i know he misses the little things,
daily showers
fresh baked homemade from scratch cookies
home cooking
just talking
cuddling with me and the animals....
i bet he even misses the hugs of the ducks at this point

meanwhile i am doing a ton of damage to my poor decrepit old lady body- although i rather doubt people half my age could keep up with the amount of wood i'm moving daily
i'm as stubborn as an ox so i keep going
i didn't say i was smarter then a dead gnat ......cause anyone in their right mind would have packed it in already

but i am stubborn

so today i am going to try and grind some wheat to make my bread, paint and keep warm

i hope you all stay warm and safe out there

past few days

have been brutal..... i couldn't keep the house warm, it was way too cold for a house with too little insulation in the studio (the main house is solid stone so once that gets warm it stays warm but the studio.....oye)
i moved a LOT of wood
about a cord
all by myself
this morning i shoveled a 4'' coal bed out of the woodstove (it broke my heart to do it) and dumped the live coal into our burn pit out back..... the woodstove has been behaving a lot better since then.

calpurrnia is sick today, she was throwing up and then stopped eating.
i filled socks with rice and nuked them for her ....i kept her under a few towels and shirts and some wool..... with her hot rice, and force fed her watery fancy feast
she's doing better now
so much so that she just got up out of her little nest and went to the food bowl then instead of burrowing back into the covers she's now on top
 ironically thaddeaus who is the cold one normally.... seems to be much warmer then calpurrnia!
fawn is fawn
she's right next to me and doesn't want a blanket

i covered the doorway between the front hall and the living room with plastic, it made a huge difference.
the back door is covered too
i have to say RIGHT THIS SECOND.....i have an unfamilar feeling in my toes..... they are WARM!
the first time they are warm in i don't know how long!

meanwhile it's snowing out
bernie's stuck in indianappolis indiana, the truck is in the shop. he called me while he was doing laundry.( i was trying to catch up on some sleep...i've had about three hours total over the last two days)
he then went to eat and called me back
he's home sick and he's worried
i told him .....we're ok, it takes me a long time to do everything ....but i am getting it done
i can't do it any where near as fast as he does
he can put in a weeks worth of wood in less then 1/2 hour
it takes me three days........ and that's working for a couple hours
(i have to rest in between)
i got the van loaded with wood right now....
i have enough to get through the snow in the house....... and even though it's snowing if i really have to it's just a few steps away from the front door
it is cutting into my painting time but judging by the quality of the painting i am getting done.....well it's not too bad no?

with the snow the studio is getting warmer...... so maybe i will get some sleep?
i discovered a few things for next winter that will help with the wood stove
one is a pressed sawdust block called enviblock ......
and the other one is called ecobrick
as part of my woodstove issues were that big coal bed.... and an incomplete burn
these two pressed sawdust blocks will burn hotter so the coal bed will be reduced to ash FAST
plus they will go a few hours so i can sleep
i wish i had them this winter ..... but hey....

there usually is about 4 weeks of brutal weather....last two weeks of january and the first two of feb......
unfortunately this year bernie is out in training
and while he was told he'd be home after his fourth week out.... he still isn't hearing anything about home time yet so we're sort of not counting on it now
i am fending for myself pretty well....... (ok so more or less....i can't seem to get to the post office!)
sunday or monday if it's good weather i have to go to town, i desperately need hay
and i am going to see about milk and some green veggies
my winter stash is buried in the garden under a LOT of snow and ice
so
there you go.... i am surviving....
i am covered in unexplained black and blue marks though... damned if i can figure out where they are coming from!
every times i see my legs there are literally dozens of new ones! i suppose my arms and back are too.....but it's so cold i am changing FAST
(long johns are my very bestest friend and i am sleeping in them too! as well as a wool hat and a fleece robe....there isnt' any heat in the bedroom)

ok chickies.... i have to go
i am going to put some wood in the stove and see about some sleep for a while
stay warm and be safe

not for sissies

well let's see

ice princess, beginnings

i've fallen again.... this one was a good one too... hurt my back and hurt my knees, shoulders, legs etc

that was the other day
a hot shower after an early night helped

last night i was up every two hours or so with the woodstove
today i got wood in the van again.... only to discover my woodcart has a flat
if i can't move wood from the shed to the van i've pretty much had it

one wood pile is totally frozen ...... it was damp i guess when bernie tarped it and it's all frozen together
that is mainly the logs from the big sugar maple that died and we had taken down this summer
i am not too sure what to do about this

i ground wheat last night to bake some bread, which i'll be baking later today
right now i am trying to warm up from being outside

bernie called, he was snowed in out somewhere in ohio, so was catching a few more hours sleep... i am hoping he gets home for a break soon as i need the tire/inner tube fixed on the wood cart ASAP
this winter is one of the bigger challenges in my life
meanwhile i am painting the ice princess from the russian fairy tale...her father was the winter and her mother the spring..
she's a challenge... really serious challenge

i am also about to submit to agents, and i am considering waiting for bernie to get home to submit, as normally we do stuff like this together. i'll have to talk to him about it next time he calls

so that's about what's going on......i'm sleep deprived (always though this time of year)... exhausted, etc..
and let me tell you...most people half my age could NOT do what i do every day......
today it's bitter cold out.. with wind
the wind chill makes it really bad
it's so cold even the animals aren't out
but i was
moving wood

i got to be outta my freeken MIND

a snow storm? really?

bernie was not even 20 miles from home last night, i was to have gone to meet him but due to this winter storm helen......it was a no go

meanwhile
i've about run out of wood.....next week we are getting single digits so i have to figure a solution FAST
i can't throw wood up on the deck as i am too short and i don't get it hefted up high enough
i tried to put a platform out there but can't move the cinder blocks which are iced to the ground and each other
the only other thing i can possibly do is take the seats out of the van
fill the van with wood and leave that out in front of the front door......
i think that's my solution

i shoveled us out pretty much..... the plows broke our curbing and i can't move the chunk out of the driveway to get the van out either.... i called the township ......... so far i haven't heard from them
oh man this is 'interesting times'

i swear i have no idea how i can still be fat..... people half my age can't keep up with me... and i am so active that even men shake their heads......

oye

i fell out on the ice

this morning out back-all ice

 lilli ran past me when i was trying to get her in the pen....she's a bit molty and a bit broody and she's being a total asshole......
i twisted (big mistake there) to grab her and went down.
i could not save myself
fortunately i didn't get too badly hurt
i twisted my back some, which i am sure hoping doesn't act up later...
i got a few bangs but i didn't get that solid smack of pain i have gotten sometimes when i've fallen

meanwhile bernie is due to be 45 minutes north of home sometime tomorrow.....he is going to try and actually get home but we don't have too much hope for that.
i am cooking a few meals for him in case he does.....he'll be able to take them with him on the road then
i'm going to do the meat part and stuff like barley and rice.....he'll do the salad/veggie part on the road then. (edited to add, he's not getting much chance to call home, i am lucky to hear from him for a minute early in the morning maybe- most of the time i have no idea where he is..... he's been all over about 12 states so far- he's homesick but thankfully really really busy...me? well .....i'm not taking this well- i will be so glad when this part of the training is over)

meanwhile the chickens are thinking of starting to lay again
i sure hope so....
and i hope that prudence starts to lay again too...cause i need some duck eggs for baking

new work......

i'm working on a few trees in the snow... this one has white lights on it......i know you can't see that now but it does.... when i finish the whole painting i'll take the liquid mask off and there will be white lights all over the tree.....or at least white dots..... maybe they won't look like lights...... maybe they will just look like white dots
i am not crazy about the blue, green....and paper white palette but it is what it is
at lest the blues and greens are broken color so maybe a bit interesting?
so this is what i'm working on today, while bernie starts his training

mixed ........so very mixed

bernie had to leave today, he is hoping he can get home every two weeks or so for this training period
it's a new phase of our lives

me, well i miss him terrible, as we are rarely parted
i took him down to the airport, where he picked up the car his new company rented for him.
i cried all the way home
it sounds so silly but i've always been this way
i hate having anyone i love leave......even for a few days
my sister in law called me, she knew how i was going to be considering how hard i cry when she leaves.
i kept crying

thank goodness we got him that cell, as he and i have been talking back and forth for hours

we talked about everything that lead us here...... to this point in time
and i am so trying to trust that it will all work out
he thinks it will
meanwhile i am going to cut more paper tomorrow and start painting
i am going to aim for some submissions by the end of the week

right now, it's WAY past my bedtime,
i am going to throw a few logs on the fire now and go up to read for a while

i wish everyone a happy new year